How it started.... I dont know... where it wound up... and how.. I dont know. I do know I was enjoying time at the fires with Shi.. Tarra... Saresh.. Ramza.. Ina and several other's. Saresh fell into one of those.... "sleeps" again. He'd been warned of the dangers of falling asleep with some of us around. I was sitting next to Saresh and of course.. speaking to Him when He had this latest attack of narcolepsy. Now it is well known that one of the pockets in my vest contains many little pink ribbons for just such a moment. I added these to Saresh's head.. and was given some lavender bows as well and same color face paint from Ina. So.. me.. being me.. dolled up Saresh just nicely. I used the face pain to do a smilie face on His forehead and even painted His scars... it was water based paint... no harm right? WRONG!! With a big capitol W. Tarra said that messin with a Man's scars was a no-no. I agree.. had I done something permanent... after all I was still miffed over this Man messin with my backside and carrying me off like a common slave. I also called Saresh.. Reshie.... A nickname in response to His calling me Silky Wilky. He was good with this... so was I. In steps Shi... and starts His.. looks... and calling my name.. crooking the finger over to Him.. etc. Well it turned up I had to clean up the paint... not that I was happy about this.. but I made a promise to Shi that I will keep... so.. in typical Silken style.. got me a bucket of water and went to... give Saresh a bath. My arm drew back.. and I was about to toss the water.. when... Shi caught me. Why's He always gotta be watching. This then resulted in me wiping the scars clean with a rep.. leaving Saresh a dripping mess of lavender paint and water. To my embarassment... Shi up and hauled me off to a wagon and gave me a talking to. He kept pacing.. He was yelling about messing with a Man's scars... and something about a Man... "Sir-name" (Surname)
I had no clue what a Sir name is... Ive never called any one Sir Shi or Sir Saresh.. Sir Kam.. Sir Fonce... such as that. How could I have done this??? But Shi was in "correction of Silken mode"... and I wasnt about to make Him mad... I hate when He yells at me as it is. I was ordered to go back and appologize. So I did. I said.. Reshie... Im sorry fer paintin yer scars and putting ribbons in ya hair.. even If ya did look adorable. And Reshie accepted... but the other's didnt. Shi still flipped over me calling Saresh.. Reshie.. and even my sister warned me. I didnt understand... I didnt mess with His "Sir name" I got defensive.. I wasnt doing what they said... why were they yelling at me !!!!!
I left the fires.. having to prepare for a trip the next day.. to which again Shi grounded me. Im so confused now... Im trying so hard... maybe Im trying to hard... I just dont seemed to be getting anywhere. I cant change overnight... somethings I cant change at all... I just want to live again.. to love and laugh again... and be loved. I dont see that path for me now. Im back at a wall I cant seem to get over.... but if He's on the otherside waiting for me.... I need His help. Meet me half way........
By the way... Shi told me what a surname is... a Man's last name. Thus the confusion over Tarra telling me not to mess with a Man's name .. and to listen to what Shi was saying. I was listening to Shi and what He was saying.. I WASNT messing with Saresh's surname.....
... I DONT even KNOW Saresh's SURNAME!!!!!
::Shakes Her head and sighs::
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