.... Ok so this is more on a Mun level than Gorean. Sometimes this realm gets to ya and Ya need a reality check. JerusMun gave me an assignment... why? Cause Im down right crazy and when I get idle .. bad things happen. hee hee. His homework was... to write a 100 line poem about The "Temptations" and their music. At first, I pouted, complained and whined. But there is no worming your way out when His Mun gives an order, right? right! So.. for your viewing enjoyment.. I give you the following...
In 1960, an all male group....Came together to form a troop.
Two smaller bands would make a pact...... It’s really true, a well known fact.
The Primes and The Distants, once the names, .... A new tag soon would lead them to fame.
“The Temptations” initially a five man gig, ..... Those boys could really dance a jig.
Otis and Elbridge, Melvin and Kell....... Eddie and Paul did initially well.
Finding success in the great Motor City, ....The songs were catchy and oh so witty.
A girl group counterpart.. A sure fire bet, .... What better a name than the sultry “Primettes.”
Three of those girl’s had such prominate vocals, ..... Woo’in and pleasing all Detroit’s locals.
Diana, Florance and Mary would dream.....Later leaving the ‘Etts to form the “Supreames.”
The "Tempt's" had A handfull of Singles in 62’ ..... Only 1 made it big.. “A Dream Come True.”
In 63’ Elbridge Bryant got in a snit...... No one knows if He was fired or quit.
Bryant attacked Paul Williams, you see. ..... David Ruffin was hired to replace the King B.
Smokey Robinson, the writer/producer joined too, .... And out came the hit “The Way You do the Things You Do.”
The first of series of a career 37 top ten hits. .... The group made Woman cry and shake their… (heh)
In 65’ with their sing-along, signature song.. ... “My Girl” climbed the charts ..they could do no wrong.
A few Top 20 hits that helped them swim in the gravy ....Were “It’s Growing”, “Don’t Look Back” and “My Baby”
In 66’ With another Robinson smash.. ...“Get Ready” rocked and kicked some ass.
Norman Whitfield and Brian Holland.. A short lil troll.. .... Hooked up with Robinson, for some harder edged soul.
Ruffin walked away with “Aint too proud to Beg” ..... Woman went crazy and clung to His leg.
“Beauty’s only Skin Deep” and “I know Im losing You”, ..... Were Ruffins last hits.. He would disappear too.
In 68’.. a live performance He missed. .... Needless to say the other’s were pissed.
The four other ‘”Tempt’s” gave Him the axe .... At least they watched each other’s backs.
Ex-”Contour” Dennis Edwards came..... As the 60’ies closed they were on top of their game.
“Cloud Nine” was the last of the catchy little singles…... As times would change the group was left to mingle
The music became political and veiled…... With drug tones and maddness as some would hail.
“Run away child, running wild” “Psychedelic Shack” .... “Ball of confusion” just wasn’t their knack.
“Just my imagination” came in 71’ ..... A ballad that was loads of fun.
Kendricks left on a solo career, ..... Exiting the group He held so dear.
In 73’ Paul Williams was found dead, .... With a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.
Plagued by alcoholism, personal demons and more,.... How sad it was.. He was only 34.
Recruting tenors, Damon Harris and Richard Street..... It seemed the “Tempt’s” were now back on the beat.
Out came the hit.. That really hit home, .... Don’t you remember.. “Papa was a Rollin Stone” ?
“Masterpiece”, “Let your hair down” and “The Plastic Man” .... Were next on the list, fun for any fan.
Damon Harris, a short member, left them in 75’ .... Replaced by Glenn Lenord, who really could jive.
In 76’ the “Temptations” got down, .... With their last album recorded for Motown.
“The Temptations do the Temptations” was their final, ..... The last time Motown would sell their vinyl???
In 78’ Attempting to reach the disco market was lax .... They tried with the songs.. “Here to tempt you” and “Bare Back”
Edwards left and in came Louis Price.. ... His voice was fair, but not overly nice.
Price would make a hasty retreat..... Edwards came back, now that was neat.
In 80’ the “Tempts” returned to the Motown Stable, ... They couldn’t resist that all famous label.
They scored a hit with the jazzy song “Power” .... Once more their fame was beginning to flower.
In 88’ Otis Williams took a look, .... Published His autobiography to hard cover book.
Into the 90’ies they continued recording.. .... But it started to fall apart with backstage convorting.
Ruffin over dosed on cocaine and died in 91’ .... So sad to see He left a wife and a son.
Kendricks died in October of 92’.... Cancer took Him, there was nothing they could do.
In 95’ Melvin Franklin passed away.. ... He suffered a seizure on a late February day
In 98’ The “Tempts” returned with “Phoenix Rising” .... It wasn’t up to the fan based sizing.
That same year, their story made for TV,..... Was produced and released by the great NBC.
Their final album was made in the following spring. .... “Ear-Resistable” flopped for having no zing.
So there you have it… a bunch of rhymes…... Totalling no more, no less.. Than 100 lines.
~~A work by Amber... 6/14/2006
Heh... :::grins impishly:::
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Page 37 (6/11/2006) Long beautiful hair
So I was having a moment. I just couldnt stand that damn braid in my hair anymore. It was driving me looney. I left the younger kids with Dakota and took off with Shanay to the river. It had been some time since my oldest daughter and I had a chance to talk alone... So off we went. Had a nice meal packed and yes.. even took the detail along. Jerus would have no reason to complain. As we sat near the water, talking about life.. I was surprised to find out that Shanay has a love interest. Though She wouldnt tell me who.. I could tell She was very interested in Him. I have a feeling it is Jax's Son who is about 2 years older than She. Innocent as it is... I decided to do Nay's hair. I brushed the long red curls out and fashioned a beautiful braid, tight to Her head. Fixing some dina's into the weave.. I smiled and She did too as She caught Her reflection in the pool of water nearby. She is gonna be a heartbreaker. I could tell She wanted to run off and show Her new hair style off to this certain young man. As I was brushing out my hair.. She stood and moved behind me.. taking the brush and started to comb it through my hair. Granted.. this was nice.. a bonding moment and all.. but Jerus was the only one that ever took time to help me with this firey mane of mine... to have another Woman's help... well, this was special. Shanay started to seperate strands and with some flipping.. tugging a few pulls.. and hard !! I think She did that on purpose... She finally sighed in completion of a masterpiece. I checked the reflection in the water and gasped at the most lovely site. This young girl had a way with hair... just like me.. She could create fantastic styles with hair.. but on other people... not ourselves. Shanay had added some little blue flowers to my braid and then leaned to down to kiss my cheek and took off with half the detail to visit Her young friend. As for me... I was bosk horn happy and couldnt wait to get back to the wagon and wait for Jerus. Finally!!! My hair could be down.. yet in a braid.
Hope He notices... and likes it.
Hope He notices... and likes it.
Page 36 (6/9/2006) Time off for good behavior
Jerus gathered me and the kids up and off we went for a family outing. He had a talk with Dakota and Wily.. those two just seem to lock horns at every waking moment lately. It would seem that Wily wont be streaking round nekkid anymore... but Im sure Kota will have the lil bugger doing something else interesting very soon. It was only a few nights ago when Kota blew up at Jerus and I... The teenage years are hard I guess. Tarra says that the boy is going through much with hormones and growing pains... I hope She's right cause like I told Him.. I broughtcha inta this world, and I can take ya out just as quick.
Jerus took Dakota and Wily out in the herds today and all returned with smiles and stories that the whole family listened to till the fire dimmed. Shanay and Talia had fun making mud cakes... until Talia decided Her big Sister would look good wearing one. I had to chuckle cause Shanay is such a prim and proper young woman. And the look of disgust on Her face was priceless. But.. She bucked it up and got Talia interested in some beads so She could slip off and clean up. Nay knew that Papa Jerus would be home soon with the boys and She wouldnt have Herself looking like something the bosk drug in. I took the quiet time between Talia and I to watch Her and see just how Jerus and I mix within Her. Both Wily and Tali have that beautiful berry blonde hair... not as firey as Kota and Shanay, but still a hue that couldnt be created with paints if one tried. It makes me see more of Jerus in Her as the blonde shines through in the heat of the sunlight. When She's thinking.. She gets the same expression of concentration that Jerus does. I can see the gears turning and always thinking those 2 or 3 steps ahead. Yeah.. She is gonna be as terrible as Her Papa. I dont think there will be a brides price for this Tuchuk Girl.. if the Warrior can get past Her defenses and Jerus' wit and my attitude that brew within Her.. He should have Her.
It makes me think of the next to be born. Jerus knows Im pregnant again. I am letting Him think I dont believe Him. Actually.. I adore the teasing He gives me cause I didnt plan on this one.. He did. He should be a time-keeper cause He knows me and my body better than I do. He says it's another girl. Im trying not to think about it... something doesnt want to dwell on details this time. I just want to sit back and enjoy this. So far, I havent been sick, but Ive been drinking Tarra's tea's every morning faithfully. While I still dont have an appitite.. Jerus takes care of that when He comes home... and not just my appitite for food. Cant help it.. the Man just makes my blood boil. I pretend to be sleeping.. and once He curls up beside me.. a few measured moves and wiggles of the hips and Ive got Him. There nothing like a night of passion to the point of you both passing out from the pleasure. And I must admit.. Ive finally found a Man with the same insatiable appitite for lovin as me. Makes me believe that His prediction for 50+ children will not be as hard a quota as I once thought. Im gonna enjoy every moment trying... that's for sure. There arent words to describe the feelings.. the emotions. There isnt a word to do it justice. The word Love.. isnt enough. It's a feeling... take the best moment in your life when you laughed.. hiccuped.. cried.. shook.. tensed.. trembled.. feared.. all in one instant. That's what we have. I cant be away from Him... I need Him. Im obsessed with Him and the power He has over me... even when I fight it.. it just stirs deeper within me and I have to give in to Him. It's not even my doing anymore. He controls everything about me. He could say.. dont breathe and I wouldnt.. I think I'd pass out if He wanted it. I'd die for Him and He for me. I realize all this now... I know I love Him more than my life. This littlehawk is finally free.
Jerus... Mine forever... my heart.... my lover... I love you!!!!!
Jerus took Dakota and Wily out in the herds today and all returned with smiles and stories that the whole family listened to till the fire dimmed. Shanay and Talia had fun making mud cakes... until Talia decided Her big Sister would look good wearing one. I had to chuckle cause Shanay is such a prim and proper young woman. And the look of disgust on Her face was priceless. But.. She bucked it up and got Talia interested in some beads so She could slip off and clean up. Nay knew that Papa Jerus would be home soon with the boys and She wouldnt have Herself looking like something the bosk drug in. I took the quiet time between Talia and I to watch Her and see just how Jerus and I mix within Her. Both Wily and Tali have that beautiful berry blonde hair... not as firey as Kota and Shanay, but still a hue that couldnt be created with paints if one tried. It makes me see more of Jerus in Her as the blonde shines through in the heat of the sunlight. When She's thinking.. She gets the same expression of concentration that Jerus does. I can see the gears turning and always thinking those 2 or 3 steps ahead. Yeah.. She is gonna be as terrible as Her Papa. I dont think there will be a brides price for this Tuchuk Girl.. if the Warrior can get past Her defenses and Jerus' wit and my attitude that brew within Her.. He should have Her.
It makes me think of the next to be born. Jerus knows Im pregnant again. I am letting Him think I dont believe Him. Actually.. I adore the teasing He gives me cause I didnt plan on this one.. He did. He should be a time-keeper cause He knows me and my body better than I do. He says it's another girl. Im trying not to think about it... something doesnt want to dwell on details this time. I just want to sit back and enjoy this. So far, I havent been sick, but Ive been drinking Tarra's tea's every morning faithfully. While I still dont have an appitite.. Jerus takes care of that when He comes home... and not just my appitite for food. Cant help it.. the Man just makes my blood boil. I pretend to be sleeping.. and once He curls up beside me.. a few measured moves and wiggles of the hips and Ive got Him. There nothing like a night of passion to the point of you both passing out from the pleasure. And I must admit.. Ive finally found a Man with the same insatiable appitite for lovin as me. Makes me believe that His prediction for 50+ children will not be as hard a quota as I once thought. Im gonna enjoy every moment trying... that's for sure. There arent words to describe the feelings.. the emotions. There isnt a word to do it justice. The word Love.. isnt enough. It's a feeling... take the best moment in your life when you laughed.. hiccuped.. cried.. shook.. tensed.. trembled.. feared.. all in one instant. That's what we have. I cant be away from Him... I need Him. Im obsessed with Him and the power He has over me... even when I fight it.. it just stirs deeper within me and I have to give in to Him. It's not even my doing anymore. He controls everything about me. He could say.. dont breathe and I wouldnt.. I think I'd pass out if He wanted it. I'd die for Him and He for me. I realize all this now... I know I love Him more than my life. This littlehawk is finally free.
Jerus... Mine forever... my heart.... my lover... I love you!!!!!
Page 35 (6/1/2006) Guilty Pleasures
The wagon shook violently, the canvas was rolling in a wind that seemed to lap at it mercilessly. I could feel the wheels being picked up.. first only a few horts.. then more. Each time the bounce it took got bigger... longer and more forcefull. It made me wince anticipating the slamming back to the earth. Then it happened... the wagon lifted up high.. wobbled and I grabbed my ears and waited for the worst of the pummeling to the ground. 1 Ihn.. then 2... 4... 10.. nothing. Another Ehn passed before I removed my hands from my ears. The flapping of the canvas had stopped... the shaking.. the creaking of wood... nothing.. just an errie calmness. I stood slowly and looked around at the wagon in disarray. Straightening a few strands of hair back... I moved to the back flaps and feeling some sort of hesitation.. I threw them back and gasped. Clouds swirled around me in twisted ribbons of grey, black and white. Stepping out onto the platform.. I could only look down at what seemed to passang after passang of just air between me and the ground. As the wagon twisted in this vortex of gloom.. I looked out straight and low and behold rode Dashie on a trench shovel. She zoomed and zigged.. zagged and darted about the clouds like a tarn in the breeze. Her hair flew wildly in the air and I swear She had daggers for fingernails. She flew towards the wagon.. cackling like a old witch casting a spell and slammed into the wagon.. knocking it from it's embrace of wind. I dove back into the wagon as it started to desend from the winds...crawling onto the furs and curling up with what should surely be my doom when the vehicle crashed to the earth. Then it happened... not a crash.. but a bump.. followed by a bit of see-sawing and the wagon was still again. I got up and walked to the flaps again.. peeking out slowly to my surprise where I saw the tallest.. greenest grasses ever ! It was amazing !! I lept from the wagon and started to walk around the wagon when I heard chuckling. I turned every which way, but couldnt find the sources. Then I saw it... A bubble floating towards me.. growing bigger..bigger... until it loomed just before me. With a *Pop* the bubble burst.. and I had to laugh as standing before me was my Sister Tarra in the funniest of get-up's. Robes!! HA !! My Sister in robes... yes they were beautiful... and so was She. She walked towards me and smiled..speaking in such a funny voice. " My Child.. You have come a long long way down from the Skies. And you have brought us freedom from the Wicked Spex of the North. " Tarra pointed to a pair of legs that now stuck out from under the wagon. I looked back to Tarra with lifted brows. " Tarra.. what's with the robes, Sis? And where is everyone... I think I wanna go home." And I nodded a few times but Tarra seemed puzzled. "Home? And where is home?" She asked. "Duh.. the Tuchuk Plains, bonehead. How hard did I hit you the other night?" I heard several small chuckles close by and Tarra smiled. "Come out everyone and see the one that has freed you all from slavery!" Tarra said. The grasses came alive and out popped Shanay, Kota, Wily, Talia... pari..paki.. tanya.. sammie.. lissa.. and jesa. Ok, this is odd, I thought. Yet the chains and collars they bore dropped from their bodies and they started doing the most flamboyant dance Ive ever seen. They grabbed my arms and led me towards this opening in the grass where I noticed the beginning of a cobble stone walkway. They started singing.. " Follow the cobble stone road.. follow the cobble stone rode.. follow.. follow.. " ehhh, crap you get it. When they stopped singing.. Tarra floated over.. damn nice way to travel, I think. She said "Child.. In order to get back to this Tuchuk Plains you call home.. You must venture to the Wonderfull city of Turia and meet the great and powerfull Jerus. Only He can get you home." Damn if those people didnt start singing that annoying song again... "follow.. follow.. follow..." Ack !! I wanted to scream. Now I did wonder what in the hell was wrong with me for even listening to this.. but, I figured.. what the hell.. nothing to do right? So I started skipping.. errr no.. walking.. ahem, like a proud Tuchuk Woman down this road. It went on for Ahn's till I came to a field of wheat grass. A standard stuck in the ground caught my attention.. no, not cause it was the only tall thing there.. but damn, if it was Bo tacked to it. I ran over and poked Him.. He just wobbled like His legs were made out of.. you guessed it.. straw. I cut Him free and He crumpled to the ground... then popped up like a rocket. "Thank you for freeing me Wenchie" Bo said. Normally I woulda clocked Him for this.. but ehhh.. lets see what happened. "Ya welcome" I said. "Where are you off too?" Bo said... and I responded with a " Im off to see the Wonderful Warrior of Turia" Ew.. that was pathetic... but Bo nodded and said.. "Take me with you? I need a brain.. do you think He could help me?" Shit.. I laughed.. "Yeah surreeeeee.. the Wonderful Warrior of Turia can give you a brain.. let's go" "Ohh thank you... Im called ScareBo" He said And I groaned as Bo started skipping and dancing while singing that damn song !!!
