(OOC breifly... what happened r/t in my real life.. I am trying not to let effect me or Silken. But I am human and I am scorned. I will try very hard not to let this seep into Her roleplay. Silken will be playing Seth's death very casually because 1. I have wasted too much time waiting and being a fool and 2. Seth really had no connection to Her ever due to His issues. They only ever saw each other twice since the mating... so really.. this is no loss to Her. Please be patient with us both. The shell has cracked and it's time for the butterfly to emerge. Where this takes us.. I have no idea. But.. it is onward to better things. I have many that love us both... I was blind for a long time.. but now I see. Thank you to all my friends that support us, Silken and me the Mun. Thank you to all those that came forward and confirmed what we already knew. Thank you all.. from the bottom of my heart. I love you. Yes..... I am better.. I am fine... I deserve much more.... I AM WORTH IT!!! )
Once I was over the shock of it all... Nahir packed up the kids and the wagons.. well.. She ordered Jax to do it all... and we were heading back to the Harigga. It took awhile but we arrived back at the circle of Main wagons. The kids were glad to be back. I was too. I went and told Tarra what happened. The news I received. She was not surprised. I also went to find Nette. I thought much of Her when I was gone. I missed Her... I felt a connection to Her ever since She was freed. I see Her like a daughter and a friend... but moreso.. a Sister. Nette is much like me.. more than we care to admit I think. But... I know She see's and feels much like I do. I sat and talked to Her for a long time. Pieces fell into place.. things that were missing and I was afraid to bring up with my life. I felt sheer relief in knowing I was not crazy or simply paranoid. I felt good ! I left Nette and Tarra with promise's that we would be spending much more time together. I needed Tarra... I needed Nette and they both accepted me with open arms. I felt loved again. I felt whole. I am so thankful.
My wagons were moved. I had them all taken near Shi's. I didnt know where else to go honestly. tanya came with us. I will have Kam or Shi remove the collar and give her back mine... or see if she wants to go with one of the Men instead. I will take the time to see she is cared for as she also deserves. The kids were happy to be back with Shi also. Not sure if Shi will be happy about this... but I dont think He will turn us away. I have no family.. well.. other than Nahir that returned with us. I gave Her a few wagons and bosk and I will need to approach Kam for permission for Her to stay among the First Wagons. My Aunt will help me with the children being Im back to being alone again. But Im not really. I have great kids.. a loving family of friends and Sisters and Brothers. I can say honestly also that.. I feel a great relief. There is no need to worry anymore. What is done is done... perhaps it was for the best. Greater forces control destiny.. and this was not mine. My destiny is out there somewhere... a real Man is out there. One who wont destroy me... but nurture me and guide me in life. I need that. And I will have it... but this time.. on my terms. I will be important... not a trophy. My bridges have been mended. I owned up to my mistakes. There is a higher justice we all must face and I can go knowing I was honest. I loved with all my heart and soul. The Skies forgive... only so much. Those that passed before us forgive... only to a point. I... forgive... but I will never forget. The circle was broken and now has mended. Everything comes full circle. Everything comes back to haunt. My demons are gone now. I am whole again. I feel good. Im going to make dinner for the kids and Nahir... Jax... Enu.. Raz... Flip n Flop.. even Piss and Moan. Im going to set a plate for Shi... smack dab in the midst's of all my children. Man... is He in for a surprise. Heh.. Heh.. SURPRISE... its a girl.. and a girl.. and a boy.. and another girl.. and another boy. He always said we had a home with Him. He always said He would take care of us.... I wonder what He thinks now??? ::grins::
What do I think???? Stupid is.. as stupid does.
:::laughs:::
I counted the falling tears
That fell before my eyes
Seems like a thousand years
Since we broke the ties
I called you on the phone
But I never got a rise
So sit there all alone
It's time you realize
I'm not your fool
Nobodys fool Nobodys fool
I'm no fool
Nobodys fool Nobodys fool
You take your road
I'll take mine
The paths have both been beat
Searchin' for change of pace
Life needs to be sweetened
I sang my heart out just to make a dime
With that dime I bought you love
But now I've changed my mind
I'm not your fool
Nobodys fool Nobodys fool
I'm no fool
Nobodys fool Nobodys fool
I'm no fool
Nobodys fool Nobodys fool
I counted the falling tears
That fell before my eyes
Seems like a thousand years
Since we broke the ties
I'm no fool
No more.
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