I couldnt help it... but it was ohhhh so fun. I found myself at the main fires last night within the company of Kam.. Cana.. Tarra.. Dashie.. Shi... Falon and even Sareshshshhhiieeee made an appearance. It just happened.. I felt alive again... musta been another one of Falon's... little "pricks".. Im sure of it.. because I didnt think I could ever feel this way again. It all started with Cana and Falon coming in.. tired... and rashy... scratchin still... well...that is what happens when you sleep in itching powder. Oops.. my bad. They knew they had it coming... they just didnt know at first who did it. Falon was eyeing my girl's... but Cana... ahhhhh dear sweet Cana... She knew my signature powder. That was it... I smiled and I laughed for most of the night and into the wee morning hours with my family. We , the Women, discussed and voted on Shi being an ass... and then Trilok joined in about the time I got the kissing booth out.. which.. didnt turn out right.. literally. Shi turned it over with me in it.. Sarehshshshsiiiiieeeee tried to right it... I think He wanted a kiss.. heehee. This then left to the discussion of Man Boobs.. and Chesticules. And from there.. everything just kept spirling. The laughter.. ohh the laughter... even at my own expense.. was simply priceless. Somehow... Brute came in... thank you Kam. And I was rolled like a turtle in it's shell in the kissing booth. Then given a nice dunk in the river.. thank the Skies I had a bar of soap in my pocket. So.. all squeezy clean I went back to join the fires and continue with the fun... that is.. until Shi told me that Fonce had assigned Him my Guardianship. Can we say... Get the fluck outta here?.... I knew you could. I was not happy about this... I honestly dont want anyone.. especially a Man.. to have any hold over me... any say over me. Kam took the time.. for which I am thankful... to explain the duties of a Guardian. And that I have no choice... Shi is the one Fonce chose... against my wishes.. and I simply have to deal with it. Fonce's words are law.. plain and simple.. but I will still talk to Him... He always said He would listen to me... even though He may not agree with what I say.. He always has listened.
The children are doing well. Wily has begun to put flowers on Falon's step every morning again. Talia and Starr have been playing with Hallie and having sleep over's at Auntie Falon's wagon at night. Mia and Sonny have been playing with Shi and Tarra's first son.. who I have secretly nicknamed Jaz. Dakota has taken on the extra duties in the herds with an exceptional outlook... I am most proud of Him. Now that most of His studies with Kam in training weapons wise are over with.. He is going to ask Kam to help Him on a hunt for meat. He has taken over the role of Man of the Wagon's... and doing well. Shanay is still courting the young Warrior... they are cute together. Things seem to be falling back into place... minus a few bumps in the road here and there... hopefully it will get back to normal soon.
Many have spoken to me about things.. what is normal.. what isnt... and I seem to fall into the normal catagory... if I ever could be pegged as such. Life simply... goes on. If I let it drag me down.. If I dont enjoy it.. Ive wasted it. It feels good to laugh again... does that mean I dont hurt? No... I do... but it is a part of life.. it isnt fair... but no one can change it. What happened... happened. I wont ever forget. I never could. I dont want to forget somethings... some things I do. But everything that happens.. does for a reason. There is some fear of the future... hesitation to step back out into the world and say Ok here I am.. Im back... hit me again. I will keep getting up. A wise old Woman told me something last night....
The Heart May Freeze
Or It Can Burn
The Pain Will Ease
If you Can Learn
There Is No Future
There Is No Past
Live each Moment
As your Last
No day... but today.
Wise words.
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