Not long after we came upon the shack of what seemed to be a metal smith. Couldnt help but notice the figure of a Man dressed in full war garb. Leather everywhere and upon further inspection I could see the leather had grown so stiff that it restrained the Man from moving. He musta be caught in a sudden down poor and His leather shrunk up tight. I lifted the mask over His face and backed up so quickly I fell on my arse. ScareBo picked me up and I looked at the Man. ScareBo quickly grabbed a bucket of oil and started rubbing the leather till the Man could move. Finally He spoke "I am the TinKam.. thank you for freeing me from my confinement. How can I repay you?" "You could come with us to the Wonderful City of Turia, Im going there for a brain.. and She is going there to see the Great and Powerful Jerus so He could send Her home !!" TinKam asked ScareBo.. "Do you think the Wonderful Warrior of Turia would give me a heart?" "Ohhhh sure ! Why not !" said ScareBo. Yikes.. were these two serious? Kam and Bo now linked arms and started singing... I hate that song now.
As TinKam and ScareBo danced along the cobble stone road.. we came to a jungle. A loud roar was heard and out popped a Man with a larl pelt on His back. He growled and roared and barred His teeth with fingers curled like claws. I nearly died in hysterics as TinKam slapped the Man on the nose. He backed up with a whimper and cried. "Whatcha do that for.." sniffling the Man looked to ScareBo who spoke to Him. "We are going to the great city of Turia where Im going to get a brain.. and He is going to get a heart.. and She is going to go home!" When the larlfurred Man stood up.. I saw it was Shi and snickered. "Lemme guess.. You want courage" I said And the CowardlyShi nodded. "Can I go with you?" Shi said. And the three linked arms and started dancing around me. I wish I had a dagger right now. They started singing.. "Were off to see the Warrior.. the Wonderfull Warrior of Turia....." Skies.. help me
Soon we saw the end of the cobblestone road... and there was Turia.. glistening and gleaming in the light of the day. We all ran to the great doors of the city and entered the gates. I paused as a great kaiila rode towards me. Hells bells if it didnt change color several times as it watched it. A Man saw my expression and joked.. "Why Lady.. that's the kaiila of a different color !" What could I do but just nod and the three put me up on top of the kaiila and we rode to meet the Great and Powerful Jerus.
Within the surrounds of a great mountain.. smoke and mists billowed from the rocks.. we walked towards the alter set within. A booming voice called from the fog that swirled... "Who dares disturb the Great and powerful Jerus !!!" TinKam shook so hard His leathers creaked.. CowardlyShi chit Himself I think and ScareBo just stood there oggling the city girls as they past by. I stepped forward and called.. "Greetings Wonderful Warrior of Turia. I am Silken.. Silkenhawk and I wish to...." My words were cut off as the voice commanded once again.. "I know why your here girl. Kneel before the alter and I will see what I can do to ... errrr for you." There was an evil laugh and I said loudly.. "Bosk chit.. Im outta here !!!" I turned and took off running but was blocked by a large swarm of jit-monkeys. I turned in time to see my three friends being cut down by a large quiva..blood sprayed everywhere... fur.. leather.. straw... I started screaming.. and screaming.. and felt hands tighten on my shoulders.
I woke up.
Jerus was holding my arms... Bo, Kam and Shi were crouched around me... and Tarra was sitting beside me. I looked to them and whispered.... "I had the strangest dream.. You were there.. and you.. and you.. and you ohhh and you too !!" As I pointed to each in succession. Jerus just smiled and pushed the hair back from my face. I lay back down and one by one everyone left... I sighed and closed my eyes.
"There's no place like home......."
Not long after we came upon the shack of what seemed to be a metal smith. Couldnt help but notice the figure of a Man dressed in full war garb. Leather everywhere and upon further inspection I could see the leather had grown so stiff that it restrained the Man from moving. He musta be caught in a sudden down poor and His leather shrunk up tight. I lifted the mask over His face and backed up so quickly I fell on my arse. ScareBo picked me up and I looked at the Man. ScareBo quickly grabbed a bucket of oil and started rubbing the leather till the Man could move. Finally He spoke "I am the TinKam.. thank you for freeing me from my confinement. How can I repay you?" "You could come with us to the Wonderful City of Turia, Im going there for a brain.. and She is going there to see the Great and Powerful Jerus so He could send Her home !!" TinKam asked ScareBo.. "Do you think the Wonderful Warrior of Turia would give me a heart?" "Ohhhh sure ! Why not !" said ScareBo. Yikes.. were these two serious? Kam and Bo now linked arms and started singing... I hate that song now.
As TinKam and ScareBo danced along the cobble stone road.. we came to a jungle. A loud roar was heard and out popped a Man with a larl pelt on His back. He growled and roared and barred His teeth with fingers curled like claws. I nearly died in hysterics as TinKam slapped the Man on the nose. He backed up with a whimper and cried. "Whatcha do that for.." sniffling the Man looked to ScareBo who spoke to Him. "We are going to the great city of Turia where Im going to get a brain.. and He is going to get a heart.. and She is going to go home!" When the larlfurred Man stood up.. I saw it was Shi and snickered. "Lemme guess.. You want courage" I said And the CowardlyShi nodded. "Can I go with you?" Shi said. And the three linked arms and started dancing around me. I wish I had a dagger right now. They started singing.. "Were off to see the Warrior.. the Wonderfull Warrior of Turia....." Skies.. help me
Soon we saw the end of the cobblestone road... and there was Turia.. glistening and gleaming in the light of the day. We all ran to the great doors of the city and entered the gates. I paused as a great kaiila rode towards me. Hells bells if it didnt change color several times as it watched it. A Man saw my expression and joked.. "Why Lady.. that's the kaiila of a different color !" What could I do but just nod and the three put me up on top of the kaiila and we rode to meet the Great and Powerful Jerus.
Within the surrounds of a great mountain.. smoke and mists billowed from the rocks.. we walked towards the alter set within. A booming voice called from the fog that swirled... "Who dares disturb the Great and powerful Jerus !!!" TinKam shook so hard His leathers creaked.. CowardlyShi chit Himself I think and ScareBo just stood there oggling the city girls as they past by. I stepped forward and called.. "Greetings Wonderful Warrior of Turia. I am Silken.. Silkenhawk and I wish to...." My words were cut off as the voice commanded once again.. "I know why your here girl. Kneel before the alter and I will see what I can do to ... errrr for you." There was an evil laugh and I said loudly.. "Bosk chit.. Im outta here !!!" I turned and took off running but was blocked by a large swarm of jit-monkeys. I turned in time to see my three friends being cut down by a large quiva..blood sprayed everywhere... fur.. leather.. straw... I started screaming.. and screaming.. and felt hands tighten on my shoulders.
I woke up.
Jerus was holding my arms... Bo, Kam and Shi were crouched around me... and Tarra was sitting beside me. I looked to them and whispered.... "I had the strangest dream.. You were there.. and you.. and you.. and you ohhh and you too !!" As I pointed to each in succession. Jerus just smiled and pushed the hair back from my face. I lay back down and one by one everyone left... I sighed and closed my eyes.
"There's no place like home......."
Page 34 (5/31/2006) Rhyme and reason
There's a reason for everything.
Jerus came back today. Cant say I was excited.. cause I knew He would eventually find out what happened. Part of me feared His reaction... The whole episode wasnt intended to upset Him or draw attention... maybe that's why I was scaired. As usual He just looked at me with that " Jerus stare ".. it's a stare that only a Free Woman can get from Her Mate. One where they want to wrap their hands around your neck and squeeze till your head pops off.. yet, they want to hug and kiss you because your still alive and in one piece. Jerus said one word... " Well? " And that's when the floodgates opened and I just rambled the story out.. all in one breath I think. He knew that I went with Tarra because I couldnt let Her go alone. But what surprised me most is He was more upset that 1. I used Shanay to carry out the deception. 2. I didnt take the detail.. and the kicker.. 3. I took the wrong kaiila. Here poor Tarra is chained to a wagon with Shi very very upset with Her... and I get a.. you took the wrong kaiila??? Sheshhhh.. I dont get Him. Now remember.. this wasnt done to get His attention.. but I at least expected something other than a slap on the wrist. He had me get some things ready.. and told me I would be going with Him to one of His camps for the night. Easily done since the Twins were gonna babysit the night anyway.
Jerus put me on Toronado and we rode. Not a fast, hard gallop, but a slow gait with lots of time to sit and reflect. He didnt say much.. which... unnerved me greatly. I was afraid to ask Him what He was thinking... but I knew it was about me because His thumb kept brushing over my arm as He held me close. I could feel His chest heave now and then.. not sure if He held back tears... I wasnt going to look.. that would have made me start. I have a bit of a headache.. my eyes couldnt find one thing to focus on.. darting back and forth with each breath He took.. maybe anxious if a hand would find it's way into my braid and He would unleash the anger.. finally. And now this new camp we are going to... was I in trouble and He just didnt tell me because He didnt want me being a brat on the way?? I just didnt know.. that was always the worst.
I saw the campfire coming closer and knew we were almost there. His grip tightened around me... I guess my heart started racing and my breathing grew fast. As He slid from the saddle and helped me down.. He left me alone near the fire, where I now write. I hope He went to get some food. I never should have stopped drinking Paga... cause I dont want anything else. Dehydration makes you tired and cranky.. and Im both. Im starving... but havent had the appetite for days. Im feeling queazy and nautious... I think it's stress. But when Jerus looked at me and asked what was wrong... and I told Him my stomach hurt.. He just smiled at me.. I knew what He was thinking. Not again already?? Couldnt be... could it?
I hear Him talking in the darkness.. to who or what.. Im not sure. I think Im in for an interesting night.
I need you.... ::::was whispered as the book was closed and tucked into the satchel:::
Jerus came back today. Cant say I was excited.. cause I knew He would eventually find out what happened. Part of me feared His reaction... The whole episode wasnt intended to upset Him or draw attention... maybe that's why I was scaired. As usual He just looked at me with that " Jerus stare ".. it's a stare that only a Free Woman can get from Her Mate. One where they want to wrap their hands around your neck and squeeze till your head pops off.. yet, they want to hug and kiss you because your still alive and in one piece. Jerus said one word... " Well? " And that's when the floodgates opened and I just rambled the story out.. all in one breath I think. He knew that I went with Tarra because I couldnt let Her go alone. But what surprised me most is He was more upset that 1. I used Shanay to carry out the deception. 2. I didnt take the detail.. and the kicker.. 3. I took the wrong kaiila. Here poor Tarra is chained to a wagon with Shi very very upset with Her... and I get a.. you took the wrong kaiila??? Sheshhhh.. I dont get Him. Now remember.. this wasnt done to get His attention.. but I at least expected something other than a slap on the wrist. He had me get some things ready.. and told me I would be going with Him to one of His camps for the night. Easily done since the Twins were gonna babysit the night anyway.
Jerus put me on Toronado and we rode. Not a fast, hard gallop, but a slow gait with lots of time to sit and reflect. He didnt say much.. which... unnerved me greatly. I was afraid to ask Him what He was thinking... but I knew it was about me because His thumb kept brushing over my arm as He held me close. I could feel His chest heave now and then.. not sure if He held back tears... I wasnt going to look.. that would have made me start. I have a bit of a headache.. my eyes couldnt find one thing to focus on.. darting back and forth with each breath He took.. maybe anxious if a hand would find it's way into my braid and He would unleash the anger.. finally. And now this new camp we are going to... was I in trouble and He just didnt tell me because He didnt want me being a brat on the way?? I just didnt know.. that was always the worst.
I saw the campfire coming closer and knew we were almost there. His grip tightened around me... I guess my heart started racing and my breathing grew fast. As He slid from the saddle and helped me down.. He left me alone near the fire, where I now write. I hope He went to get some food. I never should have stopped drinking Paga... cause I dont want anything else. Dehydration makes you tired and cranky.. and Im both. Im starving... but havent had the appetite for days. Im feeling queazy and nautious... I think it's stress. But when Jerus looked at me and asked what was wrong... and I told Him my stomach hurt.. He just smiled at me.. I knew what He was thinking. Not again already?? Couldnt be... could it?
I hear Him talking in the darkness.. to who or what.. Im not sure. I think Im in for an interesting night.
I need you.... ::::was whispered as the book was closed and tucked into the satchel:::
Page 33 (5/29/2006) Welcome to the Jungle
Tarra and I returned last night... It wasnt good. I have yet to see Jerus.. seems He is too busy to come to camp... or He heard and just doesnt want to be bothered.
After we left, I was able to find out from Tarra we were going to Schendi. Now.. Ive never been there before, so I was a bit excited.. that is until the Outpost came into view and Tarra went quiet. I dismounted off the kaiila and began to read the tracks, since Tarra said the place should be swarming with Men or at least some that should have ridden out to meet us by now. I saw signs of a scuffle.. a sword fight and though I didnt tell Tarra.. I saw where a young Woman had been drug away. Tarra dismounted off the kaiila and we approached the Post carefully. She spoke to me to stay close and as I turned to look at Her, I felt the wind shift against my back. My quiva was already drawn and I turned to see a rather large.. pissed off Man charging me. Now.. I know I speak a good story.. claiming how I can fight like a Man and all... but deep down, I damn well know I am no match for a Warrior. My quiva was brought up as Jerus had taught me... up and paraelle to the ground, which blocked the initial strike the Man would have wish connected with my head. I dove to the side and rolled, then hopped up into a fighting stance... when I saw the other Man emerge. I know now this one was a Mamba cause Tarra told me so later. She was skilled enough to daze the Mamba with some of the ancient language long enough that She could strike and bring Him down. As the one I fought glanced over.. I swirled my bola and was able to distract Him long enough to draw my daggers which connected into His legs, just above the knee, rendering Him imobile. As He fell to the ground, I hopped into saddle and rode in fast, diving off to drive the quiva through His shoulder and pinning Him to the ground. Now that the Man was still alive.. Jerus would be proud, I hope.. We started to question Him. Tarra went to the Man and started asking Him questions, while I roughly removed my quiva once the Man had been tied and secured. I checked the rest of the area for more.. and thankfully, none were about. As I moved back to Tarra and the Man, She easily had plucked the Man's eye from it's socket without breaking a sweat. Skies.. I love Her... so much like me. So.. as She asked questions... I got to put some of His teeth and torment Him. Finally.. Tarra had what She wanted and slit the Man's throat. We burned both bodies and as I watched the flames devour them, I noticed Tarra had walked to the edge of the Jungle. Following Her.. I paused to see the emotions flow through Her and I knew it was nothing good. A necklace, worn by Her daughter, soaked in blood was in Her hands. We returned to the Post for the night and after talking to Tarra for a bit.. I knew I had to get Her home to Shi. Only He could ease Her griefstricken heart. Course.. Tarra was about to leave and I wasnt about to leave Her.. so.. I thwaped Her on the head with the hilt of my quiva and hoisted Her to the kaiila. Riding all night within my own thoughts of anger and dispair, we made it to the Plains to be met by the Outriders and Shi... who.. was none to happy to see us. Ordered back to camp and to stay put... I searched the riders for any sign of Jerus... and yes.. saddly, He was no where to be seen. I found a wave of jealously rush through me as Shi at least knew Tarra was gone... and though His anger towards my Sister was greater than I expected... I wished someone was there to speak to me. He wasnt. I waited several more Ahn's for Toronado to ride into camp, and when He didnt... I felt the swell of rage grow. Shi and I got into a battle of words... How could He treat Tarra so horribly, when Her daughter was dead??? He was cold ... and I couldnt believe the words that came from His mouth... even chaining Tarra to the wagon was almost enough to make me want to impale Him. When I tried to reason with Him.. He approached me and picked me up, telling me to Shut up if I knew what was good for me... and then He threw me down onto the steps of the wagon. He then threatened me that if I spoke any further, I would be on the ground.... so.. I left. At least Tarra and I have matching bruises.. but Her's resembles a backhand.. mine is a nice dark line across my back. The similarities between Tarra and I are so pronounced, but most wouldnt see them as we hide alot under different facades. I dont think even Shi has seen most of them, I wish I knew what happened to this Man I once called brother.. but I lost respect for Him this night. Reguardless of my feelings towards Shi right now, I must be there for my Sister as She deals with this pain of losing a child. I too have been there... and it is no fun to go through it alone....
Alone.... How terrible it is.
