"These days, its hard to have a heartIt doesn't matter where you come from, or who you think you areThese days, it's hard just fitting inWhy does someone have to lose, for someone else to winWe're all looking for forgiveness, and someone we can trustYou can wrap your arms around the worldIt all comes down to usThis is the last night, you'll have to be aloneI'll be standing right beside you, you can't make it on your ownSo walk with me, please, help me to be strongI'll be the shoulder you can lean on, when everybody's goneThis is the last night, you'll have to be aloneI know, you, heard it all beforeThere's nothing worst than living lessWhen you yearn for something moreMakes no sense, its hard to understandWhen there's something that should fill you upKeeps slipping through your handsWe're all looking for answersWe're all down here on our kneesAll anybody really wants, is something to believeEnough is enough, I can't take any moreBut I'm standing on your front porchKicking down your doorThis is the last night"
I was trapped. Mists surrounded me and when I tried to feel my way out.. it felt like a fabric had been stretched around me and grew more constricting. I stressed with my palms.. I pushed.. and the veil became tighter and tighter... a white milky cloud growing heavier and harder against me. I started to struggle and panic and threw my head back to scream when.... I heard the knocking.
I sat up.. looking wide-eyed around my wagon. Blasted dreams.. pushing back the throw of hair from my eyes. The knocking returned... along with Jax's voice. "Silken... We need you." Yeah yeah... so I got up.. trying to lose the feelings of the early morning dream and dressed. Binding my hair into a loose braid and headed out to the platform still wrestling with my jacket. "Who's ill? Someone injured?" I asked.. but Jax said nothing. He took my elbow and led me to the pens. Oh no ! I was immediately thinking of Cana.. had a beast trampled Her? My steps grew quicker and my heart lept in my chest. We crossed to the holding pens and I caught a glimpse of Cana .. throwing me back down a few pegs in my adreline rush. But as we got closer... I saw a small gathering of people around a beast that lay on the snowy ground. At first it was hard to see the outline against the white of the kaiila's coat. Why was I being brought to treat a kaiila? Isnt that Cana's job?? That's when it hit me.
It was Alpha. I dropped everything I had carried and ran to Him.. shoving people aside. Alpha lay there.. laboring in breathing.. and I felt the knot in my throat tighten again. I threw back the blankets that covered Him to offer some warmth against the chill of the ground. Searching for some injury.. digging fingers into His fur... but I found nothing. I covered Him back up... I didnt want to believe that anything but a fatal blow from a weapon could down my dearest and most closest of friends. Too many years had we been together.. and I was not ready to let Him go. I couldnt lose Him too.
Dakota stood over me and was speaking softly to Jax. I heard them.. they spoke of putting Him down and Kota pulled His lance. "NO !" I jumped up and screamed. "You cant ! He will be fine ! He just needs rest! Dakota dont !" Kota looked at me with a rarely seen sympathic gaze. He looked at me from behind the veil of reddish hair and took my hand... one word... He spoke one word.. "Mother...." It was like my son scolded me and assured me.. with one single word. I felt the well of tears and the throbbing of my throat fighting against it. I took a deep breath and looked at my son. "I will wait for Cana... and so will you. And then I will wait for Seth." My look gave Him no option other than to nod. Picking up my pack.. I went back to Alpha and sat beside His head... stroking the white coat... He seemed to calm. The small crowd of people dispersed.. leaving just Jax and Dakota... who stayed outside the fence. Leaning to whisper to Him... "Come on old boy.. we have more to do... you and I... You have to carry me to Seth... we have rides to take.. late night runs... urts and prarie osts to hunt... please.. get up. please...." I got a small nip to the leg... I could feel the beast telling me everything words could not... if He could have talked. In that moment of my pain and anguish.. I looked to the Men.... "Go.. find Seth." They turned and headed towards the Forge. I drew my dagger and held it... I put Alpha's head over my legs... and I whispered.. " I love you.. say Tal to Toronado.. and bite Jerus in the ass for me. Thank you old friend." The tip of the dagger sliced the fur... turning it crimson... blood ran freely over me.. and I was covered in it quickly. It ebbed into my boots and through my leathers. The fresh white snow beneath us seeped to red. I lay over my best friend.. holding Him as He took His last breath.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment