With my drawings back in my pocket... and with Krono headed back to the kaiila pens... I returned to the main fires to check on the stew. I had some sewing to tend to while Bull and Taeleah took a bath. It was quiet.. too quiet.. something told me a whole whirlwind of shitstorm was about to decend upon me. And I was right.
It started with a familar jingle jangle of spurs. Ive heard it countless times.. I knew it well. Fonce wasnt far off. Round the wagons He came... took a drink then mosied up into His famous crouch by the fire before settling in. We exchanged the usual pleasantries.. idle chit chat and all... but then He hit me with the question of the year. "How's Ash?"
Fuck.
I did my best to try and act like it really didnt matter to me. But I also didnt want Him mad that I had not come to Him sooner.
"Ok... I guess"
Cringe.. eye roll. Damn... that's as good as I could come up with?
Alittle more Fonce PI work and I finally had to tell Him that Ash had been missing for months now. "Who's been running the Tribe? Making decisions?" He asked. I couldnt come up with any other witty retort.. so I told Him. "Ive been doing the best I could" And I had been. But Fonce brought up the next bit of intuitive words. "That's fine Silken.. but the Men wont follow you for long" I knew this. But... I was kinda .. having fun in the position I had been thrust into.
And Damn it.. I liked it.
My world then went sideways.... not that I passed out or felt dizzy.. but in walked Sev. She is so full of color.. so alive.. that I had to smile and tip my head to the side to take it all in. We nodded our greetings so as not to distrub the male brain in thought. We went back to my well being discussion... and I told them about Krono. How I had recruited Him from the outer wagons and just filled them in on how He has been helping me.
Enter the man of the kaiila clan.
Krono arrives with a kaiila nipping at His heels. I waved Him over and introduced Him to Fonce and Sev. I caught Sev looking at me with this grin that just painted a red blush all over my cheeks. Had I been that obvious in my enjoyment of seeing this man arrive? Guess so. I looked away for a moment while Fonce addressed Krono... and then fast as a bola 'round the ankles of a slave girl running... Fonce struck. "How'd ya like to be Ubar?"
Shit.
I nearly lost my legs under me.
Krono did not faulter in one bit.. I dont even think His heart missed a beat. Mine did. Everything I had worked for was about to ripped from me... including my Mate. Again.
The Men talked... and it was decided that Krono would take the furs. Fonce... being second in command now had the task of deciding what would become of me. Not by His choice.. but by Krono's. Krono asked Him.. since Fonce knew me and Ash better. So.. between us.. it was decided that my mating to Ash was dissolved.
Abandoned again.
I was now the unmated baggage of the Ubar. I was His ward.. He.. was my guardian. I excused myself... to ready my wagon to be moved.. but Krono would hear nothing of it. He wished it to remain right where it was. I was shell-shocked. Stunned.. confused.. and had a million questions running through my brain. They would have to wait. Upon returning to the fires... Krono asked me what position I held within the Tribe.. and I simply told Him.. En Healer. I left out the Ubara part... it hurt the most to lose and frankly there was no way to keep it so.. why bother. He granted me stay in my clan and my position.. to which I was thankful for.
More chit chat filtered through the air... I really could concentrate much with what I had been given to chew on. But... eventually Krono had to leave to tend to some business. It wasnt long after that I needed some space... some time alone to file everything I digested into the proper places.
As the drums sounded to the change of titles.... I walked the rows...Jax only a few steps behind me. I could feel the stares... I even heard the snickers of some. But it was the wicked laugh of one that shot through my heart like an arrow on fire. She stopped me.. by running up into my path and pointing a finger into my chest. I looked up to this younger woman's eyes.. which.. were filled with mirth and I swear .. joy. "Chased off another one.. ehhhh Silken?? Or... is He dead? Did you kill another one??? " She said.. much to happy with my heartache. I looked away biting back the tears and stepped around Her. Jax passed by this Woman and then stopped to turn and look at Her. He narrowed His eyes and growled... "Be quiet Wench." He said and then moved to catch up with me. I held back the torrent of tears till I was out of Her sight.. then.. I broke down. I cried... and cried.. till I could no longer breath. It was Jax quick thinking that would catch me before I fell... and scooped me up into His arms. He took the long way home... avoiding the eyes of most.. and returned me to my wagon. He made sure I was tucked to my furs before heading to the door and called back. "Im right outside... if... you need me" I could only nod. My throat felt swollen and sore... I couldnt speak. I lay in my furs for sometime... till the point they were wet with my tears and finally sat up and moved against the wagon wall. For sometime... I stared at the small fire in the bowl in the center of the room. Wondering.
I shook my head and closed my eyes with a sigh... whispering...
Easy come.. easy go Silken.