After we left, I was able to find out from Tarra we were going to Schendi. Now.. Ive never been there before, so I was a bit excited.. that is until the Outpost came into view and Tarra went quiet. I dismounted off the kaiila and began to read the tracks, since Tarra said the place should be swarming with Men or at least some that should have ridden out to meet us by now. I saw signs of a scuffle.. a sword fight and though I didnt tell Tarra.. I saw where a young Woman had been drug away. Tarra dismounted off the kaiila and we approached the Post carefully. She spoke to me to stay close and as I turned to look at Her, I felt the wind shift against my back. My quiva was already drawn and I turned to see a rather large.. pissed off Man charging me. Now.. I know I speak a good story.. claiming how I can fight like a Man and all... but deep down, I damn well know I am no match for a Warrior. My quiva was brought up as Jerus had taught me... up and paraelle to the ground, which blocked the initial strike the Man would have wish connected with my head. I dove to the side and rolled, then hopped up into a fighting stance... when I saw the other Man emerge. I know now this one was a Mamba cause Tarra told me so later. She was skilled enough to daze the Mamba with some of the ancient language long enough that She could strike and bring Him down. As the one I fought glanced over.. I swirled my bola and was able to distract Him long enough to draw my daggers which connected into His legs, just above the knee, rendering Him imobile. As He fell to the ground, I hopped into saddle and rode in fast, diving off to drive the quiva through His shoulder and pinning Him to the ground. Now that the Man was still alive.. Jerus would be proud, I hope.. We started to question Him. Tarra went to the Man and started asking Him questions, while I roughly removed my quiva once the Man had been tied and secured. I checked the rest of the area for more.. and thankfully, none were about. As I moved back to Tarra and the Man, She easily had plucked the Man's eye from it's socket without breaking a sweat. Skies.. I love Her... so much like me. So.. as She asked questions... I got to put some of His teeth and torment Him. Finally.. Tarra had what She wanted and slit the Man's throat. We burned both bodies and as I watched the flames devour them, I noticed Tarra had walked to the edge of the Jungle. Following Her.. I paused to see the emotions flow through Her and I knew it was nothing good. A necklace, worn by Her daughter, soaked in blood was in Her hands. We returned to the Post for the night and after talking to Tarra for a bit.. I knew I had to get Her home to Shi. Only He could ease Her griefstricken heart. Course.. Tarra was about to leave and I wasnt about to leave Her.. so.. I thwaped Her on the head with the hilt of my quiva and hoisted Her to the kaiila. Riding all night within my own thoughts of anger and dispair, we made it to the Plains to be met by the Outriders and Shi... who.. was none to happy to see us. Ordered back to camp and to stay put... I searched the riders for any sign of Jerus... and yes.. saddly, He was no where to be seen. I found a wave of jealously rush through me as Shi at least knew Tarra was gone... and though His anger towards my Sister was greater than I expected... I wished someone was there to speak to me. He wasnt. I waited several more Ahn's for Toronado to ride into camp, and when He didnt... I felt the swell of rage grow. Shi and I got into a battle of words... How could He treat Tarra so horribly, when Her daughter was dead??? He was cold ... and I couldnt believe the words that came from His mouth... even chaining Tarra to the wagon was almost enough to make me want to impale Him. When I tried to reason with Him.. He approached me and picked me up, telling me to Shut up if I knew what was good for me... and then He threw me down onto the steps of the wagon. He then threatened me that if I spoke any further, I would be on the ground.... so.. I left. At least Tarra and I have matching bruises.. but Her's resembles a backhand.. mine is a nice dark line across my back. The similarities between Tarra and I are so pronounced, but most wouldnt see them as we hide alot under different facades. I dont think even Shi has seen most of them, I wish I knew what happened to this Man I once called brother.. but I lost respect for Him this night. Reguardless of my feelings towards Shi right now, I must be there for my Sister as She deals with this pain of losing a child. I too have been there... and it is no fun to go through it alone....
Alone.... How terrible it is.
Page 32 (5/28/2006) Le Cage' Tuchuk
It is now clear to me, the reason for my sleeplessness.. headaches and just all about uneasiness. As close as I am with Tarra and being one of Wind Whispers and Dream Walkers, I have shared some of the visions that go along with this. Though I never fully embraced the Spexy way of life and never learned more of the powers and dealings, I cannot turn off the things that come to me. I know that something is wrong and it has to do with Tarra and Her family. After last night.. fighting with Shi and seeing nothing being done about this... Ive decided to help Tarra myself. There is great turmoil within my Sister's heart... so deep and painfull that I think even I feel it. The thought of a child in trouble, pains me to no end. I know if it was one of mine, Tarra would be the first beside me to help.
I left camp with Alpha and started to stock some supplies and saddle bags. It is true that Tarra and I will leave camp in search of Her family in trouble... She doesnt know this yet... all will become clear shortly. Of course, none of Jerus' detail would allow me to go off, so I have come up with some... alternate arrangements. Dressing Shanay in my clothes and my blue cloak, I fastened a lift of sorts for Alpha's saddle, making Her taller. She will use my kaiila in order to pull off the switch. I have told my daughter that I need Her to put the hood of the cloak up and ride around camp to gain the attention of the guards. Then I needed Her to ride out to the herds. Kota will be with Her and not go too far, just enough to keep the detail busy. I also have readied two of Jerus' kaiila to use. Now that I have successfully made it to the Clan grounds... I have secured two sets of Men's clothing. A set for Tarra and a set for me. We will we able to mingle among the Outriders and pass without question this way. The arms and legs of the garb will be stuffed with rep cloths to uhmm well, bulk up, so to speak.
Im not sure where we are going.. but I know Tarra is hell bent on leaving to somewhere.. and since Shi wouldnt let Her go Im sure.. I will go with Her.. at least together we can be safer.
Now dressed like an Outrider, I have called from the wagon to one of the Men to summon Tarra to the grounds. Telling them that illness has fallen upon me and I was in need of my Sister. From here.. we will leave.
Jerus is gonna kill me........
:::: The journal was closed and She waited for Tarra to arrive.. this would certainly be an interesting trip::::
I left camp with Alpha and started to stock some supplies and saddle bags. It is true that Tarra and I will leave camp in search of Her family in trouble... She doesnt know this yet... all will become clear shortly. Of course, none of Jerus' detail would allow me to go off, so I have come up with some... alternate arrangements. Dressing Shanay in my clothes and my blue cloak, I fastened a lift of sorts for Alpha's saddle, making Her taller. She will use my kaiila in order to pull off the switch. I have told my daughter that I need Her to put the hood of the cloak up and ride around camp to gain the attention of the guards. Then I needed Her to ride out to the herds. Kota will be with Her and not go too far, just enough to keep the detail busy. I also have readied two of Jerus' kaiila to use. Now that I have successfully made it to the Clan grounds... I have secured two sets of Men's clothing. A set for Tarra and a set for me. We will we able to mingle among the Outriders and pass without question this way. The arms and legs of the garb will be stuffed with rep cloths to uhmm well, bulk up, so to speak.
Im not sure where we are going.. but I know Tarra is hell bent on leaving to somewhere.. and since Shi wouldnt let Her go Im sure.. I will go with Her.. at least together we can be safer.
Now dressed like an Outrider, I have called from the wagon to one of the Men to summon Tarra to the grounds. Telling them that illness has fallen upon me and I was in need of my Sister. From here.. we will leave.
Jerus is gonna kill me........
:::: The journal was closed and She waited for Tarra to arrive.. this would certainly be an interesting trip::::
Page 31 (5/26/2006) These cant be my children...???!!
It was raining and hard. The sound of the drops hitting the wagon covering was deafening at times and here I was stuck in the wagon with all four of my lovelies. Thank the Skies, Talia slept most of the day. Prolly helped that a lil bit of Paga rubbed on Her sore gums knocked Her out. Shanay was working on a new dress complete with beads. And then there are my terror's... Kota and Wily. The two of them wrestling, fighting, bickering.. running like caged sleen about the wagon was enough to drive the sanest person to drool and babble. Finally, I could take no more and stood up, grabbing each by the neck and sat them down at the table. I handed them a piece of paper and writing stick and proceed to tell them to pick an object and list as many names for this object as they could.
It's been 2 Ahn and I was finally handed the list... Dakota seemed pleased and as I looked over His handwritten list... I thought.... Im gonna kill these boys.....
Dakota and Wily's list of names for "Poppers"
after dinner mint air air attack air biscuit air poop anal acoustics Anal announcement anal escape of wind anal emissions anal oxide anal retreat anus evacuation arse blast backblast backdoor trumpet back draft back end blow out barking urts barking spiders big spit-upblow-by bottom burp brown haze brown mist bubblers bull snort bum and flutter burners burp that went astray burp that comes out the wrong end butt burps butt cheek squeak butt mutt Butt trumpet case of swamp ass cheeser chert cornhole tremor cushion creepers doozer doozy double flutterblast drifters drive by explosion between the cheeks fanny beep fanny bubble fart fickle fuzz fire in the hole fizz fizz-fuzz fizzy fuzz flabbergaster flame throwers flooper fluff flurpies foo-foo gross wind gurglers hanger hissers hole in the wall gang honksa hot wind kabooms love puff message from the interior misdirected burp morning thunder mudslapper musical butt the nether belch one-cheek sneaks phewie poof poppers poopy tunes pooty pants puffer putt-putts rare arse rattler rectal turbulence rip ass ripship ripsnorter the scented scream silent but deadly silent but violent silent depth charge sliders smoofer sphincter whistle sphincturbulence spitters squeakers stale wind stench of death talking pants tear arse thunder below thunder in the buns tooters toot-toots triple flutter blaster triple thunder flutter trouser cough trouser trumpet tushie belches Under-thunder voice of the toothless one whallop whootzie wind wind breakage windy pops
Needless to say... They get an A for effort. Next time, I'll be more...specific in what they can... describe???
It's been 2 Ahn and I was finally handed the list... Dakota seemed pleased and as I looked over His handwritten list... I thought.... Im gonna kill these boys.....
Dakota and Wily's list of names for "Poppers"
after dinner mint air air attack air biscuit air poop anal acoustics Anal announcement anal escape of wind anal emissions anal oxide anal retreat anus evacuation arse blast backblast backdoor trumpet back draft back end blow out barking urts barking spiders big spit-upblow-by bottom burp brown haze brown mist bubblers bull snort bum and flutter burners burp that went astray burp that comes out the wrong end butt burps butt cheek squeak butt mutt Butt trumpet case of swamp ass cheeser chert cornhole tremor cushion creepers doozer doozy double flutterblast drifters drive by explosion between the cheeks fanny beep fanny bubble fart fickle fuzz fire in the hole fizz fizz-fuzz fizzy fuzz flabbergaster flame throwers flooper fluff flurpies foo-foo gross wind gurglers hanger hissers hole in the wall gang honksa hot wind kabooms love puff message from the interior misdirected burp morning thunder mudslapper musical butt the nether belch one-cheek sneaks phewie poof poppers poopy tunes pooty pants puffer putt-putts rare arse rattler rectal turbulence rip ass ripship ripsnorter the scented scream silent but deadly silent but violent silent depth charge sliders smoofer sphincter whistle sphincturbulence spitters squeakers stale wind stench of death talking pants tear arse thunder below thunder in the buns tooters toot-toots triple flutter blaster triple thunder flutter trouser cough trouser trumpet tushie belches Under-thunder voice of the toothless one whallop whootzie wind wind breakage windy pops
Needless to say... They get an A for effort. Next time, I'll be more...specific in what they can... describe???
Page 30 (5/23/2005) All hell breaks loose
Last night, my head was about to rotate off my shoulders and spilt in two. The Wily bug tested my patience, Dakota and Shanay seem to have nothing better to do than avoid their younger siblings.. and Talia was fitfull all night... I think She is teething, so She has an excuse.
It started with Wily streaking through camp... at Kota's suggestion of course. Then Bo with His brainstorm of telling the boy not to strain to make "poppers" cause He would shit Himself, which.. was made audiable over and over by the WilyMan. The the lil redheaded, freckle faced Tuchuk dives on an injured Shi, who captures Him finally and I was able to get my hands on Him. Several good resounding smacks to that bare backside and I'd had enough. I turned Wily over to Kota and Shanay and told them to deal with Him for the night.. and if Wily set foot outside the wagon again this night, I told my twins I would beat them within an inch of their lives. Skies, I needed some rest. Jerus has been in the Herds so many nights now, and Ive been alone... with the bratlings..no rest.. Im about to pop an axle. Talia is a Papa's girl, Ohhh She is fine with me, but also very much like me.. She gets crankey when Jerus is absent for a long period of time. So after I entered the wagon, She started fussin. I tried to feed Her, She bit me, well gummed me with those hard, inflamed pre-teeth gums. Luckily, tanya was about and took the baby to the craddle, singing Her to sleep. I soon after lost my patience with the slave, she just seemed so pleased with herself in getting my daughter to sleep... and the slave is so damn proper ! I wound up grabbing one of Jerus' belts and beating her across the back and shoulders.. hitting the mark a few times as she ran from the wagon sobbing and whimpering.
My temper is growing... my patience thin.. very thin. The headaches are worse than ever. I havent eaten... why? Dont know. Heck.. I havent had a bota of Paga in... hands. Maybe it's Paga Withdrawl. I did get some decent sleep last night. Talia slept all night and I woke to Her playfull cooing and babble. I havent seen tanya yet.. good.. better off that way. Damn slave reminds me of.. well me, long time ago. I fed Talia and dressed after I took a bath and washed the hair. It was then I noticed Dakota and Shanay franticlly searching the camp grounds. Looking under wagons, in dung sacks and they looked... nervous. I watched for several Ehn, until it hit me... Wily.. was no where to be seen. A warm feeling of fear washed over me, and remembering my promise of the past night, I ran to Kota and grabbed Him by the scruff of the neck. He turned white and looked to me, Shanay I could see had been crying. She spun around and started to run when I called Her to stop and get Her backside over here. Now, Kota... still a Young Man and an honorable Tuchuk already, didnt much fear His Mother's threats, this I knew... but He was visably shaken. I asked.. "Where is your brother !!!??" Shanay started crying, even Dakota I think welled up and whispered " Momma, He was with us in the wagon. We went to sleep... and when I woke up half an Ahn later... He was gone !!! Nay and I have been looking all night ! " I felt my headache returning and my legs started to shake. Kota winced as I subconsciously started to tighten my grip on His neck. When He groaned, I lightened up realizing I still held Him. " Momma, please dont beat us !!! " Shanay cried. And I looked to them and spoke in that low, motherly tone. "Find Him.. now!" The twins took off in search of the WilyBug once more. I did my best to maintain calm, but for the first time in ages, I was scaired to death. I imagined my youngest son wandering the plains.. or meeting up with a stray sleen.. or worse, captured by Turia.. I had to close my eyes and shake the visions from my head. Taking a deep breath I started my search in the other direction, calling Wily's name here and there. Not long after, one of Dashie's guards approached and lay a hand to my shoulder. He told me of Wily spending the night with Unka Bo and Auntie Dashie and that He was still in the wagon. I ran like the wind to Her wagon and peeked inside... the fear drained slowly and a smile drifted over lips. Inside was Dashie and Wily curled up together still sleeping. I thought that my poor Sister Dash must not have slept alot lately and the comfort of a young one beside you always made you feel good... so I left the BugMan there with Her for awhile longer. I approached the guard and told Him that I wanted no one to know that I knew where Wily was and upon Dash waking up, wanted to teach the twins a lesson. That Dash was to keep Wily with Her as long as She could handle, so I could rile the twins into a frenzy for their less than desirable attention span. Funny thing is.. Wily always behaved well with Dashie and Bo. I also wouldnt let Jerus know that I knew where our son was, for His genuine reaction to the twins would be much more clear. I to would play the part of the frantic Mother. The guard nodded and stood outside the wagon, waiting for them to awaken. I returned to our wagon and waited for Jerus to return. The twins passed by many times, crying, sobbing.. calling for their brother. I had Jerus' belt in my hand once more, which was snapped against my palm... as I stared at the two.... Dakota and Shanay would learn the hard way, what it means to not take their siblings for granted
It started with Wily streaking through camp... at Kota's suggestion of course. Then Bo with His brainstorm of telling the boy not to strain to make "poppers" cause He would shit Himself, which.. was made audiable over and over by the WilyMan. The the lil redheaded, freckle faced Tuchuk dives on an injured Shi, who captures Him finally and I was able to get my hands on Him. Several good resounding smacks to that bare backside and I'd had enough. I turned Wily over to Kota and Shanay and told them to deal with Him for the night.. and if Wily set foot outside the wagon again this night, I told my twins I would beat them within an inch of their lives. Skies, I needed some rest. Jerus has been in the Herds so many nights now, and Ive been alone... with the bratlings..no rest.. Im about to pop an axle. Talia is a Papa's girl, Ohhh She is fine with me, but also very much like me.. She gets crankey when Jerus is absent for a long period of time. So after I entered the wagon, She started fussin. I tried to feed Her, She bit me, well gummed me with those hard, inflamed pre-teeth gums. Luckily, tanya was about and took the baby to the craddle, singing Her to sleep. I soon after lost my patience with the slave, she just seemed so pleased with herself in getting my daughter to sleep... and the slave is so damn proper ! I wound up grabbing one of Jerus' belts and beating her across the back and shoulders.. hitting the mark a few times as she ran from the wagon sobbing and whimpering.
