Never had a doubt
In the beginning
Never a doubt
Trusted too true
In the beginning
I loved you right through
Arm in arm we laughed like kids
At all the silly things we did
You made me promises, promises
Knowing I'd believe
Promises, promises
You knew you'd never keep
Second time around
I'm still believing
Words that you said
You said you'd always be here
In love forever
Still repeats in my head
You can't finish what you started
If this is love it breaks my heart
Why do I believe.
~~~~
A sleepless night left me tired and cranky. I sought comfort in the stream.. just sitting and listening to the gentle ripple of water over the rocks and silt. There was much to think about and take in. A sudden flip of my life once more... but funny.. it didnt effect me as much as I thought. Maybe I am a cold hearted bitch now... protective over that thing I used to wear on my sleeve.
I pulled that piece of paper from my pocket.. slowly studying it and trying to make sense of it. That's when I heard the whisper... one word.. soft against my ear. "Promises"
Huh?
I looked around for signs of someone.. but found nothing. I looked up to the Sky... squinting.. then narrowing one eye. She hated me. Yet.. I dont think this was Her doing. So back to the paper where... it.. suddenly made sense!! I stood up.. flagging the piece of parchment in my hand.. yelling.. "I get it !! look!! see??!!!" Breathless in my excitement I wanted to tell the world... I was only answered with a gurgle from the stream. Well... that was a bummer. My satchel was nearby.. and sitting back to the grass... I took out a writing stick and began to fill in the blanks. All the promises that had been made to me... and nearly every one had been broken. Sure... now I find out I have trust issues. More so that I trusted too easily in the past. I believed what was spoken to me. And why shouldnt I? Cause ya get burning Silken Girl. Thats why.
Yeah.
In the middle of this epithomy... Krono shows up. I was too lost in thought and emotion to deal with Him. I tried not to be cold.. but I knew He could tell something was up. He seemed to dance around words.. finally finding what it was He wanted to say. Something I wasnt so sure I wanted to hear at this moment. But it was along the lines of.... He had discovered over the past months of us being together.. how much He enjoyed our time together. He had feelings for me that were very strong. And He still wanted to court me. But... He... "promised" not to just up and claim me like had been done before. No.. this was my choice.
Great.
In walks Sev. Skies She is so beautiful. So young.. so lucky to not have this road of hardship on Her back like me. I envy Her... and perhaps... I am jealous of Her. I wish I could be like Her... not burdened down with such heavy thoughts and memories. I wish I could shove the past away.. tuck it somewhere to be brought out on a rainy day and just... live. My wall had gone back up.. all in a matter of moments.
I was scared.
I couldnt stand for Her.. or Krono for that matter to see me this way. I hate showing emotion.. especially in front of other's. I knew it was rude.. but I had to get away before something crept out and reared it's ugly head.
Exit.. stage right.
I bid them both a good night and hightailed it from the stream. I was kicking myself.. and I stopped several times to turn around and want to run back. I couldnt. I couldnt make my feet move in that direction.
Eventually.. I made it to my wagon and found the girl there. I told tanya to leave.. to go away.. she simply smiled and said she couldnt. she was under orders. Ugh. Whatever.. I said and sat near the fire. the girl made her way to me and gently placed her hands on my shoulders... her fingers began to rub and kneed the sore tense muscles. Normally.. I would have swatted her away... or had it been any other slave... cut off their fingers. But.. tonight.. I needed that touch.. I needed the compassion of a friend. I needed someone to tell me what to do... that everything would be ok... that I would be ok. she sensed my mood.. and pending emotional state... and she leaned around me.. smiling as she whispered... "Mistress?" "what is it tanya" I said. "One is glad we are both here" she said. "MMmmhhhmmm" I grunted. "You'll be thrilled to tell your master that I allowed you to do your... tasks" I said. "Oh no Mistress" tanya said... "Dont worry.. I wont say a word" she said... and then whispered.....
"I promise"
Son of a bitch.