That's when I heard the Sky....
and the bitch was laughing.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Page 558 ~ Finding beauty in negative spaces
In mid throw... my arm froze. My fingers curled just a bit tighter to not relinqish possession of that crumpled piece of paper I had been ordered to retain. Slowly... I turned a languished gaze to the voice that commanded me to "stop". Somehow.. I was not surprised to see Krono there. It was He that stood.. expressionless... staring at me and then shifted His eyes to my hand. The one poised in the air.. still clutching that piece of paper. When He looked back to me.. and our eyes met.. I felt a sudden surge of embarassment. Would He ask to see the paper? Would He understand the drawing that had appeared.... or worse.. would He laugh at them and then call me a silly Woman?
I ran through a spectrum of emotions in just a few Ihn. Easing my arm down to my side... I finally looked back at Him as my hand slid behind my back. My elbow bent, my arm drawing upward to mid back. No.. this was my paper and it would remain so. Krono shifted in His stance... Perhaps amused that I tried to hide something from Him or keep it from Him. And when I saw that half-quirked smile... I knew I was about to be interrogated.
or so I thought.
"Were you about to throw that in the river?" He asked. And I tried my best to play it dumb. "What?... where? " I asked.. masking emotion behind tendrils of firey hair. He gave me that look... the look most men have with a woman who for all good purposes is trying to keep something a secret that they already know. A tilt of His head.. like He tried to look behind me.. and I relented... bringing my arm down and forward. "This?? ohhhh... uhmmm well..." Stalling.. and rather terribly.. I started that dance to keep myself on the line. "Its not a good thing to litter Silken. Burn it.. but dont toss it" He said. Huh? Wait... did He...? He just.... did I just get a pardon? Wow... I stood there stunned. It wasnt often that someone.. especially a man... left me speechless. Still dumbfounded.. I uncrinkled the paper.. made a few attempts at smoothing it out.. and then folded it to be placed back in my pocket.
I made a stab at retrobution...
"How is your day.. Krono?" I said and He chuckled.. shaking His head. "Invite you to dinner?" I asked.. stumbling over my words as well as my feet. Again.. He chuckled. "That'd be nice" He said.
I had no problem asking Him to eat with me.... its been months since any sign of Ash... or anyone else for that matter.
(Now.. before some of you attack me and rip me to shreads... you know damn well you havent been here. Or at least RP'ing in the Harigga... so.. cut me a break and let me play. You can say your charature has been in the outer wagons... on a journey.. or streaking at the arena for all I care. Some of you have moved on to the cities and new lives. Well.. good for you! Silken hasnt seen some of you in a Mun year so... deal with it. Yes.. Mun life takes precidence... I fully understand.. but I wont sit here and play that your around when your not.)
Maybe Ash found He was needed in the outer wagons... maybe His skills as a Smith were required... either way... He has been gone and I deal with it as I always do. I move on. If He comes back.. great. I'd love to chat... see what he's been up to... but... I know that things have changed. I have changed. I know what I once felt for Him is.. gone. Yes.. I love Him.. but I am no longer IN love with Him. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder... it makes the heart grow protective and cold. Black. Think I'd be used to this by now. Shit.. far from it. Still hurts to be claimed.. turned into a trophy and left on the shelf to collect dust. Well.. this time.. I wont stand for it. Im moving on.. without words.. without whining.. and without answers. Ask me what you want... I'll answer to the best of my abilities. Honest and up front. So... I just gave up on Ash? Uhmmm... I dont think I was the one that.. gave up. Im still here.. arent I?
Now that my small bitch fest is over... I can return to concentrating on my life. Ive sent word to Aunt.. I want my kids back. I want the younger kids home.. with me. Dakota and Shanay are on their own. Grown into thriving adults. I see them now and then when they come to visit. Wily and Talia are young adults...24 and 22 years old... living life and finding new things among the people. They too stop by between their busy lives. Star... and the twins.. Sonny and Mia are almost young adults... 19 and 16. They still have their studies and training.. but more or less are on their own. Vee and Ess turned 12... I heard they are working hard in their chosen caste's.. which.. makes me proud. Bull is 8 and Taeleah is 5 now. They still live with me.. so.. having a few of the other's that wish to return would just be an added bonus.
If they decide not to return.. I am fine with that also. I know they love me. I know I love them. But.. I will wait anyway.. to see who does come back... Children and Tuchuk alike.
It's getting interesting.....
I ran through a spectrum of emotions in just a few Ihn. Easing my arm down to my side... I finally looked back at Him as my hand slid behind my back. My elbow bent, my arm drawing upward to mid back. No.. this was my paper and it would remain so. Krono shifted in His stance... Perhaps amused that I tried to hide something from Him or keep it from Him. And when I saw that half-quirked smile... I knew I was about to be interrogated.
or so I thought.
"Were you about to throw that in the river?" He asked. And I tried my best to play it dumb. "What?... where? " I asked.. masking emotion behind tendrils of firey hair. He gave me that look... the look most men have with a woman who for all good purposes is trying to keep something a secret that they already know. A tilt of His head.. like He tried to look behind me.. and I relented... bringing my arm down and forward. "This?? ohhhh... uhmmm well..." Stalling.. and rather terribly.. I started that dance to keep myself on the line. "Its not a good thing to litter Silken. Burn it.. but dont toss it" He said. Huh? Wait... did He...? He just.... did I just get a pardon? Wow... I stood there stunned. It wasnt often that someone.. especially a man... left me speechless. Still dumbfounded.. I uncrinkled the paper.. made a few attempts at smoothing it out.. and then folded it to be placed back in my pocket.