My temper is growing... my patience thin.. very thin. The headaches are worse than ever. I havent eaten... why? Dont know. Heck.. I havent had a bota of Paga in... hands. Maybe it's Paga Withdrawl. I did get some decent sleep last night. Talia slept all night and I woke to Her playfull cooing and babble. I havent seen tanya yet.. good.. better off that way. Damn slave reminds me of.. well me, long time ago. I fed Talia and dressed after I took a bath and washed the hair. It was then I noticed Dakota and Shanay franticlly searching the camp grounds. Looking under wagons, in dung sacks and they looked... nervous. I watched for several Ehn, until it hit me... Wily.. was no where to be seen. A warm feeling of fear washed over me, and remembering my promise of the past night, I ran to Kota and grabbed Him by the scruff of the neck. He turned white and looked to me, Shanay I could see had been crying. She spun around and started to run when I called Her to stop and get Her backside over here. Now, Kota... still a Young Man and an honorable Tuchuk already, didnt much fear His Mother's threats, this I knew... but He was visably shaken. I asked.. "Where is your brother !!!??" Shanay started crying, even Dakota I think welled up and whispered " Momma, He was with us in the wagon. We went to sleep... and when I woke up half an Ahn later... He was gone !!! Nay and I have been looking all night ! " I felt my headache returning and my legs started to shake. Kota winced as I subconsciously started to tighten my grip on His neck. When He groaned, I lightened up realizing I still held Him. " Momma, please dont beat us !!! " Shanay cried. And I looked to them and spoke in that low, motherly tone. "Find Him.. now!" The twins took off in search of the WilyBug once more. I did my best to maintain calm, but for the first time in ages, I was scaired to death. I imagined my youngest son wandering the plains.. or meeting up with a stray sleen.. or worse, captured by Turia.. I had to close my eyes and shake the visions from my head. Taking a deep breath I started my search in the other direction, calling Wily's name here and there. Not long after, one of Dashie's guards approached and lay a hand to my shoulder. He told me of Wily spending the night with Unka Bo and Auntie Dashie and that He was still in the wagon. I ran like the wind to Her wagon and peeked inside... the fear drained slowly and a smile drifted over lips. Inside was Dashie and Wily curled up together still sleeping. I thought that my poor Sister Dash must not have slept alot lately and the comfort of a young one beside you always made you feel good... so I left the BugMan there with Her for awhile longer. I approached the guard and told Him that I wanted no one to know that I knew where Wily was and upon Dash waking up, wanted to teach the twins a lesson. That Dash was to keep Wily with Her as long as She could handle, so I could rile the twins into a frenzy for their less than desirable attention span. Funny thing is.. Wily always behaved well with Dashie and Bo. I also wouldnt let Jerus know that I knew where our son was, for His genuine reaction to the twins would be much more clear. I to would play the part of the frantic Mother. The guard nodded and stood outside the wagon, waiting for them to awaken. I returned to our wagon and waited for Jerus to return. The twins passed by many times, crying, sobbing.. calling for their brother. I had Jerus' belt in my hand once more, which was snapped against my palm... as I stared at the two.... Dakota and Shanay would learn the hard way, what it means to not take their siblings for granted
Page 29 (5/22/2006) Beware the fog...
Maybe it's gonna rain... Im not sure. Maybe it's still just alittle too chilly in the mornings, or the camp fires are being tended too more... but I'll be darned if every morning when I get up there is this cloud around the wagon. It seems to envelope Bo and Dashie's wagon as well. The wind seems to drift it towards our wagon where it hangs for awhile. It could be decomposing grass, the tint of this cloud is a bit green... almost toxic. That reminds me, I must tell Bo and Dash to be carefull with their fire in the wagon, I saw alot of smoke coming from the vents in the canvas last night. ohh and then there is this smell... like old wet socks being soaked in bosk dunk and left in the heat of day to simmer. I will have to talk to the slaves and tell them not to keep the dung sacks under the wagon anymore. Must be something those beasts are eating, change in diet I guess but Skies what a stench.
Talia has finally fully adjusted to the move. She is eating and sleeping on a regular schedual that suits me fine. Wily, ahhh the WilyBug. His adjustment took all of 3 Ehn. He likes to visit with Aunt Tarra and Uncle Shi and play with Halley. Dont know why He wont stay with His own Sister, He says She needs to go back. I think the WilyMan is feeling a bit pushed aside by me for all the attention Talia is getting. I will have to make more time for Him before we have another streaking incident. The newest interest... He is suddenly fasinated with His Uncle Bo and Auntie Dash. I caught Him playing outside their wagon, in the midst of that awful fog last night. He was strutting around, pretending to be Bo... giving orders to unseen Guards and Warriors. Drinking His water like it was Paga... and then it happened. The lil man made a WhizzzPopper. Now, I thought this child of mine would look around and chuckle, but no.. instead He just scratched and folded His arms.. damn if He wasnt proud. Maybe He just didnt hear it? or realize it? Wrong again, Silken.... He proceeded to strain and struggle and do it again ! And I'll be damned if He didnt start protraying Dash too ! He actually carried on a conversation. acting like Bo and Dash for several Ehn.... sticking His lil belly out when He would speak for Dash... scratching body parts when He was Bo. Well, it was cute for a short time, till the WilyDash person got the WhizzPoppers too. WilyDash started yellin for pickled eggs or something and the WilyBo refussed to get them. More WhizzPoppers, Rip-Snorters and stomping around till I made a sound that alerted Him to my presence. I had to call Him over and inquire as to what He was doing. He had those innocent.. "What me?" eyes and mine narrowed on this lil tike. " Wily ", I said "Have you been listening in on Bo and Dash? " Wily grinned from ear to ear and nodded. " Yup, Momma.. I sit under da wagon and listen to the music ! " "Music?" I asked, "What music, Wily?" He responded " The horns, Momma. Unk Bo and Auntie Dash play the horns at night when it gets reallllll quiet.... and skies, Momma.. one of them can play a note real long and loud too ! " Hmmm ok, this was interesting. I didnt know Dashie and Bo played any instrument. This I would have to investigate further. But, I had Wily to tend to now and spoke to Him quietly. " Wily... It's nice that you want to spend time with Bo and Dash, but sitting under their wagon without them knowing it, is not very nice. I dont want you doing it again... unless you tell them your there.... ok?" Wily nodded, in one ear...out the other... and He was off to find Dakota and play. I called after Him.. " Wily ! Watch out for that cloud of smoke " Course.. He was gone.
Skies, my eyes are watering again and my throat is burning... darn dung sacks.. I must have an allergy. Here comes that fog... I think Im gonna ask Jerus if we can move our wagons further apart and get some air circulating between them. So much for my appetite.
Talia has finally fully adjusted to the move. She is eating and sleeping on a regular schedual that suits me fine. Wily, ahhh the WilyBug. His adjustment took all of 3 Ehn. He likes to visit with Aunt Tarra and Uncle Shi and play with Halley. Dont know why He wont stay with His own Sister, He says She needs to go back. I think the WilyMan is feeling a bit pushed aside by me for all the attention Talia is getting. I will have to make more time for Him before we have another streaking incident. The newest interest... He is suddenly fasinated with His Uncle Bo and Auntie Dash. I caught Him playing outside their wagon, in the midst of that awful fog last night. He was strutting around, pretending to be Bo... giving orders to unseen Guards and Warriors. Drinking His water like it was Paga... and then it happened. The lil man made a WhizzzPopper. Now, I thought this child of mine would look around and chuckle, but no.. instead He just scratched and folded His arms.. damn if He wasnt proud. Maybe He just didnt hear it? or realize it? Wrong again, Silken.... He proceeded to strain and struggle and do it again ! And I'll be damned if He didnt start protraying Dash too ! He actually carried on a conversation. acting like Bo and Dash for several Ehn.... sticking His lil belly out when He would speak for Dash... scratching body parts when He was Bo. Well, it was cute for a short time, till the WilyDash person got the WhizzPoppers too. WilyDash started yellin for pickled eggs or something and the WilyBo refussed to get them. More WhizzPoppers, Rip-Snorters and stomping around till I made a sound that alerted Him to my presence. I had to call Him over and inquire as to what He was doing. He had those innocent.. "What me?" eyes and mine narrowed on this lil tike. " Wily ", I said "Have you been listening in on Bo and Dash? " Wily grinned from ear to ear and nodded. " Yup, Momma.. I sit under da wagon and listen to the music ! " "Music?" I asked, "What music, Wily?" He responded " The horns, Momma. Unk Bo and Auntie Dash play the horns at night when it gets reallllll quiet.... and skies, Momma.. one of them can play a note real long and loud too ! " Hmmm ok, this was interesting. I didnt know Dashie and Bo played any instrument. This I would have to investigate further. But, I had Wily to tend to now and spoke to Him quietly. " Wily... It's nice that you want to spend time with Bo and Dash, but sitting under their wagon without them knowing it, is not very nice. I dont want you doing it again... unless you tell them your there.... ok?" Wily nodded, in one ear...out the other... and He was off to find Dakota and play. I called after Him.. " Wily ! Watch out for that cloud of smoke " Course.. He was gone.
Skies, my eyes are watering again and my throat is burning... darn dung sacks.. I must have an allergy. Here comes that fog... I think Im gonna ask Jerus if we can move our wagons further apart and get some air circulating between them. So much for my appetite.
Page 28 (5/12/2006) A Priest King, A Kur and an Outrider walk into a Paga Den....
So, Ive been sitting on the plains in the midsts of the herds for some time now. The twins have visited several times. They arent use to me being so quiet and serene. Kota tried several times to amuse me with some antics... doing backflips and sommersaults while wielding His quiva. And while it made me happy to see it, I just couldnt find the strenght to smile. Finally, Dakota tugged at me and said I had to return to camp, it was urgent. How could I argue with that, and I did so.. following the two back to the wagons. Our son had me sit on the platform to his wagon.. stating that I needed to watch the door of Paga Wagon 9. Curious as to who... or rather what was going to happen, I settled in and studied the door. Occasionally giving a glance to those that passed by, but mostly watching that damn door. Several ehn passed before I sighed and looked to my twins... asking.. "Kota, Shanay.. just what am I looking for???" Both kids looked at me.. grinned and then Kota took off towards the Paga wagon. Shanay took my hand and patted it when I heard Dakota cry loudly. "PAPA !! Come quick !! Momma fell off the wagon !!!" Needless to say... I raised a brow and looked to Shanay questioning this. She proceeded to tell me that Jerus was in the Paga wagon and to just continue to watch. Well.. I saw Kota go pale first as Jerus came running out of the Paga wagon... number 8 ! Kota looked at Jerus... and before He could get up the stairs to number 9.. the door swung open and a half faschnickered Jort stepped out. It was at that moment that I saw the bucket over the door... and within an ihn.. poor Jort was covered from head to boots in some sort of sticky, oozing goo that now drained from the tipped over bucket. Kota nearly disappeared.. getting very very small.. Shanay just groaned and hid behind me... Jerus stood, impassive as always and looked between all of us and then I heard it. My own laughter and not a snicker, not a chuckle.. an all out and out laugh... the kind that makes your belly hurt. Tears were running down my cheeks in no time and the more I watched Jort try and remove the goop, the more I laughed. My stomach was tying up in knots and it hurt !!! But I couldnt stop. What could top this? I thought.. and then it was topped.... from the bathing wagon came that lil red-headed ball of fire, chip off the ole block's... THE BREADED TUCHUK !!!!! The Wily one.. nekkid as the day He was born. Of course a horrified tanya was trying to capture that lil sprite who streaked through camp.. He was full of soap and more slippery than an ost in water. When the slave took a header by slipping on the splattered goop and Wily came charging at her and lept on her... both of them slid under the wagon. Ever laugh so hard no sound comes out???? MMmmmHHhhmmm. But suddenly... Everything got silent, including me when Jerus' arms unfolded and He walked down the steps, over to the other wagon. His expression was unreadable as He looked Jort over.. then crouched down to gather up His son from under the wagon. Once Father and Son stood up I watched Jerus draw His quiva and hold it up to the skies. Kota nearly passed out, Shanay gasped and that's when Wily... in His glory, mind you... Proclaimed to the camp... " I am Wily !! The breaded Tuchuk! Me n me Papa ride !!! Look out Turia !!!! " and a grin crept over Jerus' face... He took a deep breath and bellowed out for all to hear... " Hide your KM's.. store your cookwares.... We come to bake !!! " Hysteric's... tears... laughter... more laughter and everyone was rollin... well all except Jort who was looking around puzzled. Dakota and Shanay high-tailed it out of there and tanya took Wily back from Jerus. Jort just looked at me and said... " You didnt fall? " I could only shake my head, after all, laughing now would be rude... wouldn't it? Jort just shrugged and returned to the Paga Wagon.. goo and all.
I think that bucket was ment fer Jerus......
But that's our secret
I think that bucket was ment fer Jerus......
But that's our secret
Page 27 (5/11/2006) One mirror, many faces
I cant help but hear the voices that speak to me even when I dont want to listen. Trouble is, they never shut up, they never leave me alone. We all have that inner voice that tries to guide us and teach us, but when there is more than one, how do you know which one to listen to? Ever wonder if one of those parts of your inner makeup is out to kill you? What if that dark, desolate demon that hides within all of us decided to just end it all... and you as a whole let it happen. If scar's make the man.. what makes the woman? We dont wear our colors on the outside, proclaiming to the world our accomplishments. We have to verbalize our victories and for that, we are scorned and labeled "chatterer's" or "hen pecking" Just once, it would be nice to hear.. Good job, or Im glad you did that... Instead of.. what the hell were you thinking. Im tired of being labeled a Woman that needs protection from herself. Some say they come down on me hard because My mouth will get me killed... but is it really me doing the speaking? I dont know anymore.
Its been a bad few days. Stuck with the kids.. listening to the voice of reasoning and disaster. Which road do I take? I try to remain impartial to the words of the others. Taking all in and judging the different routes to take. One side says.. to run and hide, one says.. forget this crap, it isnt worth it, one says... you give too much and get to little, another says... Men are this way, deal with it. Skies, everyone needs to shut up and let me live.
" Give give give.. take take take. Dont concider that I worry. I always come back, I always forgive. Not anymore. I have feelings too. Im strong but Im weak. Ive seen death, I watched it take life from ones I loved, it left it's mark on me... I am the next target. The blood in our veins... how tranquil it seems under the skin, a vibrant blue in color.. yet when we bleed it is red... as it dries..crimson... and once it stops.. it is almost black. Release is to feel it flow, to watch it drain and to stop it before you pass out. How cold that moment is, when one has reached the limit of blood letting... you almost cringe with the deafening sound of the beating of your heart within your ears... screaming for more blood.. aching to not stop. yet it's embrace is comforting and under my control. Dont cry..... "
A friend died today... killed herself... that is what she told me once... but was I listening? I didnt believe...
I was wrong...
I could have stopped it...
Forgive me
xoxo I love you Andie (RIP Andrea M)
Its been a bad few days. Stuck with the kids.. listening to the voice of reasoning and disaster. Which road do I take? I try to remain impartial to the words of the others. Taking all in and judging the different routes to take. One side says.. to run and hide, one says.. forget this crap, it isnt worth it, one says... you give too much and get to little, another says... Men are this way, deal with it. Skies, everyone needs to shut up and let me live.
" Give give give.. take take take. Dont concider that I worry. I always come back, I always forgive. Not anymore. I have feelings too. Im strong but Im weak. Ive seen death, I watched it take life from ones I loved, it left it's mark on me... I am the next target. The blood in our veins... how tranquil it seems under the skin, a vibrant blue in color.. yet when we bleed it is red... as it dries..crimson... and once it stops.. it is almost black. Release is to feel it flow, to watch it drain and to stop it before you pass out. How cold that moment is, when one has reached the limit of blood letting... you almost cringe with the deafening sound of the beating of your heart within your ears... screaming for more blood.. aching to not stop. yet it's embrace is comforting and under my control. Dont cry..... "
A friend died today... killed herself... that is what she told me once... but was I listening? I didnt believe...
I was wrong...
I could have stopped it...
Forgive me
xoxo I love you Andie (RIP Andrea M)
Page 26 (5/4/2006) The wrath of Wily
IF THE BOY MAKES HIS 5th TURNING... I'D BE SURPRISED! ok so... Im sitting in the wagon getting Talia ready for sleep... now.. picture this.. really.. In walks Wily.. covered from head to toe in mud.. dried by now, mind you. Bout the only thing you could see were His teeth as He grinned from ear to ear. So.. I say.. Wily? Did you plan on this look... or did you somehow stumble into a pool of mud? Now... remember..picture this.. This child of ours.. so innocent.. so loveable.. proceeds to put His arms up like... Who.. me? What mud... beloved Mother, would I do that? My foot started tappin... and I could see Him squirming for the right answer. He looks at me square in the eyes.. well I think He did.. and says... I love you Momma. Good answer, I said Wily... but ?? but ... uhhh Momma? Yes, Wily, I said... Wily says.. I was playing with Dakota... He's said I was His...shadow, He showed me too ! But Momma... I's was all black, no eyes, no ears, no nuttin ! But it was me, cause when I moved, it did too... so I figered I musta washed all the black off, left my nose and ears somewhere and had to put it back on. ... Well, needless to say, I laughed and hard. Wily was serious.. and if anyone was to blame..it was Kota. Mr. big influence...Mmhmmm. I then insisted that the WilyBug go wash it off, to which He ...yup... you guessed it...threw a Tuchuk Tantrum the likes which havent been seen since someone locked up all of Jerus' Paga wagons. Without further adeu, I scooped this little guy up and off to the bathing wagons.. water flying, mud slopping this way.. Wily screaming.. ughhh my head hurts. I ushered our youngest son back to His wagon where I was surprized once more with a swift kick to my shin and a nice bite to the thigh. It shocked me to the point, I shoved Him away with a good tongue lashing before I grabbed hold and whalloped that tiny backside with my hand.... which, stings now. I left Him blubbering and sobbing... of course giving the ever classic threat that made any child cower in the night.. "wait till your Father gets home and hears about this !!! "
I passed Kota on the way backto my wagon and was about to lash out at Him when I noticed He looked a bit green. When I questioned what was wrong, He told me something about Mustard and Vulo egg sandwiches... snickering, I knew the munchies had hit Dashie Pants. Ahhhhh cravings.. gotta love them. I got Kota some peppermint to chew and sent Him off to sleep. I was a bit hungry, but still brewing over Wily... so I returned to the furs and would now wait for Jerus... perhaps.. just a nap, till he comes home????
