It was a sigh from Ash that moved me against His chest. I woke.. slowly.. the eariler events creeping back into my awareness. Though I was surprised that my sleep held no dreams... I hoped.. they were gone. My night visitor held no power anymore.. I was in control.. and Ash was my co-pilot. Moving gently so as not to wake Him... I took moments upon time to watch Him sleep. I was guilt ridden that I had laid this mess at His feet and then begged Him to keep it to Himself. Yet.. it had to be that way. I had to do this myself... I had to. If He was there to assit.. all the better. Anyone else.. was a no no. Quickly.. I penned a small scroll. It included a breif appology... and told of my saddness for the hurt I placed on Him. I told Him how... He said that we would deal with this together... and I thanked Him for giving me the strenght and courage to take this on. He had done well.. and He was right... we would get through this. Now it was my turn to step up and face the music. I ended.. with... I was going back to the spot of my spiral downfall. Back to the place where I gave my wraith the power.. where He was birthed. I would face Him on His grounds... where I would die if I had to... trying to return. It was signed... Your Ember. I had told Ash part of my birth name... He took a liking to it. It seemed only right that I ended my note as such. Tucking the scroll in His hand.. I touched His cheek with tears streaming down mine. I ran from the wagon with my pack in hand... out to the pen's... saddled up the Red... and took off into the fading light.
I rode for an Ahn. I hated the Southern plains. I hated everything it held for me. I was pissed off that this memory tainted the new joy that awaited me. The thrill of being newly mated... the smiles and laughs of love and companionship. I hated that everything I touched.. turned to shit.. and everyone I loved.. I betrayed. While lost in these inward reflections.. I began to feel the nagging tug of pressure in my head. I felt as tho my hair had been braided into a thousand tiny woven strands and someone was slowly pulling them backwards. I felt the burning of my scalp.. I heard the ripping of flesh from my skull. And before I could react... a sudden burst of hot... not warm or tepid.. but blazing hot wind struck me in the chest. My kaiila reared up in reaction and I was thrown from the saddle. The great Red beast ran off in a circling pattern.. confused and disoriented. I lay on the ground.. the wind knocked out of me. The pain I assumed was the force of impact to the ground and subsequent void of air in my lungs. Yet.. as I began to move.. I felt a different pain in my arm. It was pinned beneath me and I rolled over with a scream.. clutching the limp appendage to my chest. My right arm.. able to move and functional.. took hold of the left and began a series of calculated twists and turns. The crunch and snap of bone was deafening.. and a rather sickening sound all the same. I must have passed out.. for when I woke.. it was dark. I began a further assessment of my body. Both legs moved.. I felt them.. my back was sore.. but uninjured. With great pain.. I pushed myself up to sit... then removed my belt and secured my left arm tight against my chest. It was when I pressed my right hand into the earth that.. I felt it move. Not my hand.. but the ground itself. It was sticky... and upon lifting my palm towards my eyes... I saw blood. Thick.. globs of dark blood. I bit back a scream... covering my mouth with the back of my hand as I looked down. As though someone had painted a bullseye at this very spot... I knew... I-was-here. Almost five years ago... I had stood on this spot... I had confronted the Man who's lies and deceit tarnished my name.. and the pride of the Tuchuk. The very place that my dagger emerged in the moonlight... and slowly pierced His chest as He bent to kiss me.... sliding between His ribs... and piercing His heart. This very vortex of wings and wind... where He breathed His last breath into my shoulder. My satchel had been thrown several feet from me... and I had to stretch across the visionary blood that polluted my mind to reach it. Pulling it closer.. I opened it and took out a bota. It was paga... it was the bota I had wrangled from the fires the night prior. I opened it... wanting a sip.. but I had promised not too. Instead.. I turned the bota upside down and poured the thick liquid onto the spot. I cursed the Sky.. I cursed the Man who had done this to me... finally speaking His name after all these years. I screamed... that I took any power He had over me back. That I would no longer fear Him.. I would no longer run. He was dead. But I was alive. I was living... I was loved.. and He was nothing but a disgrace. Further my voice lifted... "Let them kill me.. for I did nothing but put Tribe above all. Let them! But it is not up to you. It is my choice now. And if it remains my secret then.. so be it! You have no hold over me anymore!" I expected hail and brimstone. I expected a bolt of lightning to strike me... I expected something. But nothing. I felt nothing.. saw nothing.. I heard nothing. Nothing.. for a long time. Then I did catch the faint sound of something...
kailla paws... hitting the ground...
and they were growing closer.
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