He came for me. In the early morning. I had not even fully gotten up from sleeping when He entered the wagon.. dressed and all ready to go. I watched every movement He made.. mostly I watched His hands. I saw the love for me in His eyes... I prayed that He could show me.. tell me... somehow... someway. He unlocked the chain.. gave my ankle a good massage while speaking to me. His voice was low.. quiet.. very comforting. He's been busy.. He told me. Very busy. I wanted to be selfish and say.. Arent I important too? But I didnt.. Tribe above all. I know this now. So.. He scooped me up.. tossed me my clothing and braided my hair as I dressed. He had given me my riding clothes and when He saw the look on my face.. simply said.. "Today you go with me" His hand to my lower back guided me out of the wagon. I didnt want to leave the security of the wagon. I wanted to run back in and hide.. but His hand and the pressure to my back was persistant. We walked to the pens.. and Seth lifted me to the saddle of Thumper. Then Seth swung to the saddle of His beast. He took the reins of my kaiila and we began to walk out to the plains. His detail of Men on each side. He brought His kaiila close to mine.. and reached over to secure my braid in His hand..giving it a small tug before He rolled the woven ribbons between His fingers. I sighed... I wanted this so badly... I wanted Him.. I wanted us.. I wanted things to be normal again. I heard the laughter of many in my ears again.. and I looked to the Men under His command.. they never batted an eye. I knew that only I heard the voices. When I closed my eyes and looked down.. wincing.. Seth gave another tug to my braid.. firmer than the last time and called my name rather sternly. I looked to Him... "Help me" I tried to say.. but I had no voice. Just some pitifull look on my face. He smiled that small smile I think is reserved just for me.. and my shoulders relaxed. I had forgotten that Dakota was under Seth's command.. all up until my Son rode to my other side and handed me a bota. He told me it was water and I would drink now. He left no question or room toargue. And I did.. I drank and handed it back to Him. Kota looked to Seth with a mask of concern.. Seth simply nodded and gave my son a reassuring smile and then instructions on where and what they were doing today. The Men were not on duty.. but simply out working on whatever Men do in spare time. Seth was trying to include me in His day while keeping a watch over me.. this I knew right away. When ever I drifted away from concentrating on the now of things.. there came another tug to my braid and I would be drawn back to His eyes. He never judged me.. He never chastized me. He only made sure that I knew He was there.
We stopped for lunch. His men surrounded us while Seth took out some meat strips and bread. He continued to talk away.. filling me in on things he had seen and done.. and even telling stories now and then. He would pass me pieces of meat and bread.. placed to my lips and I was given once more no other option but to eat. He didnt force me but He was persistant in making sure I took what He deemed "just the right amount of food" Once we were all fed and watered.. we starting riding again. Seth still had my reins and braid in one hand. By late afternoon.. I was tired. He lifted me from my saddle and placed me before Him. I was drawn tightly against His chest.. even in the heat of the day.. I didnt try to squirm away. The motion of the kaiila.. the deep rumble of His voice against my ear.. His fingers roaming my body... lulled me into a sleep shortly after joining Him.
Why.. cant it always be this way?
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