It was the sudden burst of energy that had me calculating the days till the birth. I had rested most of the day near that old wagon of mine... Dakota and I were left alone to talk.. to think.. and to plan. The last time I was here.. it was me with all the bright and well.. not so bright idea's. Was it so smart for me to return to the Main Harigga that fatefull day 20 passings ago? Was it even smarter to have let that Tuchuk Commander catch up with me... perhaps I should have rode harder. When He offered me the choice to return with Him.. as His.. or die.... could I have thought twice? Would I have wanted to miss Shanay and Dakota growing up... and missed the chance to have my Wilybug.. my Talia... my Midnight Starr... my precious Mia and Sonny.... ??? Could I have stayed working as a back wagon healer.. would I have missed everyone that I love so dearly at those first wagons... all good questions... no real answers. Skies... a person could go crazy thinking about this stuff.
So the day moved on and my pains eased to the point I could hide them from my Son and Jax enough to continue to the Outpost to set up for trading. Dakota kept close to me.. several times asking if He should send Enu back to retrive Shi. I adamently shook my head each time... Shi was busy and not to be bothered... besides.. what was He going to do... stand around and watch me?? phulleeseeeee !! It was several Ahn's later when I noticed Enu missing.... and My Son.. so eloquently stated that He was out scouting the area. MmmmHHHhhmmmm... right Dakota. He had sent Him back to inform Shi. I knew it.. but that redheadded..blue eyed handsome face just grinned that little grin of His and continued to His work.
Word came that the wagon torches and lanterns were seen about 4 Ahn's turning from the outpost... they would prolly begin arriving in the wee Ahn's of morning. An area was set up for them to hitch to along with a resting spot till first light. I always avoid trading at night... unless necessary. Easier to see who is lurking and where.
Once again I was forced to rest. Dakota at my side... His hands gently massaged oil into my back to help with the cramping. Once and awhile He would place a hand to my tight stomach.. feeling the rolling and the push of legs and arms against His palms. He whispered to me.. "Soon Mother" and I nodded... He would make a good healer... He'd been taught well. But His heart was serving His people as a Commander... and this made me smile. I closed my eyes to dream of Shi... the way I want it to be.. the way I need it to be.. the way I need Him to be... and finally the tension in my body relaxed. My Son drew me against Him and pulled a small fur over me. He sat with His paga near the fire.. humming quietly. I couldnt change anything I wanted to... but at least I could have what I wanted and needed in my dreams. I did fight to keep my dreams to myself.. to keep them from travelling the plains and reaching Shi... I took comfort in the fact I could finally dream...
and the screaming had stopped.
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