I should have known better
Than to let you go alone
It's times like these
I can't make it on my own
Wasted days, and sleepless nights
And I can't wait to see you again
I find I spend my time
Waiting on your call
How can I tell you, babe
My back's against the wall
I need you by my side
To tell me it's alright
Cos I don't think I can take anymore
Is this love that I'm feeling
Is this the love that I've been searching for
Is this love or am I dreaming
This must be love
Cos it's really go a hold on me
I can't stop the feeling
I've been this way before
But, with you I've found the key
To open any door
I can feel my love for you
Growing stronger day by day
And I can't wait too see you again
So I can hold you in my arms
I hate the fires. Really I do. People there just piss me off. There are a few exceptions.. very few. Tarra knocked me on my ass tonight. Anyone else would have done that.... they would have gotten their head headed to them. I growled at Arigh for touching Her. I was mad that the Woman would think to touch Her. She's pregnant not an invalid. Ehhh I dont know. Maybe I should just stop caring all together. Seth showed up and I asked if I could get them anything to eat or drink. I was told no.. this was all well and good.. until... blue sauntered up to Seth in her drippy spongie ways and offered to serve Him... to which.. He said yes. YES !!!! My blood boiled. I was pissed. What... Im not good enough? Im not pleasing to the eye? Ohhh but a fucking slave is. Fine. Tarra knew I was ready to explode. And I was... I felt like He was putting a slave over me. I felt like the bitch was more capable of doing something.. and I wasnt able to do anything but sit there and look pretty. Why should I be surprised? All the Men here do it. I was actually sick to my stomach. In my time.. a slave did not just approach the Free... they were called. This bold and slinky move of the girl just rubs me the wrong way... and Im not the only one that it does. But that doesnt matter.. times change... this I know. It does no good to explain it.. nor correct it. These slaves think they are untouchable. Maybe they are trying to do wrong... to get the attention of a certain man.. good or bad.
Then Arigh started with Her.. psychoanalyzing and I wanted to wretch more. She told me something along the lines of someday She hoped I would not see Her as a stranger. Well.. guess what.. I told Her that if I saw Her as a stranger... She would have a hole in Her neck to bleed out. She just doesnt get it. No one does. I dont trust. Trust no one. Again.. few and far between to those I do. Ive known this Woman hardly a few moons and Im supposed to just be all cutsie cutsie.. buddy buddy? Ehhhh piss on that. Ive been burned too many times. Nope. Not happening. Arigh up and left. Whatever. I dont dwell on this shit. I am how I am and getting to know me on my terms is better than trying to force a friendship down my throat.
Fonce asked Seth if He and I were an item. Seth said He hoped it would be so... once Kam returned. He also said He loved me.. outloud... very.. out... loud. Wow... that was wierd. I wanted to look and see if Fonce was checking out Seth's hands... cause... it was He that said it would take a big man to handle me.. and I said.. there arent many Men with hands that big. When I decided to move before I got into my old ways and started to snip-out... Seth told me to sit. I didnt want to.. I wanted to move away and diffuse the situation on my part. He ordered it again.. with a tone that said... not to screw with Him. So... I did. I had to sit back down. Seth took my hand again and held it. It felt good. It was calming. I just wonder if I did the right thing? This is all so new to me. It changed my mood. I left the fires to return to the wagon. Confused.. and upset. Is this love?
Somebody please... explain it to me.
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