I made a stab at retrobution...
"How is your day.. Krono?" I said and He chuckled.. shaking His head. "Invite you to dinner?" I asked.. stumbling over my words as well as my feet. Again.. He chuckled. "That'd be nice" He said.
I had no problem asking Him to eat with me.... its been months since any sign of Ash... or anyone else for that matter.
(Now.. before some of you attack me and rip me to shreads... you know damn well you havent been here. Or at least RP'ing in the Harigga... so.. cut me a break and let me play. You can say your charature has been in the outer wagons... on a journey.. or streaking at the arena for all I care. Some of you have moved on to the cities and new lives. Well.. good for you! Silken hasnt seen some of you in a Mun year so... deal with it. Yes.. Mun life takes precidence... I fully understand.. but I wont sit here and play that your around when your not.)
Maybe Ash found He was needed in the outer wagons... maybe His skills as a Smith were required... either way... He has been gone and I deal with it as I always do. I move on. If He comes back.. great. I'd love to chat... see what he's been up to... but... I know that things have changed. I have changed. I know what I once felt for Him is.. gone. Yes.. I love Him.. but I am no longer IN love with Him. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder... it makes the heart grow protective and cold. Black. Think I'd be used to this by now. Shit.. far from it. Still hurts to be claimed.. turned into a trophy and left on the shelf to collect dust. Well.. this time.. I wont stand for it. Im moving on.. without words.. without whining.. and without answers. Ask me what you want... I'll answer to the best of my abilities. Honest and up front. So... I just gave up on Ash? Uhmmm... I dont think I was the one that.. gave up. Im still here.. arent I?
Now that my small bitch fest is over... I can return to concentrating on my life. Ive sent word to Aunt.. I want my kids back. I want the younger kids home.. with me. Dakota and Shanay are on their own. Grown into thriving adults. I see them now and then when they come to visit. Wily and Talia are young adults...24 and 22 years old... living life and finding new things among the people. They too stop by between their busy lives. Star... and the twins.. Sonny and Mia are almost young adults... 19 and 16. They still have their studies and training.. but more or less are on their own. Vee and Ess turned 12... I heard they are working hard in their chosen caste's.. which.. makes me proud. Bull is 8 and Taeleah is 5 now. They still live with me.. so.. having a few of the other's that wish to return would just be an added bonus.
If they decide not to return.. I am fine with that also. I know they love me. I know I love them. But.. I will wait anyway.. to see who does come back... Children and Tuchuk alike.
It's getting interesting.....
Monday, May 23, 2011
Page 557 ~ Listing to one side
I woke up feeling.. energized. Uht oh. Silken? With energy? Yikes! Someone warn the Outriders.. hide the children and run for your lives!!! heh. Nahhhhh... Im not.. that bad... am I?? ::grins with a snort::
Ok.. so I will admit that when Im torqued up... things tend to go bad.. for me. But I cant help it.. Im a victim of circumstance. Besides... isnt it good to feel good? for once?
I think so.
So... I greeted the day with a big ole stretch from the wagon platform and a nice big bowl of blackwine. While leaning on the railing... just watching the camp rise and shine for their day... I looked over to my new neighbor's wagon and found a pair of eyes staring back. "Uhhhh Morning Krono" I said.. kinda shyly... He nodded with that lopsided grin and I turned around to find... something.. else?? to look at. I heard the chuckle He let out.. and that threw my cheeks into flaming fire. Damn. Casually... I headed back into my wagon and stood at the door for a few Ehn... then peeked back out to see if He was there. Nope! Ahhhh good. Proceeding down my steps and over to my fire... I started some breakfast for the kids. I heard the chuckling once more.. and looked over my shoulder to see Krono walking by once more. "Smell's good" He said and that blush returned. "Thanks... hungry?" I said to Him and He nodded. " I could eat" So...I fixed Him a plate and then took off to tend to some things. By the time I returned.. He was gone. Bull and Taeleah told me He said thanks and that He would see me later. I had work to do in the Nightmare... potions and salve's that needed to be jarred and then put into the supply wagon. I sent the kids off to study and wound my way to the Nightmare. Once inside I finished my morning duties and chores and found nothing else to occupy my time by mid-day.
So... I sat there and checked a few things in my medical journal's and suddenly found myself.. doodling. Now... I can't draw to save my life. Stick figures yeah... but.. draw?? No. tanya was always good for that. she could draw something that was like real life. But me? uht un. I have no idea where the symbol's came from.. or what they meant.. but here they were... on my paper.. and I was clueless. I tore the page from my book and tucked it into a pocket. Wasnt sure who I would ask... or if I even would. Sometimes.. I just confused myself.
