Nahir let me sit with Her for a long time.. no words. Just curled against Her leg as I did when I was little. The aged hand.... gnarled fingers.. but soft stroking of it's motion against my head and hair... returned me to a time when nothing weighed so heavily on my shoulders. She didnt insist on me talking.. She had given the offer and simply waited. I didnt know where... if any place.. I could begin at. Even when I tried to think of a starting point.. everything flooded together. A giant wave of water that had a starting point.. but blended together and threatened to crash down and suffocate me... or churn me into a pulp against the hard.. jagged bottom. Still.. I could feel Her smiling at me and this somehow relaxed me again. " Aunt... " I whispered to Her and I was 10 Envars old in voice. " Im selfish. I want so much and Im disappointed when I dont get it " For a moment.. Her fingers stopped in my hair and then the pads made small little circles against my scalp. " Silken Child... wanting is normal.. letting it consume you is not" Aunt said. I rested my cheek against Her boney knee and spoke. "But Aunt.. When I mated Seth.. I thought it would be different. I thought He would treat me better then the rest... He knew what I so deperately desired.. He promised Aunt.. He promised it would be different.. He promised to care." I sighed and I think Aunt laughed.. though no sound came out. "Silken... are you and your children not fed? Are you healthy? Do you not have wagons that turn their wheels and carry your supplies?" As Aunt spoke I looked up to Her and sighed with a nod as I spoke. "Yes Aunt.. this is all true... but... I am missing the company of my Mate.. I am missing His arms around me and the walks.. talks... interaction of two lovers Aunt. " I said with another sigh. " IF He loved me.... " I started to say when Aunt took ahold of my chin and turned it rather sharply up to Her. The wrinkles in Her skin showed a shrewd scowl. "Dont ever say that Silken.. ever. He loves you. I know this without ever meeting Him.. or knowing Him. Your children are a glow with life and you have a fire inside you that I know proves such as well.. You just choose to let all your worries cover it up." As Aunt spoke the harsh look faded back into Her smiling.. reassuring gaze of compassionate dark eyes. " You are a unique creature Silken... If Seth does not see this.. then He does not know you.. but since He claimed you.. I think He does. " Aunt nodded and let go of my chin. I returned my gaze to the ground but still held around Her legs.. clinging like a frightened child. She then peeled me from Her and guided me up to stand... holding firm to my hands and grinned. "Silken.. get some dinner ready for all.. we will talk more once the little one's are settled for bed and the Warriors have taken their posts for the night. Go on now.. scoot ! " I nodded with a half smile and walked to the wagon to get some food and drink. It was then that the tears ran down my cheeks.. Her words had made sense.. but I was still lost in a world of confusion.
The floodgates had opened.
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