It's been a few days since I could sit down and jot my memories to parchment. Ive been... busy. Moving wagons.. relocating.. rediscovering. Shi has taken my wagons and placed my main one's near His... actually very close to His... like right next door. Heh. Things seems so different.. so new.. so.. alive. I know I keep saying about this.. haze I was living under.. that has lifted. So clear.. are the nights.. and so bright are the days. Shi.. is different. I guess I am too. I lost alot of my sharp edges.. I lost alot of my defensiveness. I think Tarra was right.. that when I opened up and let it all out.. I would calm. I am calm.. and peaceful... for the moment. Ohhh.. Im sure given the right situation.. my old self will emerge.. the brassyness.. the brazen one... but for now.. I am enjoying the Woman.. I have been released to be. My trials.. I hope.. are over.. and life awaits me.
I had been giving Shi some time.. time to chew over the words He and I spoke to each other. It was He that brought up the fact by old laws.. we are still mated... we each have the other's blood coursing through our veins. I never drained for a ceremony.. nor did He. He said He never stopped caring.. never stopped loving me... I confirmed that neither did I. It was fate that took us apart.. but it had to be done.. I had to rid myself of my demons.. and He had to cast out His. Together again.. we are learning all over .. and I personally like.. so far.. what I have seen. He has taken up my Guardianship. Im not surprised.. I assume no one will be. As for mating again... that is between Him and I. Be it a day.. a hand or an Envar.. we will know when. He has always steered me to the right path.. I leave it up to Him. I know when it will be time... I only hope.. that He.. can look me in the eyes and say everything His heart wishes. No hiding.. No stumbling.. No guessing.. just.. the words.
He did two beautiful paintings of me... I was taken aback by how well He captured me just from His minds eye. If that is any indication of what He feels.. I am honored. We placed the paintings in one of the wagons that we shared as Mates. Shi told me by old law.. this wagon still belonged to me. I didnt take it over immediately.. I mean really.. I have too many wagons now as it is.. but maybe someday.. we will share in a life once more together and use it.
Im willing and ready to give life... another chance.
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