Page 487 ~ But I just wont do that....

And I would do anything for love, I'd run right into hell and back

I would do anything for love, I'll never lie to you and that's a fact

But I'll never forget the way you feel right now, oh no, no way

And I would do anything for love, oh I would do anything for love

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, ah, no I won't do that

And some days it don't come easy, and some days it don't come hard

Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end

And some nights you're breathin' fire, and some nights you're carved in ice

Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again

And maybe I'm crazy, oh it's crazy and it's true

I know you can save me, no one else can save me now but you

As long as the planets are turnin', as long as the stars are burnin'

As long as your dreams are comin' true, you'd better believe it

That I would do anything for love, and I'll be there 'til the final act

And I would do anything for love, and I'll take a vow and seal a pact

But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way tonight

And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no I won't do that

I would do anything for love, anything you've been dreamin' of but I just won't do that

And some days I pray for silence, and somedays I pray for soul

some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll

And maybe I'm lonely, that's all I'm qualified to be

There's just one and only, one and only promise I can keep

~Meatloaf



My wrist and hand had fallen asleep from my head being propped up into the palm. I must have stared at the work table for quite some time. The same spot focused on... an oil mark into the wood. It began to take a life of it's own. It shape shifted turning from a herlit flying.. into a bosk lumbering across the grasses... into a face.. a dark face.. evil.. laughing. I finally looked away. This dream I was caught in was long and as much as I have to admit.. boring. I wanted to get down to the chasing.. down to the running.. so I could wake up and do something constructive. But tonight... my shadow did not show. There was no screaming.. no crying.. no calling for help. It left me alone.. funny.. how I didnt want to be alone.. yet at this moment... I did.

I poked at the blisters on my hand that had filled to clear watery bubbles. Wincing as I pushed the fluid from side to side. Even in this dream I felt pain. I sat back up and puffed out a large gulp of air... fluttering my bangs from my eyes and began to work on rearranging my work bench. There was a sudden knock at my door... and with little time to react.. it was flung open. Modesty aided me in grabbing the edges of the fur around me to tighten it closed. I was surprised and rather happy to see Ash standing in my healer's wagon. I fanned a handful of air at Him.. making sure it wasnt my Mist Monster in disguise. There was no ripple of vision... so I happily engaged Him in conversation until the darkness returned to finalize my torment for this sleep. We talked about everything.. things I wouldnt probably discuss if I was awake and conscious. We spoke of my likes and dislikes in Men. My fears.. my issues. What I wanted in a Mate.. what I expected. Now I know.. had I been awake... anyone would have laughed their ass off at my list. Especially a Man like Ash. He would look upon my fears and doubts as a weakness and just wave me off with a hand. I would be.. a... Silly Female. But this was MY dream.. and it would go how I wanted it to. Period.

I had the freedom to tease Him alittle. My mind allowed me that. No one could yell at me... punish me.. or worse for a dream. This was the only thing I could hang on to.. and do what I wanted without ill recourse. If He was going to intrude in my dream.. I was going to have fun and enjoy it.. damn it. And enjoy it.. I did.

I woke slowly this morning... stretching out over the furs in the small sleeping area of the wagon back. It had been a night of pleasant dreams... a full night of sleep. And though I was still exhausted.. able to sleep for a hand straight... I felt I could face the world today. Just a wee bit more... aware. Perhaps slightly less... grouchy. I laughed as I thought of the possiblilty of telling Ash of my dream. He would laugh right back at me. I could tell Him... I could thank Him for saving me from the MistMan even if for one night. Yes... I could.... *smile*

but I just wont do that.