Friday, October 3, 2008

Page 309 (2/23/2008) Maybe... it isnt me

When I originally thought to change... I thought it would be for the better. But I see now that I wasnt changing for me... but I was changing for them. Them being those that said they cared. Yet when I did make progress.. it didnt seem to matter. So... now that Im pretty good on the up and up... Im no use to them anymore. Im the subject of snide comments and stares. Let's poke some fun at Silken's expense. Lets make Her feel like shit. Good. Back to where we were originally. Now we can get on with life and have fun. Im game. Laugh it up. I sure am.
Seth gave me a new statue. It is of a kaiila and it has the most interesting of stone's in it's jaws. The stone is reddish.. and when you turn the little statue the stone seems to jump to life like fire. He says it reminds Him of me. This is always a good thing. Maybe I should let Him hold onto it... so He thinks of me more... if.. that is at all possible. Im going to have to tell Him to concentrate on His new command... instead of me. I asked Him what His plans were now.. with the new Men... and He said He was told to set up a raiding party with them before engaging in anything else. This should be interesting. I wonder what new and fasinating baubles I might get out of this.
I was very tired tonight... being the only healer around the Harigga. I had many people to see and tend. I kept looking at that stone.. and moving around from the table to make it change colors. It's like my own personal little hand-held fire. The little one's got a kick out of it.. and it kept them busy while I did what needed to be done with them... instead of having to bribe them with treats.
So for now.. I am just sitting on the platform and relaxing as the moons dance up into the night Sky. The move is on my mind... there is much to be done before it. Even Seth will have little time as He needs to make more things for the wagons. I have to start to stock pile the medicines and bandages. I need to get all the herbs ground and into salves and such also. I headed into the wagon to rest. Just couldnt keep my eyes open. It was cold and the light from two candles made shadows flicker on the inside of the canvas. Too lazy tired to start up a small fire in the bowl.. I snuggled under the furs and just lay there thinking. Things seem to be clearer now.. nothing seems to bother me anymore. This is good. I can get back to concentrating on what is important....
... Life.

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