I found myself wandering down by the stream... always reaching back to make sure that lil piece of paper was still in my pocket. For some reason... it made me itself very known that it was there. It felt warm in my pocket... and .. foreign at times. More and more... I became curious as to what was on it. And finally... I couldnt stand it anymore. I sat beside the water and took out the paper .. studied it.. and studied it.. turning my head side to side... leaning to one side ... hoping something would make sense. It didnt. Nothing did.
I crumpled up the paper.. and was about to toss it into the stream... when I heard...
"Stop"
I was almost afraid to turn around.......
Ok.. so I will admit that when Im torqued up... things tend to go bad.. for me. But I cant help it.. Im a victim of circumstance. Besides... isnt it good to feel good? for once?
I think so.
So... I greeted the day with a big ole stretch from the wagon platform and a nice big bowl of blackwine. While leaning on the railing... just watching the camp rise and shine for their day... I looked over to my new neighbor's wagon and found a pair of eyes staring back. "Uhhhh Morning Krono" I said.. kinda shyly... He nodded with that lopsided grin and I turned around to find... something.. else?? to look at. I heard the chuckle He let out.. and that threw my cheeks into flaming fire. Damn. Casually... I headed back into my wagon and stood at the door for a few Ehn... then peeked back out to see if He was there. Nope! Ahhhh good. Proceeding down my steps and over to my fire... I started some breakfast for the kids. I heard the chuckling once more.. and looked over my shoulder to see Krono walking by once more. "Smell's good" He said and that blush returned. "Thanks... hungry?" I said to Him and He nodded. " I could eat" So...I fixed Him a plate and then took off to tend to some things. By the time I returned.. He was gone. Bull and Taeleah told me He said thanks and that He would see me later. I had work to do in the Nightmare... potions and salve's that needed to be jarred and then put into the supply wagon. I sent the kids off to study and wound my way to the Nightmare. Once inside I finished my morning duties and chores and found nothing else to occupy my time by mid-day.
So... I sat there and checked a few things in my medical journal's and suddenly found myself.. doodling. Now... I can't draw to save my life. Stick figures yeah... but.. draw?? No. tanya was always good for that. she could draw something that was like real life. But me? uht un. I have no idea where the symbol's came from.. or what they meant.. but here they were... on my paper.. and I was clueless. I tore the page from my book and tucked it into a pocket. Wasnt sure who I would ask... or if I even would. Sometimes.. I just confused myself.
I found myself wandering down by the stream... always reaching back to make sure that lil piece of paper was still in my pocket. For some reason... it made me itself very known that it was there. It felt warm in my pocket... and .. foreign at times. More and more... I became curious as to what was on it. And finally... I couldnt stand it anymore. I sat beside the water and took out the paper .. studied it.. and studied it.. turning my head side to side... leaning to one side ... hoping something would make sense. It didnt. Nothing did.
I crumpled up the paper.. and was about to toss it into the stream... when I heard...
"Stop"
I was almost afraid to turn around.......
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Page 556 ~ Welcome wagon
Morning comes quickly around here. Its the time of year when the light breaks early.. and sets late in the day. I love it.
I set out this day with a basket of honey rolls and fresh bread and made my way to Krono's wagon. I knocked... but either He was sleeping or already out for the day. I left the basket on His platform near the door for when He returned. Just about ready to leave.. was when I heard the familar whistle of a tune. As it grew closer.. I peered about the side of the wagon and around came a slave. A familar slave... MY slave. tanya. We were both surprised to see each other in the same place and I inquired of her. she knelt and told me of how she had been with the Masks for awhile.. which is good. I had sent her there to help them. I really wasnt overly surprised to find her here.. but wondered how she came to be at this spot. she said she was told she was needed so.. she came. I nodded. Now.. I should say that tanya hasnt technically been "my" slave for a long time. I had given her to the masks... she is not the type of girl to be owned by a Woman.. and she simply thrives with Men. We will always have a bond.. her and I.. and she still refers to me as her owner. Which.. humbles me. But today.. she informed me that.. Krono had an interest in her. I nodded... "Your a beautiful creature.. tanya. It doesnt surprise me" she smiled to me... "Your not upset with me?" she asked.. and I shook my head. "No girl.. Im pleased you have found one to care for you" I smiled to her... sorta. "Tell Krono.. He has my permission.. not that He needs it... but I know you want it." I said. she rose slowly and hugged me. I gave her back a pat and nodded. "It'll be good to see you around more often now" I said and she nodded. "I missed you.. Mistress" she whispered. "And I.. you.. tanya." I said and turned to walk back to my wagon. I couldnt help but chuckle with my steps... it was humorous how things re-newed... revived.. and how life finds a way to come full circle.
Full Circle.
It wasnt as bad as I thought all those years.
And....
I think Krono's will like His welcome wagon gifts....
Especially... the slave.
