In all the turnings Ive known tanya... or had her as my slave... I can count on one hand how many times Ive seen her cry... and I would still have fingers left over. she is a tough girl... if there was ever an example of a slave that did what she should and act how a slave should.. it is her.
I had left her chained to Shi's wagon near the main fire.. with instruction to the guard that if the girl was needed to serve.. she could be released to do so. I went off to tend a young girl in labor. It was a difficult delivery.. newly mated... and now scaired out of her wits. It was very late when I finally returned to our wagons. I saw the chain empty and smiled. I figured Shi had come back and found the girl and she had told Him about being a gift to Him... He released her and everything was ok. It wasnt until I was washing up for sleep... when I heard the soft sobbing coming from under the wagon. I moved to investigate.. crouching down and peering into the darkness. I could see a form under it.. curled up.. and called out... Come out from there... who is that? I was taken back to then see tanya crawl from under the wagon. her usual neatly combed hair was rustled and wild.. her face was tear streaked... white trails had etched themselves in her cheeks. she knelt before me once out from under the wagon and expressed her greetings. I could hear it in her voice... something was wrong. When I asked her.. she replied that Master had accepted my gift to Him and He had taken her as His slave. So... I wondered.. why the water works? I asked her to bring me a wet cloth.. only then.. when she stood up.. did I see the angry welts and dots of blood on her back. It made me cringe. I let her return with the cloth and then kneel... told her to stay.. where I went and got my satchel and some furs. Spreading the furs out on the ground near the fire.. I had tanya lay to her stomach. she'd never been whipped before... ever. her flesh was not used to such... it showed in the breaking of skin.. not torn.. but blood seeped from a few spots. she told me another one of Shi's girls had put some salve on her... but it wasnt the stuff I made and used. The welts still glowed fire hot... I could feel the heat coming from them.... but how pretty they were against her dark skin. I didnt tell her this. I counted at least 5 strikes.. they were heavy.. Shi held nothing back. I shook my head wondering why on Gor He would beat her like this... especially one so new to the whip... but I would not openly question Him. He was a Man... I had no say. Carefully.. I wiped the old salve... I know it hurt.. I tried to be gentle as possible... still tanya tried so hard not to cry.. she was fighting herself to stop it. I dabbed the blood from her back and applied fresh clover oil and my special salve that started to take the flame from each welt. tanya sighed with a breath of relief as the stinging eased away. Loosely... I tied her hair up... wrapping it atop her head and lay a light cloth over her back to keep the dirt from it while she slept.. if at all. When she knelt back up before me.. I couldnt help but pull her close to me and hold her. This girl.. had been to the dusts and back with me... and never would I have thought I could care about a slave... but I did this one. she knew my secrets and my pain... the pain I keep hidden and unknown. I told her it was not a weakness to cry... it was ok... even me.. the cast iron bitch cried... and sometimes.. it just made us feel better. I must have opened something for this little sprite of a girl started sobbing against me... clinging to me like one of my children would. I allowed it. she told me between gasps that she was afraid of Shi. Well... who wouldnt be?? He was a Man... He had a whip... and He showed her He wouldnt hesitate to use it. Seeing her back.. even I was a bit fearfull. It could have been me. Would He ever do that to me if I did something so terrible? I had to push that thought from my mind. I felt tanya sliding down.. she had quieted.. and upon closer look.. she was alseep. Cried herself to sleep.. right there. I motioned to Jax to carry her to my small spare wagon... that was here's from before. We spread out the furs and Jax lay her to them gently on her side. Covering her lightly... I looked back at her.. twitching and still gasping now and then. I would check on her in the morning.
I went to the fires to find Cana and Ba'atar there. We spoke briefly.. and I was shocked to find out that Shi had whipped tanya right there at the main post. Cana said it would have been better if Shi took her from the main fires to do what He did... and I could only shrug. I told Cana I had stopped making excuses for Shi long ago. Again... He was a Commander... a Man... a Warrior.. He had His reasons. Maybe not so evident right now... but they always made sense sooner if not later. I was tired... and my belly was getting heavy.. hard to carry. So I bid the two a good night and returned to the wagon. Shi was not there when I climbed into our furs... this is not uncommon. Im quite used to it infact. I was lucky.. sleep took me quickly. As much as I wanted to talk to Shi... it would have to wait till tomorrow.
I was curious as to what the day would hold.
We shall see.
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