Jax says to give it time... that I will remember everything. He is usually right. There are a few things foreign to me right now... mainly people. He also tells me that I was hurt when the ground opened up... even Jai told me this so... I guess it must be true.. but I dont remember any of it. I remember stopping to help the old couple with their wagon full of furs.. but.. that's all. When next I think back.. Im in my wagon.. my head is cut.. bruised.. and my knee hurts like a bosk danced on it for a day. People talk to me like I should know them.. I try to remember that I just might... but only get angry that I cant. I went to see Aunt.. She always helped me make sense of things.. yet this time She only upset me more by telling me things in a way I did not want to hear. She says Im mated to Shi again.. and that we have two baby boys. I seem to remember the babies.. but cant connect to them fully. My body tells me they are mine.. but my head doesnt want to accept it. Aunt says that I am blocking out the things that are painful and that I need to go see Tarra. I dont want to see Tarra.. Im fine !
Jai stopped by.. checking to see if I ate. I didnt.. I dont want to. he took Wily.. Talia.. Starr.. Mia and Sonny to eat at the Main wagon. I got mad when He told me I had only a choice of what I would have to drink with my dinner.. and I started to throw things around. I know He left when an urgent call came in from the Outriders.. and I know I sat on the wagon floor for a few Ahn.. yet again I dont remember what... if anything I thought about. Next thing I knew I was dragging myself to the Central wagon to find my kids. Cana told me they werent there. Some strange Woman addressed me like She knew me.. telling me to sit and relax. She even tried to give me blackwine. I gave the bowl to Cana and walked out to search for the kids. Shuffling through the snow.. I called for them in the darkness and ever loving damnable cold. Finally Wily poked His head out of one of Jai's wagon's and grabbed the steps while telling Him to gather His siblings .. we were going home. Shortly after a parade of redheaded lil Tuchuks were trudging through the snow and back to Aunt's wagon. I was met by Jai and Kaeli.. again He angered me by insisting I eat. Kaeli tried the more calm approach.. asking that She let Her look at my head and my leg. I tried to remain cordial.. telling Her I did not need anything.. I was fine. I was fine.. I mean I am. They wanted me to go back into the Central wagon.. but I didnt want to go there. There were people there I didnt know. A Woman with shackles on Her wrists.. a quiet Man.. addressed as the scarrer. Even the Man that Cana addressed as "My Love".. I felt I should know Him.. but just couldnt connect anything else to Him. I just wanted to return to my wagon where I knew everything. I was safe there... and it didnt hurt to look at things. I ventured into the darkness and the cold.. my knee was throbbing.. dragging my leg behind me with each step.. when I felt something bump into me. I got angry... and when next I remember.. I was back in my wagon. I had blood on my hands... and all over my jacket. There was a commotion outside and Jax climbed the steps of the Nightmare... His face was stolic.. He simply said..
"Come out here quickly.. there is a body in the snow"
No comments:
Post a Comment