" I danced in the rain today. I didn't let the clouds bother me. Twirling with my arms outstretched. Free within my own mind. Raindrops hitting my face, Trailing down my cheeks. Mimicking my tears, Tears I shed for you. My hair damp with natures gift, Hues of red darkened with moisture. Clinging to my body and every curve. Your embrace welcomed with desire. Wind brushed the tree branches, I swayed in time with their dance. Matching the movements, Dreaming it was you that joined me. The soft flutter of autumn leaves, Played the music to perform to. My head tilted to the side, So I could hear your whisper. Thunder rumbled in the distance. A low rhythmic melody, Like the beating of your heart. I felt it in my chest. As fast as it came, the rain ceased. Your visit was quick, my dance was over. Faded brush strokes of sunlight shone down, A rainbow painted the sky above me and I smiled. I danced in the rain today." (Mine, 2008)
Word came that I had been released from confinement. But still.. a captive of the Ubar. I walked in the early morning of Ahn's... under a falling rain that drenched me to the bone. My wagon's had been moved among the Ubar and His family. I didnt protest. Not one iota. Not even a breath of disatisfaction was given. I would do as they asked... as they expected and would give nothing that could be construed as defiance. What choice do I have now? None... only to conform and mold myself to what is expected of the norm. But .. I am not the norm. For those that can see the true spirit.. need only to look at my eyes and see the caged animal waiting for the moment the door is left unlocked or open. Waiting with a hunger to be set free. Who will it be.. I ask you old friend. Not even the visionaries can tell me. Only that He is strong.. pridefull and yes.. with large hands. Perhaps He does not even know it yet.. that He is destined to have me. Or I Him. I am as blind as one could be to such knowledge myself. There are the hazes and mists that paint my dreams.. the images that seep like blood into a thick fabric... spreading slowly. Are these tauting pictures remnants of my past? Or hints of my future. No one can answer. This.. disease I am afflicted with is unseen. Unforgiving like the sick humor the Sky dishes out upon us. it remains hidden behind false smiles and kind words. Stricken down by this fight I am to endure.. with no one to share the pain and anguish bubbling beneath the surface. To cry out is to admit defeat... to ask for help would show weakness... would it not? Ahhh but the sweetest reprise is to see Him in my dreams. When the shadows part and He stands there.. with those arms folded and a look on His face... made only for me. I am no longer afraid of the Dark One.. for He is the one that will come and comfort me even with His sarchastic..sadistic taunting. Now that He no longer chases me... hunting me like a prized trophy.. will He open His heart and mind for me to enter? Can I find the trust and compliance to allow Him access to my deepest and darkest secrets? But what if this acceptance makes Him disappear from my night visions. What if once He knows I take Him to my breast willingly... to rest His weary thoughts and relax His tired body with touches of desire and love.. what if He turns and leaves? Then... I will truely be alone. I will visit Him in my dreams again... floating to His world and reminding Him that... I am here. I am waiting... and wanting. Will He accept my sacrifices and know they were for Him? Only the shadows know......
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