:::the journal was rested open over her stomach and eyes closed...quickly drifting to sleep with a sigh::::
I passed Kota on the way backto my wagon and was about to lash out at Him when I noticed He looked a bit green. When I questioned what was wrong, He told me something about Mustard and Vulo egg sandwiches... snickering, I knew the munchies had hit Dashie Pants. Ahhhhh cravings.. gotta love them. I got Kota some peppermint to chew and sent Him off to sleep. I was a bit hungry, but still brewing over Wily... so I returned to the furs and would now wait for Jerus... perhaps.. just a nap, till he comes home????
:::the journal was rested open over her stomach and eyes closed...quickly drifting to sleep with a sigh::::
Page 25 (5/3/2006) Storm clouds
::She woke with a start..sweating..trembling, and sat up breathing heavily. A scream on Her lips, but somehow She remembered the baby sleeping near by. A quick glance around...seeing Jerus already gone to the herds and She spotted Her journal. Grabbing it, to write quickly before the sleeps images faded.::::
I was in saddle.. alone.. on the Plains.. the bosk were a sea of beasts surrounding me. At first it was peaceful, until slowly a heavness began to wash over me. Alpha, started sidestepping to the left, I reined Him in tighter but it wasnt his doing.. it was the bosk. They were pushing us further and further away from the Harigga. It seemed like passangs before the bosk cleared to a point of a path. And I reined Alpha towards the clearing. We walked only a few Ehn before that damn myst appeared. No, it wasnt the darkness of my past returning... this one was different. Though I could tell it's intent wasnt a pleasant one. Within the myst was a figure.. familar, yet angry. I could hear the voice, but not make out the words. I felt the tug of hair.. it could have been the wind, Im not sure...but I was being drawn off the saddle and towards this figure. I struggled, I tried to scream.. I couldnt !! Skies, I couldnt !! I didnt even see what felt like hands grab my shoulders, pull me forward and shake me like a repcloth-doll. And then that... chill.. that cold, ... feeling of steel being placed around....................
::::And She slammed the book closed, throwing it harshly against the canvas of the wagon. Laying back down, She whispered to Herself:::
It's a dream.. nothing more Silken. Git ahold of yourself.
:::A sudden spark of realization when the name touched Her senses, almost whispering it in awareness... She closed Her eyes and curled up, sighing::::
I was in saddle.. alone.. on the Plains.. the bosk were a sea of beasts surrounding me. At first it was peaceful, until slowly a heavness began to wash over me. Alpha, started sidestepping to the left, I reined Him in tighter but it wasnt his doing.. it was the bosk. They were pushing us further and further away from the Harigga. It seemed like passangs before the bosk cleared to a point of a path. And I reined Alpha towards the clearing. We walked only a few Ehn before that damn myst appeared. No, it wasnt the darkness of my past returning... this one was different. Though I could tell it's intent wasnt a pleasant one. Within the myst was a figure.. familar, yet angry. I could hear the voice, but not make out the words. I felt the tug of hair.. it could have been the wind, Im not sure...but I was being drawn off the saddle and towards this figure. I struggled, I tried to scream.. I couldnt !! Skies, I couldnt !! I didnt even see what felt like hands grab my shoulders, pull me forward and shake me like a repcloth-doll. And then that... chill.. that cold, ... feeling of steel being placed around....................
::::And She slammed the book closed, throwing it harshly against the canvas of the wagon. Laying back down, She whispered to Herself:::
It's a dream.. nothing more Silken. Git ahold of yourself.
:::A sudden spark of realization when the name touched Her senses, almost whispering it in awareness... She closed Her eyes and curled up, sighing::::
Page 24 (5/2/2006) Sock Puppets
We made it South, with little casualities. Reports are still coming in and the few stray wagons that trailed far behind have now arrived. Those that lost wheel and where not repairable during the move will be retrieved in the coming days.
The kids had a blast on the trail. Dakota and Shanay, the ole pro's at wagon driving are exhausted and sleep alot now. I expect a few more days and they will settle once more into camp life. Talia, didnt fair the move well at all. She fussed, fought, screamed and squirmed the whole way. I swear that babe has teeth and my errrr uhhhmmm body shows the scars. Wily... on the other hand... now He took every advantage of the ride. He couldnt sit still and couldnt stay in the wagon. If the sight of a streaking redheaded lil Tuchuk wasnt enough to alert Turia we were on the move... then, I dont know what was. Of course, I think... like Father, like Son. The children have been more than thrilled to tell me of the story with Wily and Dashie Pants. How She made sock puppets to entertain our Son's time. From what I understand, that lil sprite decided to give Dashie's "hand" a good bite... something about a Larl and a Warrior and He was gonna "bite the larl's ear off". I must talk to that kiddo.. biting isnt nice, course maybe then I need to talk to Jerus about that as well. :::She laughed softly to Herself::: Yeah.. I know.. the Father/Son thing again. But none the less, Wily has been running around with "scars" on His cheeks..proclaiming He is " Wily the breaded Tuchuk!!! " I dont think I will tell Him it's dreaded, the other sounds just too damn cute. And that kid.. you could just coat Him in crumbs and eat Him up... just ask Auntie Dash. Course the scars would be some red clay, black ash, wagon grease and some paint He managed to get into. Harmless...and still adorable.
Dashie has shared some fantastic news with me. I am thrilled to know She and Bo are expecting. Of course, the healer in me started working the dates and coming up with a due time. Wont be soon enough for me. I just adore kids.... OTHER people's kids. heh heh. Dash is already glowing and I presume She will only do so more as the hands pass. It's such an amazing feeling to watch the love of two people grow into this combination of both their adoration. I must confess that being pregnant, though it sometimes disagrees with me, is the time I am happiest. To see one's belly swell, feel the child kick and turn inside you...growing stronger day by day... it takes my breath away... or is that just a foot being shoved into a lung? I love to see Jerus' face when He talks to the unborn baby.. to watch His smile and listen to His voice... His voice.. is like nothing I can compare. Ah the shivers it gives me. ::ahem, snaps back from daydreaming:: And of course, the baby likes it too. Ive already placed my order for some pieces of leather to make Dashie and Bo's tyke a set of leathers.
Ughhh there's a nekkid Tuchuk running past again... ohhhh dont worry.. this one is about 2 foot tall and red headed. I know it isnt Jerus... cause I can hear the Women clapping and not... laughing??? ohhh Im so dead... ::::She laughed hard and went to corral Her son back into the wagon, or at least into some clothes:::
The kids had a blast on the trail. Dakota and Shanay, the ole pro's at wagon driving are exhausted and sleep alot now. I expect a few more days and they will settle once more into camp life. Talia, didnt fair the move well at all. She fussed, fought, screamed and squirmed the whole way. I swear that babe has teeth and my errrr uhhhmmm body shows the scars. Wily... on the other hand... now He took every advantage of the ride. He couldnt sit still and couldnt stay in the wagon. If the sight of a streaking redheaded lil Tuchuk wasnt enough to alert Turia we were on the move... then, I dont know what was. Of course, I think... like Father, like Son. The children have been more than thrilled to tell me of the story with Wily and Dashie Pants. How She made sock puppets to entertain our Son's time. From what I understand, that lil sprite decided to give Dashie's "hand" a good bite... something about a Larl and a Warrior and He was gonna "bite the larl's ear off". I must talk to that kiddo.. biting isnt nice, course maybe then I need to talk to Jerus about that as well. :::She laughed softly to Herself::: Yeah.. I know.. the Father/Son thing again. But none the less, Wily has been running around with "scars" on His cheeks..proclaiming He is " Wily the breaded Tuchuk!!! " I dont think I will tell Him it's dreaded, the other sounds just too damn cute. And that kid.. you could just coat Him in crumbs and eat Him up... just ask Auntie Dash. Course the scars would be some red clay, black ash, wagon grease and some paint He managed to get into. Harmless...and still adorable.
Dashie has shared some fantastic news with me. I am thrilled to know She and Bo are expecting. Of course, the healer in me started working the dates and coming up with a due time. Wont be soon enough for me. I just adore kids.... OTHER people's kids. heh heh. Dash is already glowing and I presume She will only do so more as the hands pass. It's such an amazing feeling to watch the love of two people grow into this combination of both their adoration. I must confess that being pregnant, though it sometimes disagrees with me, is the time I am happiest. To see one's belly swell, feel the child kick and turn inside you...growing stronger day by day... it takes my breath away... or is that just a foot being shoved into a lung? I love to see Jerus' face when He talks to the unborn baby.. to watch His smile and listen to His voice... His voice.. is like nothing I can compare. Ah the shivers it gives me. ::ahem, snaps back from daydreaming:: And of course, the baby likes it too. Ive already placed my order for some pieces of leather to make Dashie and Bo's tyke a set of leathers.
Ughhh there's a nekkid Tuchuk running past again... ohhhh dont worry.. this one is about 2 foot tall and red headed. I know it isnt Jerus... cause I can hear the Women clapping and not... laughing??? ohhh Im so dead... ::::She laughed hard and went to corral Her son back into the wagon, or at least into some clothes:::
Page 23 (4/26/2006) Wit's end
A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. ( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! )
WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..." The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
xoxo
WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..." The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
xoxo
Page 22 (4/25/2006) Index to a Tuchuk
Jerus is off on Toronado.. checking the Wagons as we prepare to bed down for the night. He's had this smile all day and a funny glint in His eyes... which means..
1. He's up to something..
2. He's planning something..
or 3. He's carried it out.
He never ceases to amaze me. At my lowest of lows, He can make it worse, then bring me back up to joy. His way of showing me things is very... odd, to say the least. I personally would go about it other ways, but they say pain makes us stronger. Things I dont want to face, He makes me see. And somehow.. I feel better after He does so. But now that He is gone off from my sight for a few Ahn, Im left with these thoughts... thoughts that would probably be discarded by any other Woman, but not me. I read too deeply into them and given my gifts, see too much to just brush them aside. I still think of the South and everything it holds for me. Memories that are painful to bear await me. I have this vision as I ride, it is as though I see myself from behind. My shoulders and upper back bare. The paints embedded under my skin blaze a picture of the past. If it wasnt for the meaning... I'd love to see it daily. Jerus knows Im marked. I know it. I wear the symbols of those since past about my body. Tattoo'd like some prized animal... 1 of the 5 bother me. I can feel each line and each colored area, though I cannot see it without a mirror. 3 were given to me when I had no choice in the matter. Dove's.. Bloods and Hawks. I know Jerus doesnt mind Dove and Bloods. The "red dove" craddled over my right breast and the horns of bosk with drops of blood, are more of a memorial now. But... I think He is beginning to resent Hawks. Across the back shoulder, a huge imprint of a Hawk in flight.. does it symbolize something? Was it a way for Hawksclaw to hang onto me long past when He was gone? Perhaps that is why it hurts now.. more so than the day He had it placed. 4 Ahn's of lying there while some Man tapped the ink into my skin, brought tears to my eyes then. Now.. it brings tears to remember. My other two.. were placed in the City once I left the Plains to be with Papa Khilintyme. I had one to remember lil and the other to remember Papa Mars. They are small and lay safely around my left ankle. Mars gave me the idea for links of a chain around the ankle for He always held me captive when I was with Him. The other..A small amulet hangs from one of the links with the Gorean letter of "C" for my dear sister, lil. Funny how Jerus never mentioned it, maybe He never saw it. I dont know. Each one is something I rarely discuss with anyone... until today. I had hoped to add Blood, Dove and my 1st son's amulet to the chain, just never knew how to ask Jerus... or if He would allow Hawks and Steel to be included. Trajen too, He deserves a spot there.
I walked Alpha for a time today.. besides Jerus' wagon and checked out the wheel He so ardently desired me to see. He thinks He smart.. scratching my name into the wheel.. "Silkens wheel" like it is some threat for me to behave. I waited until Kota had to take a break and paused the wagon, before I quickly took out my dagger and changed it to "Silkens wonderful" Heh... let's see how long it takes for Him to notice.
Kota... sheshshhhh the boy is growing. Ive been alerted to my son wishing to speak to me about things... and frankly, Im not ready to answer His questions. I know the Boy feels the growing interest in the people and going back to the land where He was born has spawned many questions about the past. Ive avoided Him as best I could, hoping Jerus would tell Him when and where our little meeting would take place. Shanay being His twin, will be there also no doubt. It will be hard for me to face them with the truth. I wish them to have no regrets as to my past and their blood Father and our choices. But I fear Dakota's anger, He is, after all a full blooded Tuchuk and some things are frowned upon. Shanay... I fear will be ashamed. A Mother's natural instincts are to protect their children from harm and embarassment... but this could destroy them, or make them stronger. Jerus is my guide.. even if I dont agree with Him, I will accept His judgement on the talk. It is true I want to share stories of the past about me, the childrendont know much being that Im afraid to speak of it. They cling to Jerus' every word when He tells them of my younger years. Skies... I wish this was easy... but if it was, then.. I wouldnt be that boskheaded, stubborn.. red head that Jerus loves. Claim amnesia?? Bah... He would see through that in an ihn. What to do.. what to do...
1. Alter or erase certain tattoo's
2. Figure out a way to tell Dakota and Shanay who I was
3. Talk to Bo
4. Come to terms with how my children see me
5. Be proud of who and what I was
6. Be proud of what I am
7. Make Jerus Proud
8. Make Jerus smile more
9. Make Jerus fall in love with me all over again
10. Get more padding for saddle.. my arse hurts
11. Make ropes and chains disappear from Jerus' wagon
12. Fall in love with Jerus all over again
13. Love Jerus for the rest of my life
14. Love Jerus for the rest of my life
15. Love Jerus for the rest of my life
16. Love Jerus for the rest of my life
17. Love Jerus for the rest of my life
18. ... well, You know.
1. He's up to something..
2. He's planning something..
or 3. He's carried it out.
He never ceases to amaze me. At my lowest of lows, He can make it worse, then bring me back up to joy. His way of showing me things is very... odd, to say the least. I personally would go about it other ways, but they say pain makes us stronger. Things I dont want to face, He makes me see. And somehow.. I feel better after He does so. But now that He is gone off from my sight for a few Ahn, Im left with these thoughts... thoughts that would probably be discarded by any other Woman, but not me. I read too deeply into them and given my gifts, see too much to just brush them aside. I still think of the South and everything it holds for me. Memories that are painful to bear await me. I have this vision as I ride, it is as though I see myself from behind. My shoulders and upper back bare. The paints embedded under my skin blaze a picture of the past. If it wasnt for the meaning... I'd love to see it daily. Jerus knows Im marked. I know it. I wear the symbols of those since past about my body. Tattoo'd like some prized animal... 1 of the 5 bother me. I can feel each line and each colored area, though I cannot see it without a mirror. 3 were given to me when I had no choice in the matter. Dove's.. Bloods and Hawks. I know Jerus doesnt mind Dove and Bloods. The "red dove" craddled over my right breast and the horns of bosk with drops of blood, are more of a memorial now. But... I think He is beginning to resent Hawks. Across the back shoulder, a huge imprint of a Hawk in flight.. does it symbolize something? Was it a way for Hawksclaw to hang onto me long past when He was gone? Perhaps that is why it hurts now.. more so than the day He had it placed. 4 Ahn's of lying there while some Man tapped the ink into my skin, brought tears to my eyes then. Now.. it brings tears to remember. My other two.. were placed in the City once I left the Plains to be with Papa Khilintyme. I had one to remember lil and the other to remember Papa Mars. They are small and lay safely around my left ankle. Mars gave me the idea for links of a chain around the ankle for He always held me captive when I was with Him. The other..A small amulet hangs from one of the links with the Gorean letter of "C" for my dear sister, lil. Funny how Jerus never mentioned it, maybe He never saw it. I dont know. Each one is something I rarely discuss with anyone... until today. I had hoped to add Blood, Dove and my 1st son's amulet to the chain, just never knew how to ask Jerus... or if He would allow Hawks and Steel to be included. Trajen too, He deserves a spot there.
I walked Alpha for a time today.. besides Jerus' wagon and checked out the wheel He so ardently desired me to see. He thinks He smart.. scratching my name into the wheel.. "Silkens wheel" like it is some threat for me to behave. I waited until Kota had to take a break and paused the wagon, before I quickly took out my dagger and changed it to "Silkens wonderful" Heh... let's see how long it takes for Him to notice.
