Page 441 ~ Retracing

Ive walked the rows many times. I know where I need to go.. I know where things are.. where people are that I want to see... but this time... I found myself pacing in circles. I wanted to make a left at the second wagon down from the front.. but instead I kept taking a right. I even looked over my shoulder like... Damn! I wanted to turn there! Now.. what in the name of the Sky... was keeping me from making that turn? Could it be the small scroll I held in my hand? Might be.. but more so.. it might be just what was on that scroll. It would have been easy to just stop... turn around.. and walk back right? Uhhhh no. I just kept going forward.. propelled by some driving force that just wouldnt let me make that left. The next time around.. I locked my gaze on the wagon... ready to make the left.. I reached out to grab the back of the wagon and swing myself around.. like a natural trajectory of orbit that my body and mind could not refuse. But my fingers slipped off as my feet went the opposite direction and my body arched as I just... made that right and kept walking. Now this was getting good. Jax was following me.. and I could tell by the sounds He was making that He was laughing and trying to cover it up. He finally stopped me after about an Ahn of this senseless pacing. There was a small moat beginning to form in the ground.. the next rain would surely fill it up. So with Jax's hands on my shoulders.. He spun me around and said... "Silks? What's up...." I looked to the scroll that I had prepared and then to Jax. "I uhhhh got this to deliver" I said. Jax nodded and said "To whom does it belong Woman?" Now I knew who I belonged to.. but I couldnt get the name out. I just stood there with this stupid... girlish glaze to my eyes. Jax laughed hard and nodded... took me by the wrist and dragged me back down the ladden path I had created. My heart started to beat fast when we approached that left. Sure enough.. my body went right. Thank the Skies for Jax.. He gave me a yank.. followed by a secure tug of my braid that was now wrapped several times around His fist. My orbit had been changed ! I slammed face first into the back of that wagon to the resounding bellowing laugh of Jax. "Well.. that's one way to do it" He said. I turned... more red in the face than my hair and we continued on to my desination. "What's so special about the scroll Silks?" Jax said... my fingers were rubbing a smooth, shinny spot over the parchment just near the blood red ribbon that held it rolled and spoke with nervous anticipation. "Ehhh I dunno Jax. I hope He likes it. That's all" Jax gave me an "MMMmmHHhhhmmmm" Which to me.. spoke volumes. We finally made it to the wagon and I froze. Jax chuckled and placed a palm to my back and shoved me forward before He turned and called back... "You know the way home Silkenhawk.. if you dont.. follow the footprints" And He was gone.. leaving me there shaking and trying to swallow what I think was my tongue. It took me several long Ehn to get up the courage to walk His steps.. knocking seemed right.. but knocking six horts from the wooden frame did nothing but make me look like a dumb fuck. I heard a noise inside and I went flighty. I dropped the scroll at the doorflaps.. knocked feverishly five times on the frame.. turned.. lept off the platform and ran like hell back to my wagon. I dont think I touched the steps or the ground for that matter. I dove under the furs and just waited. Comforted and kept company by the rapid beating of my heart that pounded in my ears. This..... was getting better by the moment.