For hands upon hands... Ive been thinking constantly.. How to make a square peg fit into a round hole. Tonight... I discovered the answer. You dont. It wont fit... it never will. Sure.. you can cut one down.. cut one up.. shave off till it fits.. but it will always be a round hole and a square peg. You just... adapt... and accept. Fuck. Was it really that simple?
This great moment of clarity comes after being at the main fires. Ive met and spoken to the Prospect... Marika? I think it was. Not so sure about Her yet.. She is too quiet.. and the Woman cant sit still. In comes Oson. I was pleased to see Him. He started to ask me about His son.. Patch.. and about Ina. I carefully avoid saying much in the open. I have made a promise you see.. to two very important Men. I am filing those rough edges I have.. and I am going to help with things at the main fire. I offered Oson my ears.. and He accepted... so we took to a small walk down the rows. I let Him guide the conversation... not digging... but offering words of encouragement. In time.. I hope Oson will be able to come back and we can speak more... all on His time and at His own pace. I am pissed at Ina for such a foolish thing to do. Taking Patch from the plains and running away. That is what it is.. running away. Yes.. Ive been guilty of saying I wanted to leave at times.. but who hasnt. Honestly. In any case.. Oson said He would return and look for me after He had settled back in. He needed a check up and I would of course help Him out.
On my way back to the Nightmare... I heard the sounding of the drums. I really wasnt paying attention... in the way that I stopped to listen.. but I was hearing what they said. A Warrior had been made a Commander of Or. But.. oh.. I did stop in my tracks... suddenly and stood there wide-eyed. Seth? Now I strained to listen once more as it was repeated and I damned near jumped outta my boots. It was true.. Seth had been made an Or. I ran to His wagon and sat on the steps... now I looked like I had ants in my leathers... I couldnt wait for Him to get back. I had a huge smile.. and nervous laughter filled the area. I dismissed tanya for the night... I wanted this to be a special moment between us. Had He heard the news???
It would be great... if.. I could tell Him.
And I will.
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