Kota... sheshshhhh the boy is growing. Ive been alerted to my son wishing to speak to me about things... and frankly, Im not ready to answer His questions. I know the Boy feels the growing interest in the people and going back to the land where He was born has spawned many questions about the past. Ive avoided Him as best I could, hoping Jerus would tell Him when and where our little meeting would take place. Shanay being His twin, will be there also no doubt. It will be hard for me to face them with the truth. I wish them to have no regrets as to my past and their blood Father and our choices. But I fear Dakota's anger, He is, after all a full blooded Tuchuk and some things are frowned upon. Shanay... I fear will be ashamed. A Mother's natural instincts are to protect their children from harm and embarassment... but this could destroy them, or make them stronger. Jerus is my guide.. even if I dont agree with Him, I will accept His judgement on the talk. It is true I want to share stories of the past about me, the childrendont know much being that Im afraid to speak of it. They cling to Jerus' every word when He tells them of my younger years. Skies... I wish this was easy... but if it was, then.. I wouldnt be that boskheaded, stubborn.. red head that Jerus loves. Claim amnesia?? Bah... He would see through that in an ihn. What to do.. what to do...
1. Alter or erase certain tattoo's
2. Figure out a way to tell Dakota and Shanay who I was
3. Talk to Bo
4. Come to terms with how my children see me
5. Be proud of who and what I was
6. Be proud of what I am
7. Make Jerus Proud
8. Make Jerus smile more
9. Make Jerus fall in love with me all over again
10. Get more padding for saddle.. my arse hurts
11. Make ropes and chains disappear from Jerus' wagon
12. Fall in love with Jerus all over again
13. Love Jerus for the rest of my life
14. Love Jerus for the rest of my life
15. Love Jerus for the rest of my life
16. Love Jerus for the rest of my life
17. Love Jerus for the rest of my life
18. ... well, You know.
Page 21 (4/24/2006) GoodBye Winter
Jerus and I left the Harigga two days before the rest of the Tuchuk wagons paraded onto the plains for the move South. We have our sons, Blood and Mars, the twins Kota and Shanay, Wily and Talia with us. The ontourage Jerus has supplied is phenominal. Over 1,000 men to guard and escort our wagons alone is staggering. With the older kids driving the main wagons and Jerus and I in saddle, it gives us much time together, which I think we needed. I have a hesitation to see the South lands again, mainly because of a secret brewing. Reservations of the future weigh heavily on me. I try to let destiny prevail, but it still comes down to all the "what if's?"
With the time alone on the Plains, Ive had many ahn's to just sit and think of things this past year. It is good to see Bo sitting proudly on the Grey's. I had my doubts of late as to if He was a good Ubar, but seeing Him organize the massive caravan's and keep moral in camp high, Ive opened my eyes and must give Him credit for His job. Bo has always held a place in my heart.. I think I fear losing Him too... afraid to get close because they always die. Sometimes, I think it a curse to love them... for while they ride the Winds, we are left here missing them... wondering what we could have said or done differently. No one will ever replace my feelings for Bloodhawk... He will always be the best in my eyes, but it isnt an easy job for a Man to take. I must stop comparing and wishing Bloodhawk was still here. Deep down inside, I think I resented Him for holding the Grey's... mad that Blood wasnt here anymore. Angry that His arms that held me were gone... the arms that comforted me and the voice that calmed me in times of need. I loved Him.. still do. He gave me the chance to be what I was and instilled the values in me that I hold to this day. I didnt get to say GoodBye... it hurts.. so much. I never was able to let Him or the other Elders go... but, as my years increase, I hope my wisdom does too. I placed very high expectations on Bo, so large that no Man alive, not even Jerus could fill them. For this, Ive felt guilty lately and perhaps after we settle on the South lands, I could sit and speak with Bo. I am learning restraint and consequences of actions... Jerus is a wise teacher. He knew it would take time to show these things to me, I am very set in my ways, but I do see many error's of my ways and work to change them. This partly because of the children. I see I cannot go off half cocked... impail first, ask questions later is no longer befitting of a Woman such as myself. I have a Mate and a family now to think of. They look to me for guidence and proper behavior... I must somehow show them what it is to be a Tuchuk Free Woman.... somehow.
The wagon wheels spin, protesting each turn over the terrain with a creak or groan now and then. Just before dusk, I swear you can hear the Elders and voices of those past to the Winds calling out with joy that once more the feared Tuchuks swarm the Plains. Every critter in our path scampers out of the way of trampling bosk and heavy rolling wagons. Warriors ride tall in the saddle with hoot n hollars across the dusty invisable, yet familar trails. I too am proud... proud to be aside Jerus and riding back to warm lands. Anxious to see green again and feel the warmth of the air. Women and slaves cast off their Winter furs and saunter with pride among the Men and the fires. Warriors ride the herds in the heat... to return to camp...sweaty and tired. Stealing a glimpse of one of them exiting the bathing wagon... I always was a sucker for clean...glistening muscles.
It's time to grow, like the grasses stretch upward...baiting the bosk to feast... I must grow too. I will listen more carefully to Shi and Kam. I know they wouldnt steer me wrong. And I will rely on Dash and Tarra for advice.... they are good Women and can teach me much. But most of all.. I will keep open lines with Jerus... He is my greatest teacher and the love of my life. Without Him, I am just an empty shell... a lump of clay without a design. He molds me well.....
.... The wheels on the wagon go round and round... round and round... round and round... the wheels on the wagon go round and round.. all across the plains.
With the time alone on the Plains, Ive had many ahn's to just sit and think of things this past year. It is good to see Bo sitting proudly on the Grey's. I had my doubts of late as to if He was a good Ubar, but seeing Him organize the massive caravan's and keep moral in camp high, Ive opened my eyes and must give Him credit for His job. Bo has always held a place in my heart.. I think I fear losing Him too... afraid to get close because they always die. Sometimes, I think it a curse to love them... for while they ride the Winds, we are left here missing them... wondering what we could have said or done differently. No one will ever replace my feelings for Bloodhawk... He will always be the best in my eyes, but it isnt an easy job for a Man to take. I must stop comparing and wishing Bloodhawk was still here. Deep down inside, I think I resented Him for holding the Grey's... mad that Blood wasnt here anymore. Angry that His arms that held me were gone... the arms that comforted me and the voice that calmed me in times of need. I loved Him.. still do. He gave me the chance to be what I was and instilled the values in me that I hold to this day. I didnt get to say GoodBye... it hurts.. so much. I never was able to let Him or the other Elders go... but, as my years increase, I hope my wisdom does too. I placed very high expectations on Bo, so large that no Man alive, not even Jerus could fill them. For this, Ive felt guilty lately and perhaps after we settle on the South lands, I could sit and speak with Bo. I am learning restraint and consequences of actions... Jerus is a wise teacher. He knew it would take time to show these things to me, I am very set in my ways, but I do see many error's of my ways and work to change them. This partly because of the children. I see I cannot go off half cocked... impail first, ask questions later is no longer befitting of a Woman such as myself. I have a Mate and a family now to think of. They look to me for guidence and proper behavior... I must somehow show them what it is to be a Tuchuk Free Woman.... somehow.
The wagon wheels spin, protesting each turn over the terrain with a creak or groan now and then. Just before dusk, I swear you can hear the Elders and voices of those past to the Winds calling out with joy that once more the feared Tuchuks swarm the Plains. Every critter in our path scampers out of the way of trampling bosk and heavy rolling wagons. Warriors ride tall in the saddle with hoot n hollars across the dusty invisable, yet familar trails. I too am proud... proud to be aside Jerus and riding back to warm lands. Anxious to see green again and feel the warmth of the air. Women and slaves cast off their Winter furs and saunter with pride among the Men and the fires. Warriors ride the herds in the heat... to return to camp...sweaty and tired. Stealing a glimpse of one of them exiting the bathing wagon... I always was a sucker for clean...glistening muscles.
It's time to grow, like the grasses stretch upward...baiting the bosk to feast... I must grow too. I will listen more carefully to Shi and Kam. I know they wouldnt steer me wrong. And I will rely on Dash and Tarra for advice.... they are good Women and can teach me much. But most of all.. I will keep open lines with Jerus... He is my greatest teacher and the love of my life. Without Him, I am just an empty shell... a lump of clay without a design. He molds me well.....
.... The wheels on the wagon go round and round... round and round... round and round... the wheels on the wagon go round and round.. all across the plains.
Page 20 (4/13/2006) It's a girl
Talia Neill... a name befitting the newest child born to The Neill/Navarro bloodline. Earth date, April 9th 2006, weighing 10lbs 2 Oz. She came into this world with a cry and Her Father holding Her to the Skies. Dash was there to help and Im thankful She was. First thing I did was have a big ole bota of Paga... I believe I earned it... and ever consecutive one that follows. I hope Jerus gives me a few months off this time... before deciding He wants the next one.
Tarra and Shi had a girl also. Im so happy for them. Both our girl's will be close in age, so I hope they can grow up together.
I do have a bit of the post-pregger blues... who doesnt after carrying the child all those months and suddenly.. it is gone.
I think I'll go raid Jerus' special brew.
Tarra and Shi had a girl also. Im so happy for them. Both our girl's will be close in age, so I hope they can grow up together.
I do have a bit of the post-pregger blues... who doesnt after carrying the child all those months and suddenly.. it is gone.
I think I'll go raid Jerus' special brew.
Page 19 (2/18/2006) Seperation
Tired... the only thing that comes to mind as I sit here and write down my thoughts. Why bother?? They are my thoughts, no one elses... I know them.. so why imortalize them in these pages? Ehhhh guess someday many many envars from now when I start getting senile, I can look back and remember.
So many changes as of late. It's hard to keep up. Mahalah is a slave again...cant say Im surprized... it is what she wanted. Trajen is dead... seems Turia has a hand in it... Taci is dead.. and Jerus says it's all pari's fault. Tarra is.. well... distant. Nava is on this... hat kick... interesting. New people keep popping up at the fires.. those that have only been there a few days or weeks are already Commanders and scarred, while others that have been around for hands upon hands still wait for detail. This, of course doesnt surprise me... seeing how Bo is running things lately. Sometimes men think with the wrong body part... Ive seen it in the past with other Ubar's and Warriors... Bo isnt any different.. I did think once that He would be, but once He became comfortable with things.. He too developed the "Inflated Ego/Nads syndrome" It makes me miss Bloodhawk so much. He was the first.. the original Ubar of the Tuchuks.. He knew how to run things and keep everyone in the Tribe happy and safe. Blood didnt take crap from slaves, He didnt let them run around and talk how they wanted, and would kill one if they lifted a hand against anyone, free or slave. His people were His life and making them happy and comfortable was His number one priority. He didnt play favorites, or shun someone for their beliefs or ways... just so long as they protected the bosk, wagons and lands... He was satisfied. He kept Marsuitus and Hawksclaw informed of the needs and goings on of the group, rather than replacing them with someone who promised all good things. After all... what better way to climb the ladder to the greys, then befriend the one that holds them. I wouldnt sleep... could you?
The Tribe spins in a downward spiral that Im not sure it can recover from it. Infighting... Bickering... Plays for attention... Inflated Ego's... People taking desperate measures to gain favoror standing with others... it's sad really. This is why so many Ubar's come and go. I've spoken with several that are no longer happy with the Tribe and have thought of leaving... heading to another part of the Plains to live. I've done it before.. it isnt so bad. Jerus and I have seperated from the Harigga right now... taking the twins, Wily..Blood and Mars to the clan fires... more so for the younger one's protection with the threat of Turia retailiating against the claim of responsibility in Trajen's death.. or if they did it... further attacks. Another reason is.. Kyra had her cubs. Twins, a boy and girl.. and soon, she will take the long walk and make her way to the skies with the many generations of larl's before her. her bloodline is special and with each new birth, the values instilled grow deeper. I see new things in every cub and more and more pride. Each new bloodline is different, but one thing stays the same.. their protection of the people and the land never faulters. Jerus says the cubs with remain with the clan to be trained as it always had been. I, myself am sad to see this Kyra go... as I have been with each. The young female cub will be branded with the white dagger and the symbol for # 8. #7 will be greatly missed, she stayed with us when I and the twins were alone on the plains. Many memories will remain of this larl... for sure.
My dreams have started again. The visions in waking tend to distract me. After talking to Jerus, it seems to happen when I am pregnant. Oh and yes... surprise, I am again. Jerus wants a daughter, He says this one will be as it is written to be. Something to do with finishing my training, and all... I dont understand His words or thinking sometimes... but Ive learned to trust Him.
Last night, I asked Him to alter the brand on my thigh. I am not ashamed of this. It is my past and what made me. He agreed and we proceeded to change the brand from a Hawk in flight, to a diving Hawk with a quiva in it's talons. Not the prettiest brand, but none the less... it marks me of the Neill Clan now.
I worry for my Sister, Tarra. I can feel the energy around Her and it is clouded. She worries for Her Father and Chay... and is upset it seems over learning about Her true Mother. Maybe Kam should stay away longer and let Her cool down before returning... He may get a few unexpected bumps and bruises, I think. Though I've tried to keep the lines of communication open with Her, I feel myself pulling away from Her and the other's. I dont know why... maybe its the knowing what is going to happen if the Tribe continues in this spiral. Perhaps... I dont want to be here to watch it all come crashing down again. Time will tell.
I think I will get the kids bathed and they have been wanting a story, so... Im off to play Wonder Mom.
In the end... there is only the bosk.. the grass and the sky
So many changes as of late. It's hard to keep up. Mahalah is a slave again...cant say Im surprized... it is what she wanted. Trajen is dead... seems Turia has a hand in it... Taci is dead.. and Jerus says it's all pari's fault. Tarra is.. well... distant. Nava is on this... hat kick... interesting. New people keep popping up at the fires.. those that have only been there a few days or weeks are already Commanders and scarred, while others that have been around for hands upon hands still wait for detail. This, of course doesnt surprise me... seeing how Bo is running things lately. Sometimes men think with the wrong body part... Ive seen it in the past with other Ubar's and Warriors... Bo isnt any different.. I did think once that He would be, but once He became comfortable with things.. He too developed the "Inflated Ego/Nads syndrome" It makes me miss Bloodhawk so much. He was the first.. the original Ubar of the Tuchuks.. He knew how to run things and keep everyone in the Tribe happy and safe. Blood didnt take crap from slaves, He didnt let them run around and talk how they wanted, and would kill one if they lifted a hand against anyone, free or slave. His people were His life and making them happy and comfortable was His number one priority. He didnt play favorites, or shun someone for their beliefs or ways... just so long as they protected the bosk, wagons and lands... He was satisfied. He kept Marsuitus and Hawksclaw informed of the needs and goings on of the group, rather than replacing them with someone who promised all good things. After all... what better way to climb the ladder to the greys, then befriend the one that holds them. I wouldnt sleep... could you?
The Tribe spins in a downward spiral that Im not sure it can recover from it. Infighting... Bickering... Plays for attention... Inflated Ego's... People taking desperate measures to gain favoror standing with others... it's sad really. This is why so many Ubar's come and go. I've spoken with several that are no longer happy with the Tribe and have thought of leaving... heading to another part of the Plains to live. I've done it before.. it isnt so bad. Jerus and I have seperated from the Harigga right now... taking the twins, Wily..Blood and Mars to the clan fires... more so for the younger one's protection with the threat of Turia retailiating against the claim of responsibility in Trajen's death.. or if they did it... further attacks. Another reason is.. Kyra had her cubs. Twins, a boy and girl.. and soon, she will take the long walk and make her way to the skies with the many generations of larl's before her. her bloodline is special and with each new birth, the values instilled grow deeper. I see new things in every cub and more and more pride. Each new bloodline is different, but one thing stays the same.. their protection of the people and the land never faulters. Jerus says the cubs with remain with the clan to be trained as it always had been. I, myself am sad to see this Kyra go... as I have been with each. The young female cub will be branded with the white dagger and the symbol for # 8. #7 will be greatly missed, she stayed with us when I and the twins were alone on the plains. Many memories will remain of this larl... for sure.
My dreams have started again. The visions in waking tend to distract me. After talking to Jerus, it seems to happen when I am pregnant. Oh and yes... surprise, I am again. Jerus wants a daughter, He says this one will be as it is written to be. Something to do with finishing my training, and all... I dont understand His words or thinking sometimes... but Ive learned to trust Him.
Last night, I asked Him to alter the brand on my thigh. I am not ashamed of this. It is my past and what made me. He agreed and we proceeded to change the brand from a Hawk in flight, to a diving Hawk with a quiva in it's talons. Not the prettiest brand, but none the less... it marks me of the Neill Clan now.
I worry for my Sister, Tarra. I can feel the energy around Her and it is clouded. She worries for Her Father and Chay... and is upset it seems over learning about Her true Mother. Maybe Kam should stay away longer and let Her cool down before returning... He may get a few unexpected bumps and bruises, I think. Though I've tried to keep the lines of communication open with Her, I feel myself pulling away from Her and the other's. I dont know why... maybe its the knowing what is going to happen if the Tribe continues in this spiral. Perhaps... I dont want to be here to watch it all come crashing down again. Time will tell.
I think I will get the kids bathed and they have been wanting a story, so... Im off to play Wonder Mom.