I set out this day with a basket of honey rolls and fresh bread and made my way to Krono's wagon. I knocked... but either He was sleeping or already out for the day. I left the basket on His platform near the door for when He returned. Just about ready to leave.. was when I heard the familar whistle of a tune. As it grew closer.. I peered about the side of the wagon and around came a slave. A familar slave... MY slave. tanya. We were both surprised to see each other in the same place and I inquired of her. she knelt and told me of how she had been with the Masks for awhile.. which is good. I had sent her there to help them. I really wasnt overly surprised to find her here.. but wondered how she came to be at this spot. she said she was told she was needed so.. she came. I nodded. Now.. I should say that tanya hasnt technically been "my" slave for a long time. I had given her to the masks... she is not the type of girl to be owned by a Woman.. and she simply thrives with Men. We will always have a bond.. her and I.. and she still refers to me as her owner. Which.. humbles me. But today.. she informed me that.. Krono had an interest in her. I nodded... "Your a beautiful creature.. tanya. It doesnt surprise me" she smiled to me... "Your not upset with me?" she asked.. and I shook my head. "No girl.. Im pleased you have found one to care for you" I smiled to her... sorta. "Tell Krono.. He has my permission.. not that He needs it... but I know you want it." I said. she rose slowly and hugged me. I gave her back a pat and nodded. "It'll be good to see you around more often now" I said and she nodded. "I missed you.. Mistress" she whispered. "And I.. you.. tanya." I said and turned to walk back to my wagon. I couldnt help but chuckle with my steps... it was humorous how things re-newed... revived.. and how life finds a way to come full circle.
Full Circle.
It wasnt as bad as I thought all those years.
And....
I think Krono's will like His welcome wagon gifts....
Especially... the slave.
Page 555 ~ Tackled
The next few days passed wonderfully. My fishing trip with Krono was alot of fun. When I woke that morning.. I grabbed my tackle and pole and snuck out the door of the wagon so as not to wake Bull and Tae. Wasnt I surprised when I crept down the steps and there standing at the bottom was both the little grinner's. They each had their poles and were bouncing around singing and well wagering who was "Gonna git the mostest fish" How could I resist??? I met up with Krono and first asked if He minded the youngin's tagging along. "Course not" He said and we left for the river. I set the kids up down river from us.. so they could splash and make as much as they wanted without endangering my chances for dinner. If anything.. I hoped they would scare the fishies up my way. It wasnt long into our excursion when the question was asked.... "Care to wager Silken??" Krono asked.. with a sly grin. "I am Tuchuk... DUH" I responded and we both laughed. We set the terms... If I caught the most fish... He owed me a new kaiila... and I wanted that big black spirited one that knocked me on my ass months ago. Agreed. I asked for His wager.. and He surprised me by requesting a nice.. cooked meal and dinner company. I tried not to look too eager to accept. I was after all a fantastic cook and could chew anyone's ear off with my tales... but eventually.. I accepted. We baited the hooks and began fishing.
By midday... Krono was up 7 to 5. I tried everything to catch up just shy of diving in and grabbing the slippery suckers. I shook my head.. I knew what my problem was... I didnt have any "magic worms". My lil Wily Man had always given me "Magic worms" to fish with. I never asked... perhaps I never wanted to know just what made them so special... but my catch today was certainly impeeded without them. I got to thinking about my kids... missing them.. wondering how they were fairing with Aunt and my family in the outer wagons. I knew I had to let them go.. I was unable to tend to them all by myself with all my duties plus new one's. But my day dream was short lived. Krono got another one.. a big whopper of a fish too! It was 8 to 5 now.. His favor.. and His lead only got better as time went on. Bull and Tae had grown tired of fishing... having run off to play back at the wagons.. and it was now getting late. I looked to Krono's stringer of fish.. filled no less... and my meager 5 that had remained all day and shook my head. I really needed that kaiila... but.. I had to now gracefully admit defeat. "Give up?" He said... smirking at me so badly I wanted to slap the lips right off His face. "You win" I spoke softly... and began to pack the poles and tackle. He chuckled and just for spite.. I swear it... He yanked in another fish. Grumbling... I took my stringer and started to walk back towards my wagon. Krono caught up to me.. struting like a proud larl.. and announced... "What's for dinner??" I just short of glared at Him.. then smirked... "Fish" I said.. then mumbled a silent "dumbass". he laughed and nodded... "MMMMmmm sounds yummy" He said... Bah.
Back at my wagon.. I started the smaller fire pit with the skillet while Krono cleaned the fish. Soon they were cooking in butter and frankly smelled rather wonderful with the spices I used. I let the kids eat first.. then finished up Krono's winning dinner and served Him outside at the small dinner table. I ate very little... while He ate everything. I could tell He had not had a home cooked meal in a long time. It felt good to cook for someone that appriciated it and said so.. over.. and over.. and over.
