I found myself and the boys near the stream these past few hands.. comforting and happy. They learn to fish.. they ask of stories.. tales of the Tuchuk. friends.. family. Its been another step forward for me.. to focus not on myself but everything other than. My work.. as little as it is.. keeps me far busier than before. My eyes have opened more than ever. It is a new awareness of things around me... and people. People that have disappointed me in their own selfish ways. Perhaps that's how I acted.. for I feel the disgust in being around certain one's right now. One thing I never did was act fake or save face. If I didnt like you.. you knew it. Part of the reason's I was always in trouble. That's ok too. I know now there are rules and laws for certain people that dont pertain to other's.
I have yet to catch up with Cana and the boys and baby girl's. Ive stopped by several times.. trying to nab them.. but either one or several were missing. In the upcoming days I will sit and take one at a time as I run across them... compile my notes and assessments and then seek out Ba'atar. Everyone is busy with the move and now with Garyx's pyre. The sounding of the drums told me of His loss. I do not worry about Tarra... She is strong. I know the heartache She feels... losing a soul Mate. I only hope peace and comfort for Her.. that She may find Her way back from this with ease. I did go to Her to see Her... but was told She wasnt seeing anyone. I nodded and left reluctantly.
The only person Ive found to seek me out is Nette. She is a welcome breath of light when She comes to visit. Our griping and venting makes us laugh. She is the only one I can call friend. I wish for Her too... that She find the peace of life and hope.
My trail towards Fonce also has ended at an impass. There came no response to what I had said. This too is fine. He is a busy Man with many things on His mind. I can hardly expect Him to see past whatever it is He deal's with to notice me standing there. It was foolish of me to think I could help... but that is a part of me that I dont believe will ever change. I dont think I want it to change... because if I stopped caring... I would be dead.
So... now what? What does the new future have in store for this old vulo? I cannot say. I cannot even begin to guess... and I dont really want to know. I know I live.. I know I love.. and I know its still good to be Tuchuk. That is one thing that people cannot strip from me. You can cut the flesh and bleed... and I will still be Tuchuk. You can break my bones and reduce them to cinders.. I will still be Tuchuk. You can step on me.. or around me.. speak sharply and/or with jaded whispers behind my back... I will still be Tuchuk.
And by the Skies... I will still be here.
I will....
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