So I found Kam at the main fire.. devouring food which seems to be the common thing for Him to do. He questioned me as to why I wasnt asking Him twenty questions about His and Seth's talk. I responded... I didnt have to. He must have said no.. since Seth didnt claim me. He shoveled more food in His mouth. He said is that what I thought.. and I said.. the answer was obvious. Damn it.. He just kept eating. I took out my flask.. loaded with that ever dreaded and addicting juice.. from my vest and took a sip. That's when Kam stopped eating and looked at me with daggers for eyes. I got a .... hand it over by the count of three... He was on two by the time I wrestled it back out of my pocket. He sniffed it and then dumped out my juice.. saying I didnt need this. Now.. there are things I am possessive of.. and things I am down right tear your arm off... mine mine mine !! My flask is one of them. Jerus gave it to me.. long ago when there was trouble with a certain slave that was putting stuff in my drinking choices. Ive used it ever since. When I go to the fires I put some juice or water in it so I dont have to worry. raven or tanya are not always around to get me things. Somewhere in the mix Seth and Tarra had shown up.. though I was totally focused on my flask that I thought for sure was going to end up in the metal scrap heep or worse.. the fire. I jumped up and took it from Kam.. and He gave me a choice.. the flask.. or chained to His wagon. I didnt give Him an answer.. but I wasnt about to give up my flask. Needless to say... to my embarassment.. I was chained to His wagon wheel.
I wanted to tell Tarra to stop... not to bother on my defense... but She kept at Kam.. asking Him why He did such. And it was true I had never been told not to use my flask... but I just kept my mouth shut. She made valid points and I felt like Kam skirted the issue.. which.. still I have no clue as to why He went off like He did. But.. its not my place to know or say... so again.. just shut the fuck up Silken.
There is something about the clunk of chain against wood that makes my teeth hurt. I couldnt stop the tremble that coursed through me as they spoke back and forth. Tarra was getting angry and I so didnt want this. Eventually.. to apease them.. I handed my flask over to Seth. Kam had Him clean it out and then said I could have it back. I refussed. Tarra said I dont need memories of Jerus getting in the way of Seth and I. I dont really think about anymore.. but I guess I must cause She said so. Seth said He would keep it safe for me.
The chains were released... but the emotional scars remain. I just dont know who or what I am anymore. I dont know what to say or do without it being wrong. I feel like Im tied and bound to something that I just cant figure out. My hands are tied...
or is that.... chained.
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