As usual... the talk with Nahir went one sided. Her's. There is no arguing Her points. She is too old and thinks Herself too wise to hear different points of view. I respect that.. but it still didnt make me feel any better. Ok.. alittle.. but not much. Aunt left me to my fishing and returned to tend the children. I sat for Ahn's near the stream.. aware of people passing by at a distance. If they came closer.. they got a nod and a small smile.. perhaps a wave or a Tal. But most kept their distance.
Sometime after the warmth of the Central Fire left the Sky and the blanket of darkness crept over the lands... I heard the sounds of a kaiila come close. It's steps were choppy... like it was being trained. There was no smoothness to it's gait as it pawed the ground. When it stopped.. the rider dismounted and surprisingly I heard the voice of Ash. Turning to squint into the darkness.. He granted me a Tal... and then entered the light of the moons against the rippling water. He was given a greeting and perhaps the fakest smile I could manage. He had just returned only the night before. I was pleasantly surprised to see Him grace the Main Fires. It was nice to have someone from way back when... to talk to again. So... we talked. We talked about this and that... my life since He left... and He talked about change. I was included in that. He told me how I had changed.. and I told Him we all do. He said He remembered the fire I had.. the spirit.. and asked why it had left me. I told Him how I was lost.. trying to find myself among the new ways and ideal's of this age. Of this group. And we once more got side tracked on how this happened in the past.. many times.. and would happen many times again. It's just a learning curve for those of us that stand firm within the times. Good and bad. Later into the conversation.. we spoke of Jerus and Shi. He knew them. We spoke of my children.. and how they would be raised. Would I teach them the laws of the Tuchuk.. would they become the next generation of proud Warrior's.. and such. Of course they would... I told them. Then Ash floored me... He said that perhaps it was not the fact that I was feeling so lost because I searched for my place... or because I had so many young children to care for.. but.. because I was lonely. Any words I could have said just got stuck in my throat. He asked me if this was true... and still I could not bring myself to say it. He only nodded and chuckled. Thankfully.. the subject was changed... and Ash was interested in hearing of the people... how they thrived today. I told Him we did well. Children grew and learned... as did some of the Adults.
I was done fishing.. or attempting to look like I was.. and began to gather up my things. As I was placing them in a pile... Ash told me I was still beautiful. Enter tension and my spine froze. Thank you.. I said... while I tried to compute those words directed at me. I almost looked around to be sure someone else hadnt wandered near. I didnt feel it.. but it was nice to be heard. When I looked to Him.. He smiled and then turned His kaiila. He said He had alot more work to do with this new beast. Breaking it in.. learning it. I nodded and wished Him well. He returned the extension of words and rode off.
On my way back to the wagon... I thought over everything Aunt and Ash had said. Most of it made sense... now I just had to place everything into order. My pieces were starting to turn and fit into the spots they belonged. I would just need more help in snapping them into place. If I could just finished the boarder.. the inside stuff would move faster.
I chuckled as I thought of something Jerus told me once... How I would find myself.. rising from the Ashes to bring fire back into my heart.
A funny play on words.. dont you think?
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