In the beginning
Never a doubt
Trusted too true
In the beginning
I loved you right through
Arm in arm we laughed like kids
At all the silly things we did
You made me promises, promises
Knowing I'd believe
Promises, promises
You knew you'd never keep
Second time around
I'm still believing
Words that you said
You said you'd always be here
In love forever
Still repeats in my head
You can't finish what you started
If this is love it breaks my heart
Why do I believe.
~~~~
A sleepless night left me tired and cranky. I sought comfort in the stream.. just sitting and listening to the gentle ripple of water over the rocks and silt. There was much to think about and take in. A sudden flip of my life once more... but funny.. it didnt effect me as much as I thought. Maybe I am a cold hearted bitch now... protective over that thing I used to wear on my sleeve.
I pulled that piece of paper from my pocket.. slowly studying it and trying to make sense of it. That's when I heard the whisper... one word.. soft against my ear. "Promises"
Huh?
I looked around for signs of someone.. but found nothing. I looked up to the Sky... squinting.. then narrowing one eye. She hated me. Yet.. I dont think this was Her doing. So back to the paper where... it.. suddenly made sense!! I stood up.. flagging the piece of parchment in my hand.. yelling.. "I get it !! look!! see??!!!" Breathless in my excitement I wanted to tell the world... I was only answered with a gurgle from the stream. Well... that was a bummer. My satchel was nearby.. and sitting back to the grass... I took out a writing stick and began to fill in the blanks. All the promises that had been made to me... and nearly every one had been broken. Sure... now I find out I have trust issues. More so that I trusted too easily in the past. I believed what was spoken to me. And why shouldnt I? Cause ya get burning Silken Girl. Thats why.
Yeah.
In the middle of this epithomy... Krono shows up. I was too lost in thought and emotion to deal with Him. I tried not to be cold.. but I knew He could tell something was up. He seemed to dance around words.. finally finding what it was He wanted to say. Something I wasnt so sure I wanted to hear at this moment. But it was along the lines of.... He had discovered over the past months of us being together.. how much He enjoyed our time together. He had feelings for me that were very strong. And He still wanted to court me. But... He... "promised" not to just up and claim me like had been done before. No.. this was my choice.
Great.
In walks Sev. Skies She is so beautiful. So young.. so lucky to not have this road of hardship on Her back like me. I envy Her... and perhaps... I am jealous of Her. I wish I could be like Her... not burdened down with such heavy thoughts and memories. I wish I could shove the past away.. tuck it somewhere to be brought out on a rainy day and just... live. My wall had gone back up.. all in a matter of moments.
I was scared.
I couldnt stand for Her.. or Krono for that matter to see me this way. I hate showing emotion.. especially in front of other's. I knew it was rude.. but I had to get away before something crept out and reared it's ugly head.
Exit.. stage right.
I bid them both a good night and hightailed it from the stream. I was kicking myself.. and I stopped several times to turn around and want to run back. I couldnt. I couldnt make my feet move in that direction.
Eventually.. I made it to my wagon and found the girl there. I told tanya to leave.. to go away.. she simply smiled and said she couldnt. she was under orders. Ugh. Whatever.. I said and sat near the fire. the girl made her way to me and gently placed her hands on my shoulders... her fingers began to rub and kneed the sore tense muscles. Normally.. I would have swatted her away... or had it been any other slave... cut off their fingers. But.. tonight.. I needed that touch.. I needed the compassion of a friend. I needed someone to tell me what to do... that everything would be ok... that I would be ok. she sensed my mood.. and pending emotional state... and she leaned around me.. smiling as she whispered... "Mistress?" "what is it tanya" I said. "One is glad we are both here" she said. "MMmmhhhmmm" I grunted. "You'll be thrilled to tell your master that I allowed you to do your... tasks" I said. "Oh no Mistress" tanya said... "Dont worry.. I wont say a word" she said... and then whispered.....
"I promise"
Son of a bitch.
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