"There's just no way around it" I heard Jax talking to the boys as I rose from sleep. The wagon's had stopped. There was a low murmer of people up and down the row's. So I dressed and braided my hair and stepped out onto the platform. Vee and Ess came running to me.. excited... babbling about going swimming. I smiled down to the them and then saw the look on Jax face... I knew something was not right. Carefully.. I dismissed the boys so I could talk to Jax.. telling them I needed a item from our supply wagon that would take an Ahn to find. They ran off to start the search. Jax patted the wagon bench... my cue to come and sit. It was there He began to weave the tale of what we as a nomadic group of people were about to face. As He told me we would be crossing a large spanse of water... I must have paled.. because His hands went to my shoulders. He crouched down.. calling my name a few times before giving me a shake to snap me out of my impending lockdown. Jax.. is the only living soul to know the fear this news would bring me. He is the only one alive to know... I cant swim. I mean.. I can splash around in the streams or small pools of water.. but when it comes to such an expanse of water... I sink like a stone.
Not long after I mated Jerus.. I was on a trade route in Turia... Wandering down the streets of vendors when I was persued by a would-be captor who's eye I had caught. After a chase... and a cloth soaked with capture scent was used on me... I was bound and tossed aboard a ship. Destined for some Isle off the coast... I spent a hand being tormented by this Man and His ship handlers. Though they never touched me... my own temper got the best of me and I began to mouth off. At one point.. I was tossed overboard in the vast darkness of the Thassa. To the laughs and hollars of the crew.. I splashed around.. taking more water than air into my lungs and soon... found myself sinking below the surface. About the time I felt the icy grip of death around my chest... I was being lifted from the water and hoisted back over the deck... dropped like a wet stone to the thump of temwood. I spent an Ahn dispelling the water from my lungs and stomach.. coughing.. gaging... while this Man watched in amusement. He did seem to soften.. commenting on how He should have known I could not swim since I was a land dweller. I spent the rest of the journey to this Isle in the corner of His cabin... a death grip on a post with every rock and pitch of the ship. Obviously.. Jerus recovered me. That story dates back in the journal many EnVars... but how He got me home.. back to the plains... I do not remember. I think I blocked it out. But... yes... I am a Tuchuk. Swimming is not my.. forte'. And Jax knows this.
I had little time to prepare. Ba'atar had ordered the wagon's.. bosk and people into the lake to cross. Jax kept the boys close to Him.. driving our teams down the embankment and into the current. Inside the wagon... I clung to a chest of clothes. My eyes remained tightly pressed shut. My stomach contents threatening to abandon ship as I heard the slosh of water against the wagon sides. Water seeped in from the cracks in the flooring... my nails dug into the wooden sides of the crate. I could hear the chirps of laughter from the twins as Jax made it all fun and games... thankfully.. they did not know my condition nor the reason for the state I was in. It seemed forever to reach the other side.. but finally the wagon lurtched upward.. bouncing and straining to get up the wet side of the lake. When finally we stopped.. Jax sent Vee and Ess to check the other wagon's. He entered mine and rushed over to me.. crouching down with a soft voice of calming assurance. It took Him many Ehn to pry my fingers from the crate before He wrapped my arms around His neck and pulled me to that embrace of His strong chest. I cried softly into His neck and shoulder... shaking like a leaf in a violent storm. At that moment ... I felt vunerable. Alone. His words continued soft in my ear... gentle and reassuring. A moment of weakness and my lips found His... pressing the soft trembling tiers to His. It lasted but a fraction of an Ihn before His hands grabbed my shoulders and thrust me back hard enough to launch me against the floor. It shocked us both and He stood up... not in anger but protective. "Jax... Im so sorry... I dont know what came over me..." I said and He held His hand up. "Dont" He said... and He turned... taking a step towards the door. I watched as He stopped... like He wanted to come back to me.. but He did not. He fought with Himself for several moments before finally leaving. I sat there on the floor for awhile... before darkness fell. I lit the firebowls... tucked the boys into the furs for the night... and walked to the edge of the lake. Watching the last of the wagon's cross the water... I wondered....
Would I still sink?....
or would I swim.
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