With dinner done... I cleaned up and made some blackwine. We sat at the table.. just talking about things. He informed me that He had brought up His wagon to the circle where I had directed Him. Over the past few months.. I had found Him to be worthy of the first fires.. and since I had the power to do so... I granted Him a welcome to the "circle of trust" among us. He asked about our kaiila pen.. and I told Him that Cana was the one to see... but I had not seen Her in a very long time. He nodded and I told Him... just go there and start work. Tuchuk needed kaiila... and He was qualified to handle them so... He got the job. One down... umpteen to go. We needed more Smith's... hunter's.. gather'ers.. scouts... weapon's trainers... and a whole gammet of Womanly jobs too. I sighed.. knowing my search for more people from the outer wagons was in store.... but.. at least.. I wouldnt be idle.
Krono and I spoke well into the night again... both children had fallen asleep on either side of me and I wiggled free to lift that big ole Bull into my arms. Krono smiled as I paraded back and forth into the wagon.. gathering Tae next and then tucking each one in with a kiss. When I sat back down... I was already exhausted. He looked at me from over the rim of His mug and I could see that smirk. "What?!" I asked. And He just shook His head. "Nothing... but your very good with them." He said. "Ive had tons of practice" I said.. He just chuckled and finished His blackwine. I watched the fire for a bit... and He stood up with a stretch. "Thank you for the meal" He said. I nodded. "You earned it... sleep well" I said. "And you as well Silken" He said. He turned and headed towards His wagon... leaving me once more alone at my fires. I sighed and began to clean up and douse the fire for the night.
Climbing into my furs... my two smallest kids not far from me.. I sighed again and curled up.
I had much to do tomorrow....
but at least I had something TO do.
By midday... Krono was up 7 to 5. I tried everything to catch up just shy of diving in and grabbing the slippery suckers. I shook my head.. I knew what my problem was... I didnt have any "magic worms". My lil Wily Man had always given me "Magic worms" to fish with. I never asked... perhaps I never wanted to know just what made them so special... but my catch today was certainly impeeded without them. I got to thinking about my kids... missing them.. wondering how they were fairing with Aunt and my family in the outer wagons. I knew I had to let them go.. I was unable to tend to them all by myself with all my duties plus new one's. But my day dream was short lived. Krono got another one.. a big whopper of a fish too! It was 8 to 5 now.. His favor.. and His lead only got better as time went on. Bull and Tae had grown tired of fishing... having run off to play back at the wagons.. and it was now getting late. I looked to Krono's stringer of fish.. filled no less... and my meager 5 that had remained all day and shook my head. I really needed that kaiila... but.. I had to now gracefully admit defeat. "Give up?" He said... smirking at me so badly I wanted to slap the lips right off His face. "You win" I spoke softly... and began to pack the poles and tackle. He chuckled and just for spite.. I swear it... He yanked in another fish. Grumbling... I took my stringer and started to walk back towards my wagon. Krono caught up to me.. struting like a proud larl.. and announced... "What's for dinner??" I just short of glared at Him.. then smirked... "Fish" I said.. then mumbled a silent "dumbass". he laughed and nodded... "MMMMmmm sounds yummy" He said... Bah.
Back at my wagon.. I started the smaller fire pit with the skillet while Krono cleaned the fish. Soon they were cooking in butter and frankly smelled rather wonderful with the spices I used. I let the kids eat first.. then finished up Krono's winning dinner and served Him outside at the small dinner table. I ate very little... while He ate everything. I could tell He had not had a home cooked meal in a long time. It felt good to cook for someone that appriciated it and said so.. over.. and over.. and over.
With dinner done... I cleaned up and made some blackwine. We sat at the table.. just talking about things. He informed me that He had brought up His wagon to the circle where I had directed Him. Over the past few months.. I had found Him to be worthy of the first fires.. and since I had the power to do so... I granted Him a welcome to the "circle of trust" among us. He asked about our kaiila pen.. and I told Him that Cana was the one to see... but I had not seen Her in a very long time. He nodded and I told Him... just go there and start work. Tuchuk needed kaiila... and He was qualified to handle them so... He got the job. One down... umpteen to go. We needed more Smith's... hunter's.. gather'ers.. scouts... weapon's trainers... and a whole gammet of Womanly jobs too. I sighed.. knowing my search for more people from the outer wagons was in store.... but.. at least.. I wouldnt be idle.
Krono and I spoke well into the night again... both children had fallen asleep on either side of me and I wiggled free to lift that big ole Bull into my arms. Krono smiled as I paraded back and forth into the wagon.. gathering Tae next and then tucking each one in with a kiss. When I sat back down... I was already exhausted. He looked at me from over the rim of His mug and I could see that smirk. "What?!" I asked. And He just shook His head. "Nothing... but your very good with them." He said. "Ive had tons of practice" I said.. He just chuckled and finished His blackwine. I watched the fire for a bit... and He stood up with a stretch. "Thank you for the meal" He said. I nodded. "You earned it... sleep well" I said. "And you as well Silken" He said. He turned and headed towards His wagon... leaving me once more alone at my fires. I sighed and began to clean up and douse the fire for the night.
Climbing into my furs... my two smallest kids not far from me.. I sighed again and curled up.