In the end... there is only the bosk.. the grass and the sky
Page 18 (1/17/2006) Distance
It has been some time since Ive picked up this journal. Perhaps all the hustle of things lately has made it so... I dont think I would have even done so this night except for the fact I stumbled over my hiding spot for it while cleaning.
The newest child in the Silkenhawk, Jerus bloodline was born. Wily as we have nicknamed Him until Jerus gives Him His name, is a strong beautiful boy. He has my firey hair and Jerus' haunting blue eyes. I look at Him and see life on the plains within Him. The fourth son of Jerus... Mars, Blood, Dakota.. and now Wily. Funny how you reflect on your own life with the birth of a child. You wonder if you will be everything He needs... Strong yet loving.. guiding and caring, firm and demanding. Everything Jerus is... nothing I am.
Jerus left the other night. A journey of danger from which He might not return. I cannot bear another night without Him. Another threat on the winds has gripped me in it's embrace. I have sent word to Papa Khili that I wish to return to Him. I know not where He resides now, but hopefully my scouts will be able to track Him from taverns and Paga dens. My adopted Papa Khili means the world to me. I need Him now. My weakness you see, is my past. I need the strenght of the men I hold dear and love. I feel that power just in Jerus. To know that He is only a few steps away, or a hollar by the air... allows me to breath and stand tall...fearless. He is blinded now by His past and His ways. This trip could perhaps let Him search His soul and return Him to that which would bring peace.... if He would only truely allow it. Many times He spoke the words that He was free from His demons... it was a false prophecy. What He wanted to believe and what He needed to believe.. still He was not really ready to accept it. Only then can He return and be Jerus. I have thought of searching for Him... professing my love and faith in Him.... but it is not I that can break past those walls He hides behind. It is He, Himself that must come to terms with what He is and has become. Sometimes we all are deaf to the words of someone we love, taking advantage of their always being there... blind to the one that is forever standing beside them, not behind, not infront, but with.... Dumb to feelings we cause by our own desires and habits... and mute to the words that one may need to hear. When He is ready to see this, He will return. He will know Silkenhawk.
~Without Him.... I am nothing.
"He's got style.... Got no soul,
He's got everything that a Man could want from the world of Gor.
He's got love... all He needs,
If He can grab you by the throat you know He's gonna make you bleed.
He's got a knife... in your back,
And you never know the turn but you know your going off the track.
Steely eyes... cold and blue,
Though you cannot hide away you know He's gonna get to you.
Taking off down the road.. everywhich way will He go.
Hold on... to the night... Hold on.... to the night....
In this crazy land..... there's a stranger on the road."
The newest child in the Silkenhawk, Jerus bloodline was born. Wily as we have nicknamed Him until Jerus gives Him His name, is a strong beautiful boy. He has my firey hair and Jerus' haunting blue eyes. I look at Him and see life on the plains within Him. The fourth son of Jerus... Mars, Blood, Dakota.. and now Wily. Funny how you reflect on your own life with the birth of a child. You wonder if you will be everything He needs... Strong yet loving.. guiding and caring, firm and demanding. Everything Jerus is... nothing I am.
Jerus left the other night. A journey of danger from which He might not return. I cannot bear another night without Him. Another threat on the winds has gripped me in it's embrace. I have sent word to Papa Khili that I wish to return to Him. I know not where He resides now, but hopefully my scouts will be able to track Him from taverns and Paga dens. My adopted Papa Khili means the world to me. I need Him now. My weakness you see, is my past. I need the strenght of the men I hold dear and love. I feel that power just in Jerus. To know that He is only a few steps away, or a hollar by the air... allows me to breath and stand tall...fearless. He is blinded now by His past and His ways. This trip could perhaps let Him search His soul and return Him to that which would bring peace.... if He would only truely allow it. Many times He spoke the words that He was free from His demons... it was a false prophecy. What He wanted to believe and what He needed to believe.. still He was not really ready to accept it. Only then can He return and be Jerus. I have thought of searching for Him... professing my love and faith in Him.... but it is not I that can break past those walls He hides behind. It is He, Himself that must come to terms with what He is and has become. Sometimes we all are deaf to the words of someone we love, taking advantage of their always being there... blind to the one that is forever standing beside them, not behind, not infront, but with.... Dumb to feelings we cause by our own desires and habits... and mute to the words that one may need to hear. When He is ready to see this, He will return. He will know Silkenhawk.
~Without Him.... I am nothing.
"He's got style.... Got no soul,
He's got everything that a Man could want from the world of Gor.
He's got love... all He needs,
If He can grab you by the throat you know He's gonna make you bleed.
He's got a knife... in your back,
And you never know the turn but you know your going off the track.
Steely eyes... cold and blue,
Though you cannot hide away you know He's gonna get to you.
Taking off down the road.. everywhich way will He go.
Hold on... to the night... Hold on.... to the night....
In this crazy land..... there's a stranger on the road."
Page 17 (12/4/2005) Another turning older
After how many years does one stop counting Birthdays. I was stabilized at 21, the best year of my life. In two days time, it will be my Birthday. Im not sure Jerus knows... the other's werent around way back when to remember, so they dont either. I guess I am glad of this. I never did consider the day anything special. Once your stabilized, you dont feel any older or look it for that matter. So, why bother? The twins know, but I made them promise not to tell Jerus. I dont want Him to have to think He needs to do something. I'd just be happy to have Him around. He's been so busy lately, I feel I never get to see Him unless He is hollaring at me for one of my recent adventures. The ankle chain is gone. I promised to stay around the wagon, but the detail of ten remain. Jerus may appear to trust me, I know better. He knows me all too well. Sometimes that's good... most of the time, it's bad. He knows what Im thinking before I do, I believe. He's known me since He was a young boy...He's had time to watch, read... learn and memorize most everything Ive done. I do however want to go and visit Tarra's clinic. She says She had lots of interesting things there. Might be good for Her to see if She can determine how big the baby is at this point. I have a tendency to deliver early cause of large birth weights. This child is no exception. Tarra says Im waddling. I think She is full of boskdung. Me... Silkenhawk, waddle? Bah... beyond me. If She wasnt my most loved Sister, I would have popped Her one in the nose. Then Shi and Jerus would pounce on me and I'd have to dish out an ass-whoopin to them. I have the feeling that Tarra will be pregnant within the next moon's turning. In a way Im happy... but also mad. I was hoping to get a month or so of knock down, drag out fighting in with Her. But cant if She's with child. Just as She has refrained from kicking my arse, I will have to do the same.
Dakota and Shanay are very excited to have the baby arrive. Shanay will make a wonderful Mother someday. She is already setting up places for Her new baby brother to be with Her. She is trying to make blanket out of a leaft over piece of fur. It is fun to watch Her learning to sew, cant count how many times She poked Her finger with the needle. Dakota on the other hand is excited, but I think alittle jealous. He has won over Jerus' attention and I feel Kota is worried that Jerus wont have time for Him once "Wily" arrives. I have tried to explain to them that even though both our time will be limited, we still love them very much, and right now, their new brother will need extra attention because He cannot do for Himself like they can. I will do my best to set time aside to spend with each one, so they dont feel left out.
Jerus came home with a gift for me today... Its beautiful. A "blood jade" pendant, the symbol of their names encircled in one ring, surrounded by the four bosk horns, slightly carved into the stone iteslf, and filled with silver. A matching bracelet, same design. It took my breath away.
I had also hoped to get away for a few days with Jerus, before the birth. Just some quiet time alone to enjoy each other.
It could happen.........
Dakota and Shanay are very excited to have the baby arrive. Shanay will make a wonderful Mother someday. She is already setting up places for Her new baby brother to be with Her. She is trying to make blanket out of a leaft over piece of fur. It is fun to watch Her learning to sew, cant count how many times She poked Her finger with the needle. Dakota on the other hand is excited, but I think alittle jealous. He has won over Jerus' attention and I feel Kota is worried that Jerus wont have time for Him once "Wily" arrives. I have tried to explain to them that even though both our time will be limited, we still love them very much, and right now, their new brother will need extra attention because He cannot do for Himself like they can. I will do my best to set time aside to spend with each one, so they dont feel left out.
Jerus came home with a gift for me today... Its beautiful. A "blood jade" pendant, the symbol of their names encircled in one ring, surrounded by the four bosk horns, slightly carved into the stone iteslf, and filled with silver. A matching bracelet, same design. It took my breath away.
I had also hoped to get away for a few days with Jerus, before the birth. Just some quiet time alone to enjoy each other.
It could happen.........
Page 16 (12/1/2005) Caged
I've seen the look in a captured animal's eyes... How they pace the cage, scanning past each bar, looking out to distant path's they once roamed. Anguish, pain and even fear mask their expressions. How they would rip through anyone that got in the way of escape. Or is it the love of freedom they yearn for... the wind in their face as they ran the open lands either hunting or playing.
I have no bar's... no cage... no chains... no keeper poking me with a goad or striking me with a stick to taunt me into lashing out... heck, I dont even have a lock on the wagon door... yet.. there is this invisable barrier that I may not cross. So it has been deemed by Jerus' word. With my time for the babe coming into this world growing ever near, Jerus has grown more protective and sheltering of me. His detail of ten now shadow me everywhere. I must resort to throwing them out after awhile. Jax, the head of the guards... oversee's the other nine... Enu, Razz, Usi, Seth, Nero, Eos, Ike, Larz and Leon. The nine report to Jax, Jax reports to Jort.. and Jort heads to Jerus. Jort is the eyes and ears of Jerus. Jax isnt a hard Man to get along with... Infact, He does seem to go alittle easy on me considering what Ive put Him through these past hands. I cant count how many times He has retrieved me from somewhere I wasnt supposed to be. All this and He never told Jort or Jerus. Yet 2 days ago, my luck ran out. After the security had been tightened because of a run in with the "Dark One"... I had felt that gnawing pain to roam the plains. I gave into my desires and cut a hole in the wagon's canvas... disappearing into the shadows for a nightime ride. Needless to say, Jax had to tell Jort this time. I had been gone for some ahn's before the first sightings of the detail plus one were spotted. I did my best to outride them, but, in my condition, I could not push Alpha to His potential. Overcome quickly with harsh words, growls and grunts... the once ten... now eleven, reined Alpha and I back to the Harigga... Number eleven???... Jort. And boy was He pissed. Scolding me like a child all the way back to the Wagons. "Jerus will know of this for sure, Silken... and He will not be pleased." That's all I heard... the whole way... the whole time. Honestly, I think He was just upset that He had to leave the eye candy back at the fires to search for my sorry backside. ::snickers::
So now, Once again... I am caged within the wagon. Pacing.. dreaming of distant lands and the open freedom of the air on the plains. I dont not know what Jerus will say, or how He will react. I will try to plead my case and tell Him how much this is draining me further. Jax has placed a steel ring around my right ankle and attached a chain long enough to walk the wagon and out onto the platform, but no further. Of course, my lock picks have been removed and anything else I could fashion into a pick taken out. Damn men. Sometimes Jerus talks too much. Why did He have to tell Jort of my tendencies? And why did Jort tell Jax. So unfair. Jerus insists I be glued to His side at all times now. Ehhhh ya gotta love that Man.
I can only sit here and think on the new babe now. Im sure He will recognize my voice, with all the talking Ive been doing. Im wearing Jerus' tunic's now. Nothing else fits. At least Im not as big as I was with the twins. Jerus seems excited lately. Happier than Ive ever seen Him since returning home. Though He wont admit it, I think He too is growing impatient to see His newest son. I love that Tuchuk so much. If my history is correct, this child will be the 3rd son of Jerus. I know tradition is not to name a son until they learn the quiva and such, but I just never could walk around calling for 1st son of... 2nd son of... bah... as I did Dakota, this child will have a nickname, until the day Jerus gives Him His Tuchuk name. I think I will call Him, Wily. It is afterall... my nickname for Jerus.. "The Wily Tuchuk" the air I breathe.. the blood coursing through my veins... the one my heart beats for..... the love of my life....Neill.
Have I mentioned that I love Jerus?
I have no bar's... no cage... no chains... no keeper poking me with a goad or striking me with a stick to taunt me into lashing out... heck, I dont even have a lock on the wagon door... yet.. there is this invisable barrier that I may not cross. So it has been deemed by Jerus' word. With my time for the babe coming into this world growing ever near, Jerus has grown more protective and sheltering of me. His detail of ten now shadow me everywhere. I must resort to throwing them out after awhile. Jax, the head of the guards... oversee's the other nine... Enu, Razz, Usi, Seth, Nero, Eos, Ike, Larz and Leon. The nine report to Jax, Jax reports to Jort.. and Jort heads to Jerus. Jort is the eyes and ears of Jerus. Jax isnt a hard Man to get along with... Infact, He does seem to go alittle easy on me considering what Ive put Him through these past hands. I cant count how many times He has retrieved me from somewhere I wasnt supposed to be. All this and He never told Jort or Jerus. Yet 2 days ago, my luck ran out. After the security had been tightened because of a run in with the "Dark One"... I had felt that gnawing pain to roam the plains. I gave into my desires and cut a hole in the wagon's canvas... disappearing into the shadows for a nightime ride. Needless to say, Jax had to tell Jort this time. I had been gone for some ahn's before the first sightings of the detail plus one were spotted. I did my best to outride them, but, in my condition, I could not push Alpha to His potential. Overcome quickly with harsh words, growls and grunts... the once ten... now eleven, reined Alpha and I back to the Harigga... Number eleven???... Jort. And boy was He pissed. Scolding me like a child all the way back to the Wagons. "Jerus will know of this for sure, Silken... and He will not be pleased." That's all I heard... the whole way... the whole time. Honestly, I think He was just upset that He had to leave the eye candy back at the fires to search for my sorry backside. ::snickers::
So now, Once again... I am caged within the wagon. Pacing.. dreaming of distant lands and the open freedom of the air on the plains. I dont not know what Jerus will say, or how He will react. I will try to plead my case and tell Him how much this is draining me further. Jax has placed a steel ring around my right ankle and attached a chain long enough to walk the wagon and out onto the platform, but no further. Of course, my lock picks have been removed and anything else I could fashion into a pick taken out. Damn men. Sometimes Jerus talks too much. Why did He have to tell Jort of my tendencies? And why did Jort tell Jax. So unfair. Jerus insists I be glued to His side at all times now. Ehhhh ya gotta love that Man.
I can only sit here and think on the new babe now. Im sure He will recognize my voice, with all the talking Ive been doing. Im wearing Jerus' tunic's now. Nothing else fits. At least Im not as big as I was with the twins. Jerus seems excited lately. Happier than Ive ever seen Him since returning home. Though He wont admit it, I think He too is growing impatient to see His newest son. I love that Tuchuk so much. If my history is correct, this child will be the 3rd son of Jerus. I know tradition is not to name a son until they learn the quiva and such, but I just never could walk around calling for 1st son of... 2nd son of... bah... as I did Dakota, this child will have a nickname, until the day Jerus gives Him His Tuchuk name. I think I will call Him, Wily. It is afterall... my nickname for Jerus.. "The Wily Tuchuk" the air I breathe.. the blood coursing through my veins... the one my heart beats for..... the love of my life....Neill.
Have I mentioned that I love Jerus?
Page 15 (11/13/2005) Let the games begin
Jerus and I slept late today. Tarra and Shi had their joining last night, which was beautiful to say the least. She was absolutely stunning... Kam had to close Shi's mouth once. Shi isnt a man of many words, but... The look in His eyes told volumes. I am happy now that Tarra can be happy and not worry about this anymore.
After the ceremony, Jerus wisked me off to the wagon for a talk. I am still sore from my run in with Declan. Needless to say, Jerus is none too happy with that outcome. He says Giving Declan permission to paddle me was a mistake, as He did it too hard. And well, dropping me to the ground, wasnt a good thing either. Tarra says the bruise is very colorfull... a nice hue of black, blue and yellow. Glad I cant see it. Jerus has also giving me ground rules, that I am not to be in the Harigga unless He, Shi or Kamchak, happen to be there. This... I am not happy about. I feel restrained and caged. I will definately have to work something out about this. Im gonna go nuts sitting in the wagon while waiting for one of them to drag their sorry arse's to the main fires.
The good news is.... Now that Tarra's joining is over... we can resume our prior "friendly" feud. We love to torment each other... and love to tangle more so. I can already see the lovely bruises that will be gracing each other's flesh from our little... romps. After all, what is a Sister for? To beat the crap outta, of course ! Wish people could see how much we love each other. And it does feel good to pop Her one in the nose now and then... Miss High and Mighty needs an attitude adjustment .... glad I can give it to Her now... once more. Talk about a way to relieve tension? I really need that too. Wont be long till we are both laughing and cussing at each other.
Kam and Shi's discussion with Bo was a big washout. I wonder if Bo has any idea what He is saying sometimes. The men seemed to make a good point in having a "Captain of the guards" so to speak. So many of the Guardians around could use someone like this, to fall back on and learn from.... since alot of the Warriors and the Ubar are always busy. So, Bo.. wouldnt agree. Wasnt my place to add to this... I actually kept a low profile.. surprise !
Well since none of the men are around... I think I'll go Bosk Tipping.. gotta wait alittle longer to beat up on Tarra. Dag Nabbit.
I'll get Her.....
