Page 4 (10/1/2005) New Beginnings

Last night was both frightening and exciting. Jerus had told me that it would be my claiming night. I found myself nervous, but happy thinking that finally we would be joined as mates. Man, did I have the wrong idea! I should have guess that when He brought me to the Camp of the Clan, this wasnt going to be an ordinary event. He brought me to the wagon and once within, everything went upside down. It was not my claiming to be His mate, but to finally accept the vow of the Masks. I'd trained over the years in their ways and how to be dasterly and heartless.... but this final journey was more hell than ease. Jerus showed me things that I couldnt comprehend last night and really didnt make sense till today... having thought back on the events, I see now why it was done. Part of me from long ago was first presented to the Clan as a slave and that part also had to accept the final steps. It was hard to remember things from then, memories do fade as Ive said before and to have them come rushing back in a split ihn... turned me into jelly... a mindless mush... Thank the skies Jerus was there to pick up the pieces and knew where each one belonged. I have a new found respect for Him. I think I will write this all down for the twins, in case something happens to me, they at least know what and who their Mother was.
It was Hawksclaw that took me to the circles so many envars ago. I remember seeing the standards... the heads of the traitors mounted to the posts... and the rocks that encompassed each circle. Up until last night, I had forgotten the punishment circle... it was the worst of them. Having been taken there and chained to the post for being mouthy.. I was a slave then... and Hawks laid into me for it. He placed upon my flesh 10 of the worst lashes Ive ever received in my life. The welts remained for 3 hands... He was brutal with the whip when it came to me, He knew what I was and demanded perfection... well, most of the time. I remember when I was Freed to mate with Hawks, it was upon the time of the birth of His First Son. Free I remained from then on... and so much different than I am today. If there is a proper term for a Tuchuk Free Woman, then, I was it. Marsuitus taught me the art of Shadow Walking, I always had a thing for Him. He was so mysterious and fun. I enjoyed my time with Him. Things went well, until infighting took over and Hawks and I left the Plains for Sais. His 1st daughter was born just after He left for war. I dont talk much about her, she is alive, so Jerus tells me. He's seen her...and she is doing well. Perhaps someday, Jerus will take me to her. Hawks died that Winter, and part of me with Him. I still feel Him around. I never returned to the plains, Even when Steel came and claimed me, we still didnt go back. It wasnt easy but I felt alive again with Him, and soon after our joining, I was pregnant with our twins, Dakota and Shanay. Steel received word that He would be sent to War. Hesitant to leave me in my condition, He handed me over to Khilintyme, and most dear and trusted friends of ours. Steel left one Warm spring morning, to tears and I love You's.... and never returned. I spent my time in Sais, under Khilintyme's guard... He is Papa Khil to me. But as things change so quickly, Khil gave up the Ubar furs to move to an island. Definately not my cup of Bazi Tea, so I left. Almost 9 months pregnant and into the wagon with everything I had... returning to the farthest reaches of the plains were I wouldnt be bothered much. The twins came one warm night. Soon after their birth, I had heard that Steel died, though a body was never returned..... Men around me die in the Wars... I plan to never let Jerus go. So.... we remained on the plains for several years as they grew. Times were hard, I had no coin, so I reverted to making herbs and medicines.. and even stealing. Finally when the twins were 8, I packed the wagon and rode further into the plains. Kyra, the larl, standing guard as I mounted my kaiila Alpha and rode to where the first set of Outriders would be. Once spotted, I kept them on the chase for many ahn's... I was always good at avoiding a hunt. It wasnt until Jerus was called in, that I allowed myself to be stopped. Covered in a cloak and riding scarf, Jerus approached like any other stranger. I slowly removed the scarf, letting my signature firey curls loose....If you could have seen His face..it was worth all the coin in Kar!
So that's how we came back to the plains.... and how Jerus claimed me that night. Not offically yet, but in our hearts, we ride together as mates.