I had much to do tomorrow....
but at least I had something TO do.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Page 554 ~ Bringing in the Tuchuk
It has been a long long time since those of the first fires have gathered. Be it as it may... they have ventured out to the outer wagon's perhaps... visiting family and friends.. and some have even moved on from the plains. I see Ramza the most. Sev now and then... but the rest are simply memories. Even Ash has disappeared from the fires. Now... this isnt to say they arent Tuchuk anymore... it just means that other things occupy their time. I understand this... and this is how I have survived all the years I have been here.
But... it is also no fun to sit at the main fires and talk to yourself. I can pretend all I want that people are there... but again.. no fun playing by yourself. So... I did what any Tuchuk would do.... Several weeks ago... I went to the outer wagons and recruited new blood. I found a worthy Woman and a Male. The Woman is Older, not your spring vulo.. She has weathered years here and lost mates to war and battle. She is a talented woman, mainly working with fabrics and hides to design clothing and pretty much "Anything you want" as she put it. Her name is Delia. I invited Her to come to the main fires and help with things that needed to be done. She was hesitant... and in a bit of a hurry in her day... but said She would consider it. I continued on my journey and came across the kaiila pens. I had yet to replace my "Red" after the fire... so... I jumped up on a railing and looked at the beasts. A rather wild black beast came charging from the stable and right towards me. I couldnt get off the post fast enough and when the beast threw His back quarter into the fencing.. I went flying. A few mutter curses later... I was about to dust myself off when I was picked up and set to my feet. When I looked up.. I was staring into the most brilliant of blue eyes. "You ok?" the man said. But still I stared.. and finally after He waved a hand in front of my face.. I blinked. "Uhhh.. ohhhh yes.. yes.. quite fine... and Tal!" We went through the usual greetings and introductions and I walked with Him for a time. His name was Krono.. and He was a kaiila breeder. I nodded.. and given my desire for a new beast.. I inquired of His services. He said we would speak.. and that when I invited Him as well to the first fires. Gotta start somewhere.... right?
A few days after my visit... Krono arrived to the main fires. I was happy to see Him.. happy to have someone to speak to. I was alittle on edge.. what with the dreams Ive been having of the "Man in Black" again. Those vivid.. so surreal dreams.. I swear they are real. When Krono sat to the furs.. I studied Him.. as I do almost everyone... and found a striking resemblance to the man in my dream. Maybe it was just the new face in my mind to think about... but I did wonder why I had Him saying.. "He wanted what was His" I shrugged it off... dreams were just the unconscious ramblings of the mind.. I had no control over them... so I rarely put any thought into them. I fixed Krono some food and drink and we talked well into the early Ahn's of the next day. Skies... that felt good. To have someone interested in what you said and to have someone talk back ! In the days that passed and our visits becomming more and more habitual... Krono's finally asked the question that I had been avoiding.... "Where was the Ubar?? And why had He not shown up in all these hands" I had no answer.. other than He was busy. "Too busy for you too.. so it seems" He said, and I just shrugged. "I have my own life and my own duties" I said... then turned the conversation over to food. Krono's smiled a crooked smile and just chuckled.
We made a date to go fishing the next day... and I welcomed it. I needed some time away and my patient load was small.... so... I readied my tackle the night before and headed off to get some sleep.
I feel a wager coming on.....
But... it is also no fun to sit at the main fires and talk to yourself. I can pretend all I want that people are there... but again.. no fun playing by yourself. So... I did what any Tuchuk would do.... Several weeks ago... I went to the outer wagons and recruited new blood. I found a worthy Woman and a Male. The Woman is Older, not your spring vulo.. She has weathered years here and lost mates to war and battle. She is a talented woman, mainly working with fabrics and hides to design clothing and pretty much "Anything you want" as she put it. Her name is Delia. I invited Her to come to the main fires and help with things that needed to be done. She was hesitant... and in a bit of a hurry in her day... but said She would consider it. I continued on my journey and came across the kaiila pens. I had yet to replace my "Red" after the fire... so... I jumped up on a railing and looked at the beasts. A rather wild black beast came charging from the stable and right towards me. I couldnt get off the post fast enough and when the beast threw His back quarter into the fencing.. I went flying. A few mutter curses later... I was about to dust myself off when I was picked up and set to my feet. When I looked up.. I was staring into the most brilliant of blue eyes. "You ok?" the man said. But still I stared.. and finally after He waved a hand in front of my face.. I blinked. "Uhhh.. ohhhh yes.. yes.. quite fine... and Tal!" We went through the usual greetings and introductions and I walked with Him for a time. His name was Krono.. and He was a kaiila breeder. I nodded.. and given my desire for a new beast.. I inquired of His services. He said we would speak.. and that when I invited Him as well to the first fires. Gotta start somewhere.... right?