After the ceremony, Jerus wisked me off to the wagon for a talk. I am still sore from my run in with Declan. Needless to say, Jerus is none too happy with that outcome. He says Giving Declan permission to paddle me was a mistake, as He did it too hard. And well, dropping me to the ground, wasnt a good thing either. Tarra says the bruise is very colorfull... a nice hue of black, blue and yellow. Glad I cant see it. Jerus has also giving me ground rules, that I am not to be in the Harigga unless He, Shi or Kamchak, happen to be there. This... I am not happy about. I feel restrained and caged. I will definately have to work something out about this. Im gonna go nuts sitting in the wagon while waiting for one of them to drag their sorry arse's to the main fires.
The good news is.... Now that Tarra's joining is over... we can resume our prior "friendly" feud. We love to torment each other... and love to tangle more so. I can already see the lovely bruises that will be gracing each other's flesh from our little... romps. After all, what is a Sister for? To beat the crap outta, of course ! Wish people could see how much we love each other. And it does feel good to pop Her one in the nose now and then... Miss High and Mighty needs an attitude adjustment .... glad I can give it to Her now... once more. Talk about a way to relieve tension? I really need that too. Wont be long till we are both laughing and cussing at each other.
Kam and Shi's discussion with Bo was a big washout. I wonder if Bo has any idea what He is saying sometimes. The men seemed to make a good point in having a "Captain of the guards" so to speak. So many of the Guardians around could use someone like this, to fall back on and learn from.... since alot of the Warriors and the Ubar are always busy. So, Bo.. wouldnt agree. Wasnt my place to add to this... I actually kept a low profile.. surprise !
Well since none of the men are around... I think I'll go Bosk Tipping.. gotta wait alittle longer to beat up on Tarra. Dag Nabbit.
I'll get Her.....
Page 14 (11/10/2005) The heart of a Sister
I have had so much on my mind lately that I have failed to recognize a sister in need. Tarra has become withdrawn and quiet. Her mood is no longer happy. I've been dealing with the sickness that comes with carrying a child, drinking the tea Tarra makes for me and once sitting... I could look within Her thoughts. She is very emotional and somewhat scaired. The delay in Her joining to Shi is weighing heavily on Her. While I am confident it will happen as planned in 2 days, Tarra's is stuck in a whirlwind of unsure feelings. I know what She feels, I felt the same way when things didnt progress as I had wished. I just hope I can bring some sort of comfort to Her and let Her know, I am there.... Upchuckin Tuchuk, or not. Im sure once the ceremony is over, She will feel much better. I can see Her thoughts and if they keep me awake at night, surely She is tormented by them too. As a Spex cannot see their own future, the vision only elude to possible bad happenings. When faced with the current situation, I am sure Tarra reads them as a terrible forecomming of doom. I wish I could assure Her that everything is fine and nothing will hinder Her special day or Her life. Shi is a good man... sometimes too calm for one such as Tarra. He's always been such. Nothing seems to ever bother Him where He would raise His voice or become angered. In this sense, He is much like Jerus, and I envy both of them for that. How they maintain such a calm facade, when I can barely hold a growl in my throat. I love Tarra as if She were my blood kin, the bond is strong and I know with the aid of my good thoughts... She will do fine.
The camp is filled with newcommers. Cana... Magena... and a new unscarred Warrior, Remulus. Cana is an interesting person. So timid and skittish, How She is even considered Tuchuk, I'll never know.. but.. ehhh who am I to judge right? I gave Her an "All about sex" book, passed down from Elder to Elder, in hopes She can stop blushing and becoming embarassed over the conversations at the fires. She is a hard worker, so... I find Her company not all that displeasing. Magena has come to us via a friendship Jerus had with Her father who has taken to ride the winds. She seems a nice Woman, but I have yet to really get to know Her. The bare cheeked warrior Rem. Interesting charature. He yawns alot.. and scratches His stomach constantly. I've offered blackwine to wake Him up and a salve to aid with the apparent rash... none seem to work. Kinda hard to believe He is Tuchuk, we hold such a love of life and the thrill of Tribe, He just seems to be lacking in that department. I dunno, maybe its the "New Man on the standard" jitters. He has made a raid on a traveling wagon that ventured to close to our lands...bring back much booty and an errant slave girl. I dont see the wench lasting very long with such an attitude.
To my surprise last night as I ventured to the fires... Spiirit has returned to the people as well. Though not as anceint as I... She did remember me as I did Her. It was nice to see the "old" visonairy again. Always fun to talk of old times and yes, even to laugh at misfortunes or.. blunders, shall we say, of past times.
I wish Jerus would get out of this funk He is in. I know what troubles Him, as He has complained about slaves inparticular. One specificly that He is growing increasing annoyed with. He has told me He will not put up with it anymore.. and this is good. Maybe find herself on another's chain or worse. I personally could care less. It is His arms that hold me at night and His voice that wakes me in the morning. Any slave may think they hold His attention for the moment and that He can think of nothing but them.. truth is, it is I that capture His thoughts... and His heart. They are but a few ahn of passing the time, nothing more than an object to take up the idle time. It is I that He always rides to ... the last thing He see's at night.. and the first thing He see's every morning. I am secure in His love... too bad they arent.. it shows.
Time for more tea. Im tired of digging holes.
The camp is filled with newcommers. Cana... Magena... and a new unscarred Warrior, Remulus. Cana is an interesting person. So timid and skittish, How She is even considered Tuchuk, I'll never know.. but.. ehhh who am I to judge right? I gave Her an "All about sex" book, passed down from Elder to Elder, in hopes She can stop blushing and becoming embarassed over the conversations at the fires. She is a hard worker, so... I find Her company not all that displeasing. Magena has come to us via a friendship Jerus had with Her father who has taken to ride the winds. She seems a nice Woman, but I have yet to really get to know Her. The bare cheeked warrior Rem. Interesting charature. He yawns alot.. and scratches His stomach constantly. I've offered blackwine to wake Him up and a salve to aid with the apparent rash... none seem to work. Kinda hard to believe He is Tuchuk, we hold such a love of life and the thrill of Tribe, He just seems to be lacking in that department. I dunno, maybe its the "New Man on the standard" jitters. He has made a raid on a traveling wagon that ventured to close to our lands...bring back much booty and an errant slave girl. I dont see the wench lasting very long with such an attitude.
To my surprise last night as I ventured to the fires... Spiirit has returned to the people as well. Though not as anceint as I... She did remember me as I did Her. It was nice to see the "old" visonairy again. Always fun to talk of old times and yes, even to laugh at misfortunes or.. blunders, shall we say, of past times.
I wish Jerus would get out of this funk He is in. I know what troubles Him, as He has complained about slaves inparticular. One specificly that He is growing increasing annoyed with. He has told me He will not put up with it anymore.. and this is good. Maybe find herself on another's chain or worse. I personally could care less. It is His arms that hold me at night and His voice that wakes me in the morning. Any slave may think they hold His attention for the moment and that He can think of nothing but them.. truth is, it is I that capture His thoughts... and His heart. They are but a few ahn of passing the time, nothing more than an object to take up the idle time. It is I that He always rides to ... the last thing He see's at night.. and the first thing He see's every morning. I am secure in His love... too bad they arent.. it shows.
Time for more tea. Im tired of digging holes.
Page 13 (11/5/2005) Back from the plains
Jerus and I returned from some long awaited rest and relaxation after our Joining. It was the best time, Ive had in a long long while. Just the two of us, in the warmth of the springs, near the fire and alone to share and enjoy each other without interuption. Not many know yet... I am still surprised myself... but We returned with an added bonus. We are expecting our first child. I know He wanted lots and lots of kids, but this was so quick. He said it is what He wanted. Though Im scaired, it is what I want too. He hasnt made the announcement yet, but most know. How can you not when there's an Upchuckin Tuchuk runnin around. Tarra knows for sure, as does Shi and Bo... Dash and Kam. They are who I am around the most. We havent told the twins yet, but they've been pestering for siblings since we came back home. Im sure they will be excited.
My mind has been eased alot.... Declan has returned and resumed His position as my guard. Makes me feel much better to have Him around, since the Escorts Jerus assigned me are so.... blah. No humor or personality. I guess that's better. But, Declan will always hold a special place in my heart. He is like a brother and we love to tease and torment each other, even though it pisses some off. They dont understand our relationship... and frankly it doesnt matter. Jerus knows all, He knows I am a very touchy feely type person... was bred into me long ago. I see no harm in a Woman having a Man as a friend. Yes, there are lines to be drawn and not crossed... and those have been established. I feel safe around Declan... and I need that now. But it is rare that Jerus lets me out of His sight now anyways. Wherever He goes, it seems I go. Glued to His hip, He will have it no other way. Cant say I blame Him, I am quite a handfull and the threats of the Dark One from the past still fresh on our minds.
Im looking forward to Tarra and Shi's joining. Ive made a fur for Shi with His emblem on it. Took me some time to get the dyes to set right and the proper colors, but it has turned out well. And for Tarra, Ive decided to give Her a necklace Ive had for a long time. One that was originally the match to the braclet I gave Her on the night of our joining. The necklace has the small carved figures of a Hawk, the Tuchuk mark of the 4 Bosk Horns and a quiva... all crafted from thick pieces of bone. Blue stones and beads surrounding the little figures. it brought me luck and was to be for my sister along time ago... now, I have one to give it to.
I think it's time to rest again. Jerus has been so protective now, even more so that before with knowing I carry His child. My moods are swinging, but more so towards the weepy side than violent. I remember carrying the twins, I was mad and angry all the time, but I guess the situation caused that. So long to wait for something you wanted forever. I cant wait to see the lil one's face.. and Jerus'. He is a good man and a proud Father. To see the life brought further back into His eyes will be a blessing.
I hope time passes quickly
My mind has been eased alot.... Declan has returned and resumed His position as my guard. Makes me feel much better to have Him around, since the Escorts Jerus assigned me are so.... blah. No humor or personality. I guess that's better. But, Declan will always hold a special place in my heart. He is like a brother and we love to tease and torment each other, even though it pisses some off. They dont understand our relationship... and frankly it doesnt matter. Jerus knows all, He knows I am a very touchy feely type person... was bred into me long ago. I see no harm in a Woman having a Man as a friend. Yes, there are lines to be drawn and not crossed... and those have been established. I feel safe around Declan... and I need that now. But it is rare that Jerus lets me out of His sight now anyways. Wherever He goes, it seems I go. Glued to His hip, He will have it no other way. Cant say I blame Him, I am quite a handfull and the threats of the Dark One from the past still fresh on our minds.
Im looking forward to Tarra and Shi's joining. Ive made a fur for Shi with His emblem on it. Took me some time to get the dyes to set right and the proper colors, but it has turned out well. And for Tarra, Ive decided to give Her a necklace Ive had for a long time. One that was originally the match to the braclet I gave Her on the night of our joining. The necklace has the small carved figures of a Hawk, the Tuchuk mark of the 4 Bosk Horns and a quiva... all crafted from thick pieces of bone. Blue stones and beads surrounding the little figures. it brought me luck and was to be for my sister along time ago... now, I have one to give it to.
I think it's time to rest again. Jerus has been so protective now, even more so that before with knowing I carry His child. My moods are swinging, but more so towards the weepy side than violent. I remember carrying the twins, I was mad and angry all the time, but I guess the situation caused that. So long to wait for something you wanted forever. I cant wait to see the lil one's face.. and Jerus'. He is a good man and a proud Father. To see the life brought further back into His eyes will be a blessing.
I hope time passes quickly
Page 12 (10/29/2005) The Joining
2nd day of Third Hand of the Month of Amumba (8) in the year 10,155 CA (edited log due to limited charatures, so just the important stuff) Vikuur SHl: jerus will there be rings?Jerus NeiIl: ::nods:: Silken designed them, and I had them made.Vikuur SHl: where are they now?Jerus NeiIl: ::takes them out of an inside pocket and hands them to Shi::Caarn Klava: ::he nodded to Nicha:: she looks wonderful Nicha::he whispered to his cousin::Qam Nicha Na: yes she does ::smiled and looked back over to Silk ::Vikuur SHl: ""takes them and brings them to the front of the path""""Silkenhawk: :::Taking the path that cut it's way through many torches, guiding Her to Jerus. Guardsmen shadowed Her steps and finally into view, She moved. Wearing a long, flowing dark blue dress, fitted tightly to Her slender frame.Jerus NeiIl: :::moves to the side with Shi at the head of the path, the torches burning strong and bright in the night:::Silkenhawk: Not far behind Silks, were the twins... Shanay and Dakota. Kota dressed in leathers and carrying His small lance, Shanay in a long leather skirt and top, both with smiles as they peeked around Silken, smiling to their Papa Jerus. Vikuur SHl: ''''turns and looks to Jerus"" still time Silkenhawk: A familar blue and white cloak billowed behind Her with each step, the contrast of Her signature firey red hair against the color of the dress and the flickering torches, was stunning...Jerus NeiIl: ::his sons, grin, seeing her, and they look to him:::Silkenhawk: Silken and Her Escorts reached the end of the path and the Men stopped, fanning out around the main fire. She paused and looked to Jerus with a glowing smile before Her steps carried Her to Him. Kota and Shanay followed closer, before going to be with their Aunt Tarra and Silks stopped before Jerus, yes.. even She.. was nervous, smiling as She looked into His eyes:::::Jenessia: She's beautiful Jerus NeiIl: :::smiles, then turns, and his breath catches, his eyes lock on her, he can't even move and forgot to breathe:::Silkenhawk: ::whispers:: breath Jerus...Jerus NeiIl: ::he just stands there, speechless, still not breathing...but it doesn't matter, for this moment, the world stops, no one exists but she for him, he loses sight of all around for a moment while he drinks her in, while he just adores her in full view of all his friends and family:::Silkenhawk: :::yup.. She blushed... biting Her lip in a grin, looking down and composing Herself... before Her dark green gaze once more met His.. He had, in simple, silent terms... made Her feel beautiful this moment:::Caarn Klava: ::thinks that they make a good couple and is truly glad for Jerus::Vikuur SHl: ''looks to Silken""Jerus NeiIl: ::doesn't look at Shi, would rather look at Silken::Vikuur SHl: you look lovley this nightSilkenhawk: Thank you... :::looks back to Jerus and almost chuckles:::Jenessia: ::she smiled up at Mistress Silken. indeed She was beautiful::Jerus NeiIl: Aye... ::said in a very quiet whisper::: You are beautiful...Silkenhawk: ::A hand lifted to Jerus' cheek, thumb brushing over the multicolored scars::: thank you love.Jerus NeiIl: ::he just grins like, well, whatever...cause he loves what he sees::Jerus NeiIl: :::eyes twinkle in merriment::Vikuur SHl: look to your heart and speak to Jerus from itSilkenhawk: ::a nod to Shi and then takes a breath, looking to Jerus:::Silkenhawk: Jerus... I never thought a day like this would come again, for me... times were hard, dark... and then suddenly a light shone down... We both know who that was... and He led me to you, and you.. to me... I didnt think I could ever love again so completely and wholly as I do now. I am proud this day to become your Mate, and know that for the rest of my days, I will stand beside you. You are my heart... my life... and my joy. I love you so very much. :::She looked to Shi and nodded,then back to Jerus:::Vikuur SHl: ""looks to Jerus''' Now Jerus speak your heart to SilkenJerus NeiIl: Silken, I have known you almost my entire life. When I was a young boy I thought you were the prettiest girl I had ever seen. I have seen you grow intoa beautiful woman, one that has much come her way, some good, some bad, all a learning experience. Tonight, one of my boyhood dreams come to pass, for I finally take you as my mate, my companion, my joy for life. Tonight, you and I truly do become one life. You have awoken my heart from the wish of death Ihad and showed me how wonderful life can be again. I do love you, and I will always love you. My destiny. ::then he grins and nods to Shi::Vikuur SHl: as you place the ring about Silkens finger, proclaim to the skies that you take Silken as you true MateJerus NeiIl: ::he takes her hand in his, and touches the ring to the finger, and looks to the Skies:: I am Jerus of the Tuchuk! I take and claim Silkenhawk to be my mate from this day forward. Let any that would dispute it meet my steel! ::and the ring is then placed on her finger:::Vikuur SHl: ""hands the other ring to SIlken""Vikuur SHl: as you place the ring about Jeurs finger, proclaim to the skies that you accepte Jerus as you true MateSilkenhawk: :::takes the ring and studies it... grinning.... as She looked to Jerus, then down to set the ring on the tip of His finger.. She then called to the Skies...I am Silkenhawk of the Tuchuk and I accept Jerus, the Wily Tuchuk as my Mate forever and always... let any that dare to test it... bleed from my blade. ::grins and winks to Jerus:::Jerus NeiIl: ::he smiles widely, and tears do start to fall:: My friends, family...:::he turns to face them all:: Today, I am a fortunate man... :::takes the hands of the small ones, and nods to Silks:: From this day forward, I have a son and a daughter in my wagon as well as my mate. I have now called Silken's children mine, and apparently, all of Gor will know soon that the wagon of Jerus Neillwill also contain Silkenhawk, and Dakota and Shanay Neill. I ask your help in teaching my children to know courage, honor, and to be Tuchuk.Vikuur SHl: """looks to the gathered"""Vikuur SHl: I pronouce Jerus Neill and Silkenhawk as one in life! ...............And now One in thier new family
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