All my pieces lay scattered on the ground before me. I had been pecked at by others and I had picked myself apart totally. Looking at each piece.. tiny as they were... I wondered just how to put them all back together. I am very critical of myself lately.. thus.. this task would be next to impossible. So I swept them all up into a bucket and set them aside.. for now. One bucket.. mind you.. not two... things were getting better you know.
I went for a walk. Nowhere really. Something about wandering the rows and paths...comfortable in the confusion of mazes the wagons created. I hadnt planned on it.. but I did pass by Seth's wagons on way back to mine. He was sitting on the platform and called to me.. breaking me out of the deep concentration I had been in. His smile lit up the night... Im pretty sure I returned it. He invited me to sit to which I hung a right hand turn and deposited myself on His steps.. one riser below Him. He moved to sit beside me and took my hand in His... there was no thought to the soft.. tender swirls His fingers made in my palm... it just came naturally as does most things between us. Then He talked.. and talked and talked and talked. At first.. I listened.. the things He spoke of made sense to me. It was as if He could see inside of me and was trying to help sort out everything I was feeling. Suddenly He asked me to speak... not just speak to hear myself think.. but to tell Him what was on my mind. My mind? Yeeeeeeashhhh. Something just went *pop* inside my head and everything ooozed out like a slow muddy slide of earth. I started to breath heavy as the things rushed forth.. fustration grew and anger as well.
I felt like an aura of fire enveloped me and my flesh was hot and cold at the same time. But Seth kept me grounded with squeezes to my hand and soft words. He allowed everything to come out.. even coaxed them to the surface.. painfully but gently. After I was done.. after the full spectrum of words spewed forth.. I was spent. Roasted well and exhausted. I was rescued by Seth's smile and then answers. I got answers ! Finally. He did not force His upon me but He guided me towards the one's I had been thinking on. And I questioned Him then... on my pieces. All my pieces that had fallen apart. He assured me that He knew all my pieces and where they belonged and once word was given.. He would begin to rebuild them. I knew the word would be Kam's. And I nodded.
It was good to learn that Kam had not said No. No one bothered to come to me and tell me what happened. Even when I spoke to Kam about what went on He offered no words other than to ask if what I thought was true. I did not dig further either. So Seth needs to prove Himself worthy of me. Interesting. This is all new to me. I never had to deal with this before. Making my own decisions on who I was going to mate was usually just between me and the one I wanted to be with. The exception being Shi. That was all His decision.. and a spur of the moment one at that.
About this time.. Seth removed a small box from behind Him and handed it to me. Opening it.. I found an old key. He told me it went to a chest in His wagon that held things He had been collecting for me. He told me of the contents and that I had to wait till I was allowed in His wagon to look at them. Ack.. torture. But I nodded and listened. He said there was a necklace that held an unusual stone. I would be gifted with this on the night of Him claiming me. There was a brush and comb and sissors to tend my hair with. A special fur for our first night together. There were other boxes to be explored... and He would save them for a surprise. But He did mention inside one was the stone I threw at Him when He was a prospect. Somehow that touched me. I couldnt wait to see it again.
He stroked my cheek and told me it was time to sleep. I felt I could and He walked me back to my wagon. Taking up His post on the platform where He could listen for me and watch the childrens wagons. Just knowing He was outside was a comfort. Soon.. I would sleep fully again.. safely in His arms.. comforted and protected from the dreams that haunt.
..... Soon.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment