Since returning from my journey.. I had little time to sit with Aunt. I made an effort to go see Her today at the wagon I had given Her. She was adjusting well.. actually better than I. Taking over Shi's camp like a typical elder Mother Vulo. I paused and chuckled as She fell into the role of barking orders to the Men... mine and Shi's. They argued little or received a broom to the back of the head and the promise that next time the old steel skillet would be used.. "And dont think I cant swing it hard enough either !!! " She shouted with a grin. "Carefull Aunt.. they may start fearing you more than me.. " I said with a chuckle. Aunt's smile appeared and Her arms opened for me. I walked with pride to Her and we embraced for several long Ehn. I was drawn back from Her by a push of Her arms and She looked at me as if She was inspecting me. "Is something wrong Aunt?" "No" Nahir said.. "Nothing is wrong.. I just want to look at you. My.. beautiful Silken. " I smiled and said to come sit. Leading Her to the chair near the fire. I made two bowls of blackwine and sat beside Her. Her fingers tapped the bowl and I was given a scrutinizing glance. I looked back to Aunt... knowing that gaze. "Ok Old Woman.. Out with it. You have something on your mind." I said with a chuckle and sipped my blackwine. Nahir nodded and looked into the swirling liquid of Her bowl. "I met your Warrior. Shi." She said. "MY Warrior?? Whatever made you say that Aunt?" The bowl was set down to my knee with those words. "Because Silken... there is love in those eyes. They burn with the embers of your heart." Aunt said. I pish-poshed Her with a wave of my hand. "Aunt.. Shi was my Mate. Things didnt work out. We had.... issues." If that summed it up enough I thought. Aunt's hand reached to cover mine.,, and She spoke in such soft tones.. I was lulled to listen carefully. "Silken.. You both had things to deal with. He had His.. You had yours. You both took different path's after your Mating. You both discovered yourselves. There was little I had to do when I called you to me child. There is love there Silken. I dont think He ever stopped loving you." When Aunt finished speaking.. I stood up. I was angered. "Nahir.. do not speak of what you dont know or understand. Shi... could not open up to me or speak His mind. He... still.. cant. Besides.. He ended it. He wouldnt want me back" I leaned against the wagon post. Nahir didnt move.. but called to me from Her chair. "Silken... It is hard for some Men to say things to a Woman they love. They think they must always be strong. Showing emotions... may make they look weak." I turned and looked to Aunt. "But Aunt.. I think that hiding such feelings and words.. makes a Man weak. A Man that can speak His heart to one He loves is stronger than ten Men together." I said with a huff. And Nahir motioned me back to sit. I did so with a sigh. "You are correct Silken... but Men dont see past that wall of pride." Aunt said. I shook my head. "I love Shi.. Aunt. I never hid that fact before.. during or after this last mating. I just can't be with a Man I have to treat like one of my children. That is my pattern.. that is my weakness. I want a Man that takes control of His Mate.. cares for Her. Embraces Her weaknesses and teaches Her. A Man that.... Shows Up..." I said with a hard accent on those last two words. Nahir chuckled. "You are definately not weak Silken... A large overflowing handfull... but you are not weak. You are mindset to fight.. constantly.. even with the Man you love. You embrace the challenge and crave the battle given back... but in the end.. you are like most of us. You want defeat. You want your Man to claim what is His." "That's crazy Aunt. Your losing your mind" I said with a tinge of nervousness to my voice. "Is it Silken? Am I? Maybe so... but I know what I see.. and I know your heart LittleHawk." As Aunt said this.. as She called me by that name.. I snapped a glare to Her and spoke shocked. "Why did you call me that !!!" Nahir smiled and said.. "Because it was your nickname as a child. You were the littlest Hawk... Without the E.... littlehawk" "Without the E? What's that mean Aunt? I thought my name was Sairai Navarro?" I said and shook my head. "It was Silken. That was the name given to you upon your being taken and hidden from the Men that wanted you dead. Your Family name.. was Hawke.. with an E at the end." As Aunt spoke.. all color drained from my face. "I was born a Hawke. This just keeps getting better. So.. what IS my real name Aunt? What name was I born with?" I looked to Her directly and She smiled... taking my hand and patting it. "A most beautiful name Silken. Taeleah Ember Hawke. Your Father said your hair reminded Him of the calming fires and yet their deadly bite. No one outside of your Mother..Father.. Brothers and Myself knew Silken." I repeated the name slowly.. letting it flow from my tongue... and somehow.. it fit. It was like a missing piece of a puzzle. And I suddenly grew nervous and scaired. I stood and kissed Aunt's cheek quickly. "Please excuse me Aunt. There is something I must tend to." I said and turned... but Aunt's hand grabbed my wrist and I was drawn back to look at Her. "Silken.. do not lock this away. Do not shut yourself off again. Open up. Spread your wings like a newborn butterfly...See what is around you. You will find it is worth looking at. I love you child." She said with a smile. I could only nod and whispered. "I need to find Shi.. or Tarra." Aunt just nodded and I turned to leave. Heading rather quickly to that small last wagon of Shi's that had become my home. Inside I leaned to the wall and slid down to sit. Drawing my knees up and resting my chin to them. My eyes closed. Thoughts swirled. Tense.. confused.. relieved.... I fell asleep.
I drempt of butterflies.
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