A few days after my visit... Krono arrived to the main fires. I was happy to see Him.. happy to have someone to speak to. I was alittle on edge.. what with the dreams Ive been having of the "Man in Black" again. Those vivid.. so surreal dreams.. I swear they are real. When Krono sat to the furs.. I studied Him.. as I do almost everyone... and found a striking resemblance to the man in my dream. Maybe it was just the new face in my mind to think about... but I did wonder why I had Him saying.. "He wanted what was His" I shrugged it off... dreams were just the unconscious ramblings of the mind.. I had no control over them... so I rarely put any thought into them. I fixed Krono some food and drink and we talked well into the early Ahn's of the next day. Skies... that felt good. To have someone interested in what you said and to have someone talk back ! In the days that passed and our visits becomming more and more habitual... Krono's finally asked the question that I had been avoiding.... "Where was the Ubar?? And why had He not shown up in all these hands" I had no answer.. other than He was busy. "Too busy for you too.. so it seems" He said, and I just shrugged. "I have my own life and my own duties" I said... then turned the conversation over to food. Krono's smiled a crooked smile and just chuckled.
We made a date to go fishing the next day... and I welcomed it. I needed some time away and my patient load was small.... so... I readied my tackle the night before and headed off to get some sleep.
I feel a wager coming on.....
Monday, May 16, 2011
Page 553 ~ Darkness falls....
I think too much. I dwell.. ponder and just analize wayyyy to much. Guess that's what one does when they have alot of time on their hands. I decided to write in this old journal again. Maybe expressing the crazy thoughts inside here, might help. Ash has been off doing whatever Men do... and Ive just been hanging around the Harigga. It's been quiet... too quiet infact. So... I decided I might just take a trip to Turia... ya know.. just to see what's around. I made it as far as the gates... then turned back around. I cant stand walls... and I cant stand being stared at by the Men of that city. I knew I shouldnt have gone in the first place... but you see... I had too. There was something pulling me there.. something in my dreams that just spelled it out. Ok.. so.. I went.... now those voices can shut the fuck up. But... they only got worse.
I returned to the Harigga and settled down at the main fires. It was strange not to have my small tribe of red-headed Tuchuks around. They had journied off to be with Aunt for sometime now. I only have Bull and Taeleah around. Skies.. kids grow so quickly. I knew they would not be needing me someday... I just didnt expect to have them leave as they did. Its just... weird to me... to be alone with ... me.
So to say the excitement that followed... surprised me... nah. Outriders came running and riding.. reporting of a Man in all black... on black kaiila that eluded them with every turn. He knew the way they rode.. He knew the tactic's.. and could not be captured. So... I rode out to see for myself... Jax in tow. Eventually.. we caught up to this dark figure and Jax tried to speak with Him. The Man kept repeating "Ive come back to take what is mine". And He smiled at me. I was speachless. I did not know Him... I never saw Him before... so I chalked it up to simple arrogance. But... suddenly.. He began to talk of Jax. Speaking of things that only a handfull of peole knew. Dumbfounded and baffled.. the Man disappeared again... and we rode back to the wagons. Jax was silent.. tho I prodded for information.. He just ignored me. Suddenly... a slave came running in and handed me a rose. she said it was from a large Man.. dressed in all black.. with piercing blue eyes and He came out of the large paga wagon down yonder. I knew which wagon she referred to... it was Jerus' and it had been locked since He died. There were only two keys. One that His family had... and I had the other one. Again I heard... "Ive come back for what is mine" I looked to Jax... then the flower... and I shivered. "I guess we know what He wants.... now" I said. Was this some sick joke? There was only one Man that knew my favorite flower... and only one Man that always gave them to me... and He was dead.
So... who is this Man? And....
How does He know my secrets?
I returned to the Harigga and settled down at the main fires. It was strange not to have my small tribe of red-headed Tuchuks around. They had journied off to be with Aunt for sometime now. I only have Bull and Taeleah around. Skies.. kids grow so quickly. I knew they would not be needing me someday... I just didnt expect to have them leave as they did. Its just... weird to me... to be alone with ... me.
So to say the excitement that followed... surprised me... nah. Outriders came running and riding.. reporting of a Man in all black... on black kaiila that eluded them with every turn. He knew the way they rode.. He knew the tactic's.. and could not be captured. So... I rode out to see for myself... Jax in tow. Eventually.. we caught up to this dark figure and Jax tried to speak with Him. The Man kept repeating "Ive come back to take what is mine". And He smiled at me. I was speachless. I did not know Him... I never saw Him before... so I chalked it up to simple arrogance. But... suddenly.. He began to talk of Jax. Speaking of things that only a handfull of peole knew. Dumbfounded and baffled.. the Man disappeared again... and we rode back to the wagons. Jax was silent.. tho I prodded for information.. He just ignored me. Suddenly... a slave came running in and handed me a rose. she said it was from a large Man.. dressed in all black.. with piercing blue eyes and He came out of the large paga wagon down yonder. I knew which wagon she referred to... it was Jerus' and it had been locked since He died. There were only two keys. One that His family had... and I had the other one. Again I heard... "Ive come back for what is mine" I looked to Jax... then the flower... and I shivered. "I guess we know what He wants.... now" I said. Was this some sick joke? There was only one Man that knew my favorite flower... and only one Man that always gave them to me... and He was dead.
So... who is this Man? And....
How does He know my secrets?
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