Ash urged me to come to the main fires... not be so secluded. I told Him I was most comfortable there... in seclusion. I could gripe about it at my leisure and yet no one could tell me what to do. He suggested that maybe I'd done it for so long I didnt know really what I was feeling anymore. Being alone and not being alone seemed difficult to explain. I like being alone but I dont want to be... all the time. It was this... explaining.. this jumping from thought to thought that had my mind swirling and quite honestly.. I wanted to hurt someone.
I did pick up and move my sorry ass to the fires. Got some blackwine and parked a lean against a wagon. I was not exempt from the whispers that floated around.. those enviatable rumors that started when people cry "foul"! Aunt had even expressed a concern towards Ash and I.. spending time together. I told Her everything I knew. I told Her how I was there the night Ash and Ayguili spoke.. and how Ayg said He would work as a Warrior of this Tribe. It actually made me feel as if Ayguili already knew Ash.. or knew of Him. I had already known Him... seems Noya did too. What transpired between the two Men... I do not know. I do know He was welcomed back.. along with Sahli and Jaella that night. I know Ayguili had given Him His wagons back and I know He was given a kaiila. No one had been asked to step up and speak for Him. So for whatever reason's Ayguili had... He allowed Ash to return from His journey and take His place once again at the First Fire's that night with the same welcome Sahli and Jaella got. Aunt nodded as She listened.. finishing this talk with a statement that She would do Her own recon of information obtaining and would get back to me. I grinned... wily old Woman. She was not at the First Fires when Ash was here.. or me for that matter. Let Her go hunting... I knew She would find what She wanted.
As far as the year keepers are concerned.. Ash was known to be of the Iron Workers... not a prospect. So... I treated Him as such. I'd like to know where the wrong doing is in that? But.. I didnt concern myself with the petty rantings of shit stirrers. I like Ash.. I like spending time with Him to connect the empty spots between His leaving on a journey and His return. I like seeing how they click and fit into the time of when I was here and then the return. I like the spark of interest we both have in each other. I will admit.. it is more than just a friendship. I liked Him way back when.. I like Him even more now that He has matured.
But I color outside the lines. So there I was sitting at the fires when Ash showed up. We sat for Ahn's without the visit of one single person to the main fires. Was nice. Again the conversation flowed easily between us. We talked of life.. love and mating. Lil red showed up.. sporting a rather nasty bruise on her face. So we talked about that. Little sprite that girl is... I like her. We teased and poked fun at Ash.... riling Him up alittle before red had to leave. I was left once more with Ash. I think I like how He picks my brain and gets all the ooky stuff out.. brings it to the surface where I can swipe it off and start again. From a string of data that rolled forth... He told me .. He wanted to Mate again.. I said Alright. Like I was anyone that could jump up and say.. No! Dont do it! But He said I misunderstood what He was saying. Did I? Or was I trying to avoid what I knew He was implying. I casually advised Him that Ayguili was my Guardian.. He had the say as to who I would be with. Ash got cocky and said He could by old law just up and claim me. I said that would not be right.. that Ayguili deserved the respect of a visit first.
I had to leave. I had children to tend to. Ash smiled at me as I left. I shook my head grinning too.
As I walked back to my wagon's... I wondered if I was taking steps to connect the dots from my last ending to my new beginning.
And I wondered what picture this step would take.
I had to stay within the lines.....
this time.
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