I remember the song my Mother sang to me when I was little.
A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true
Until receintly.. I blocked myself as much as possible from dreams... nightmares. With Jerus gone and Requiem's arrival... things have changed. My issues with the past are on their way to complete absolution. I learn more and more each day of Steel's and Hawks final wishes.. dreams and hopes for me. I find it wasn't my fault.. anything that happened.. but I was the reason they lived as long as they did. Perhaps someday this will comfort me.. right now I work on letting the anger go.
I have kept myself from the central fires... not to avoid.. but to prepare. Long ago I spoke of a new Tuchuk to emerge.. it is time for that metamorphysis. I have also been able to guide a Young Tuchuk Woman. She and Her companion do not visit the Harigga.. but they reside far out on the plains at a small.. quiet camp. They have been asked to join the central fires.. to which Her companion has refussed. Tis a shame for the Young Woman seems eager to learn and full of bright stories. Her name.. is Teah and She is the companion of Requiem. Watching the two together reminds me much of my younger years. Perhaps it is the resemblance to Steel, that Req. bears. But... I am happy for them.. none the less. I leave their camp missing Jerus immensley... but glad that perhaps just a bit of knowledge has left it's mark.
I havent seen Shi in several days. I heard He was stone drunk... so I have avoided Him too. His weakness disappoints me. He avoids His duties in fear of hurting me. And with Kam busy.. Fonce more than busy... it is left up to Shi to see things go as Jerus wished. Im not sure how He will take this.. especially how I havent exactly stayed in the wagon as told. But I still breath... nothing has happened to me. It is just part of my healing process. I have kept tabs on my Sister and Her family.. on Cana and Tug... and I am also glad to hear they are doing well.
The children are doing well.. Jerus' absence has left them a bit unruly.. but I would have it no other way. Their spark.. their.. fire is a piece of me. I dont see Dakota for days at a time.. then.. suddenly He rides in with a small flower or rock.. a gift from Jerus. Yes... I hear His voice on the winds.. He is well and anxious to return home.
Ahhh yes... the dream. I dozed off near the fire and was wrapped in loving arms... tender kisses and soft whispers. My body felt light and floated to the touch of fingertips. Rapture... bliss.. moments of sheer pleasure... that surely when I awoke.. was evident by a deep blush on my cheeks. If it was a wish my heart made... then keep on wishing. For this night I was not alone... but wrapped in His arms.. comforted by His voice.. and longing for more.
The dream that I wish... will come true.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment