Productivity. My night was filled with packing wagon's... muttering.. bitching and cursing up a storm that Im sure was heard near and far. I screamed... several times. Angry. Raging madness. From the pit of stomach and sometimes down as far as my toes. At that very moment... I was hell bent on leaving the Harigga. I was determined to move to the back wagon's... or at least settle in with Jax's family. He left several hands ago to be with them. I insisted infact. Perhaps that was a wrong move also.
As day broke the night Sky... I realized I wasnt going anywhere... at least not yet. Aunt had made food for the children and was sitting beside the firepit when that gnarled old hand caught the air and beckoned me closer. She bid me to sit with Her... no words... just motions. As I lowered beside Her... I felt the swell of emotion in my chest and stomach. Some magical connection between us had Her grab me and craddle me into Her embrace. She rocked slowly.. stroking the lenght of my hair that had yet to be restrained in a braid. Her fingers brushed through the curls of firey locks and the hiss of Her breath comforted me with soft... Shhhhhhhh 's as my tears fell. I was shaking. I was sobbing. Gasping for air against the panic.. fear and despair I'd sunk into. I hurt so badly that I thought my head would tear open from the pounding pressure. I did not need to tell Aunt what had transpired that evening... my whole story had already been told to the crash of items being thrown about my fires. It had been an eye for an eye. At least how I saw it.
Family. A word tossed around... for convienence. One it was made clear.. that I was not a part of. Ohhhhh everyone is family... except for you. I shook my head as Tarra spoke the words to Cana that family does for each other and included everyone present in the statement... except me. I watched as Kam accepted the call to duty... I listened as even Noya confirmed Her acceptance. I was stupid to wait... to see if I was asked or included. And when I wasnt.. I left. I hope they had a good laugh... and many good whispers. I hope it was worth it.
There would be more discussion later. Not now. I was too emotionally wound up to speak and it would become a screaming match of my opinions. Nahir sat me back and told me we were going fishing. I was to braid my hair and get the gear. Meet Her in 20 Ehn. I did enter my wagon. I did as She asked. But in the back of mind... I wanted nothing to do with it. I didnt want the swtich to lay upon my flesh... so I went.
About an Ahn into the silence... She spoke. "Do you feel like talking now child?" Words suddenly came up from my stomach... like sour milk. Thankfully... I had a chance to breath... my pole darted down into the water.....
Lucky fish.
Lucky Aunt.
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