Three days and already Im losing touch with the balance of things. I was asked if I can expect to follow the orders Jerus left. Sure... I can expect it. Will I? Yep... I will try. So what happened? Sheshhh I dont know.
Jerus left 3 keys.. One with Shi, one with Kam and one with Fonce. Now... like I said before I dont expect these Men to babysit me... I dont want it either. But... Jerus has His rules for me. I know them well. Are His measures of protection over the top for me? Perhaps... some might say... personally.. I dont mind. Shows how much He cares... and well how much He knows me. He knows rather than sleep... I would walk the herds at night. A dangerous place yes... but for me.. comforting.
In anycase... I heard the instructions left verbally with Shi... as He was there during the time of Jerus' departure. Jax and Jort were also to help... Shi, Kam and or Fonce with certain things morning and night in reguards to me and the.... making sure I remained in the wagon at night. If none of the 3 commanders were around... duties are left to Jax and Jort. Simple enough right? Nahhhhh nothing Jerus does is simple. This.. wagon... is far from simple. From the outside... it looks normal.. but on the inside it has a seperate compartment... to which I call it now my prison. Ohhhhh it's roomy, has a privacy curtain but it has a locked door in front of that. Every morning it's unlocked... and every night it's relocked.
This brings me to the incident of yesterday and the subsequent scuffle that left me wanting Shi's beating heart in my hand. I remain fully dressed at night now.. sleeping in full Tuchuk garb. No.. there wont be any accusations with the respects of Guards and such entering this wagon. Once released I can return to my regular wagon and bathe and change. Shi, Jax and Jort came in to unlock the door... and I exited the wagon. Shi and I spoke of a few things on the platform and found myself feeling like a small child being reminded of my duties. I am a grown Woman... I dont need such reminders. Especially when it comes to such common things as my hair. There was a time.. yes.. when I did.. but that was Jerus' wishes I followed.. it has since then be resolved and hadnt been a problem from that point on. But why I was backhanded... I still do not know. Perhaps this is the only way seen to.. keep me in line? Not sure.. but definately not a measure needed to make a point. And being told to Behave.. that just riled my guts into wanting blood. I needed to get away from the guards... before I did snap. This left me walking away from Shi and going to see Requiem. Shi followed and began another tirade of... The ongoing saga of the protection and safety of Silkenhawk. I tried to ignore it... remembering that it was a job left by my Mate. I was finally able to relax and sit and talk with Req. for awhile. Then... it was time for prison. I returned willingly and Jax and Jort did what was asked... lock down at night.. and returning this morning for release on good behavior.
There will be one night... one single night when they forget... and I can take Alpha for a ride.. maybe all night long.. and into the next day.. maybe I can go see Jerus... maybe I can just sit and watch Him from a distance... yes.. there will be just one night they dont lock the door...
wont there be??????
::Sighs:: I miss Jerus.....
He called her on the roadFrom a lonely cold hotel roomJust to hear her say I love you one more timeAnd when he heard the sound Of the kids laughing in the backgroundHe had to wipe away a tear from his eyeA little voice came on the phoneAnd said "Daddy when you coming home"He said the first thing that came to his mindI'm already thereTake a look aroundI'm the sunshine in your hairI'm the shadow on the groundI'm the whisper in the windI'm your imaginary friendAnd I know I'm in your prayersOh I'm already thereShe got back on the phoneSaid I really miss you darlingDon't worry about the kids they'll be alrightWish I was in your armsLying right there beside youBut I know that I'll be in your dreams tonightAnd I'll gently kiss your lipsTouch you with my fingertipsSo turn out the light and close your eyesI'm already thereDon't make a soundI'm the beat in your heartI'm the moonlight shining downI'm the whisper in the windAnd I'll be there until the endCan you feel the love that we shareOh I'm already thereWe may be a thousand miles apartBut I'll be with you wherever you areI'm already thereTake a look aroundI'm the sunshine in your hairI'm the shadow on the groundI'm the whisper in the windAnd I'll be there until the endCan you feel the love that we shareOh I'm already thereOh I'm already there
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