My second night with Jerus was a real eye opener. Though Im dead tired from walking the plains all night alone, I think I need to find Jerus and thank Him. Ever get a slap in the face without anyone touching you? I did last night. Im pretty sure Jerus had one of the clan following me on my walk, whomever it was, didnt bother me. That's good. Soul searching usually doesnt involve others. I guess what hurts the most is that what He did, is what Ive always done to people and found it funny. But when the tables were turned, I found it less than humorus. Silly plains tricks and callings of the winds were always theatrical stunts for me. Ive only ever used it once for defense. Sometimes when I get mad the winds pick up, other than that, nothing to speak of. I can say I felt betrayed, but that would only be covering up my embarassment. Jerus has this way of getting to me via the deepest routes through my soul. Im glad He is still sleeping now, and I hope that He has a detail to tend to.... I dont think I can face Him right now. Im not use to shame... humility.. all that. I know He does it to mold me into what pleases Him. Thing is, I already am molded, maybe just a blanket covers the final frame. Hiding it... securing it within that safety that is my world. Should I fear Him right now? I dont know... I do. Maybe that's His intent. Never hurt anyone to be scaired. Change is hard. Ive lived a certain way, but my own convictions for so long, will He be patient? Can I survive His teachings? Only He knows.....
The twins on the other hand are thriving. Ive never seen them with so much energy. And watching Jerus with them does bring a smile to my face. He looks young, and alive again... so much pain use to mask His features, but now they soften around the children. I can see the life drawing back into Him and around Him. Even the men of His clan feel it. I feel it most of all. He draws upon my strenght now and I to His. Dont know about Him, but I feel weak when Im not with Him. Maybe .... I'll stay with Him here, until it is time to go back to the Harigga. He deserves better......
~ Everything comes full circle
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