I have had so much on my mind lately that I have failed to recognize a sister in need. Tarra has become withdrawn and quiet. Her mood is no longer happy. I've been dealing with the sickness that comes with carrying a child, drinking the tea Tarra makes for me and once sitting... I could look within Her thoughts. She is very emotional and somewhat scaired. The delay in Her joining to Shi is weighing heavily on Her. While I am confident it will happen as planned in 2 days, Tarra's is stuck in a whirlwind of unsure feelings. I know what She feels, I felt the same way when things didnt progress as I had wished. I just hope I can bring some sort of comfort to Her and let Her know, I am there.... Upchuckin Tuchuk, or not. Im sure once the ceremony is over, She will feel much better. I can see Her thoughts and if they keep me awake at night, surely She is tormented by them too. As a Spex cannot see their own future, the vision only elude to possible bad happenings. When faced with the current situation, I am sure Tarra reads them as a terrible forecomming of doom. I wish I could assure Her that everything is fine and nothing will hinder Her special day or Her life. Shi is a good man... sometimes too calm for one such as Tarra. He's always been such. Nothing seems to ever bother Him where He would raise His voice or become angered. In this sense, He is much like Jerus, and I envy both of them for that. How they maintain such a calm facade, when I can barely hold a growl in my throat. I love Tarra as if She were my blood kin, the bond is strong and I know with the aid of my good thoughts... She will do fine.
The camp is filled with newcommers. Cana... Magena... and a new unscarred Warrior, Remulus. Cana is an interesting person. So timid and skittish, How She is even considered Tuchuk, I'll never know.. but.. ehhh who am I to judge right? I gave Her an "All about sex" book, passed down from Elder to Elder, in hopes She can stop blushing and becoming embarassed over the conversations at the fires. She is a hard worker, so... I find Her company not all that displeasing. Magena has come to us via a friendship Jerus had with Her father who has taken to ride the winds. She seems a nice Woman, but I have yet to really get to know Her. The bare cheeked warrior Rem. Interesting charature. He yawns alot.. and scratches His stomach constantly. I've offered blackwine to wake Him up and a salve to aid with the apparent rash... none seem to work. Kinda hard to believe He is Tuchuk, we hold such a love of life and the thrill of Tribe, He just seems to be lacking in that department. I dunno, maybe its the "New Man on the standard" jitters. He has made a raid on a traveling wagon that ventured to close to our lands...bring back much booty and an errant slave girl. I dont see the wench lasting very long with such an attitude.
To my surprise last night as I ventured to the fires... Spiirit has returned to the people as well. Though not as anceint as I... She did remember me as I did Her. It was nice to see the "old" visonairy again. Always fun to talk of old times and yes, even to laugh at misfortunes or.. blunders, shall we say, of past times.
I wish Jerus would get out of this funk He is in. I know what troubles Him, as He has complained about slaves inparticular. One specificly that He is growing increasing annoyed with. He has told me He will not put up with it anymore.. and this is good. Maybe find herself on another's chain or worse. I personally could care less. It is His arms that hold me at night and His voice that wakes me in the morning. Any slave may think they hold His attention for the moment and that He can think of nothing but them.. truth is, it is I that capture His thoughts... and His heart. They are but a few ahn of passing the time, nothing more than an object to take up the idle time. It is I that He always rides to ... the last thing He see's at night.. and the first thing He see's every morning. I am secure in His love... too bad they arent.. it shows.
Time for more tea. Im tired of digging holes.
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