Kam said no more paga... not even a taste... not a drop... ever. Well if that dont paint my breetches pink. That was three days ago.. and what can I do but obey Him. So Ive switched to wine. Got several bottles of the stuff... trading here and there for them. Ive always said... never know when they might come in handy. They have. Sleep was the ever elusive shadow of taunting laughter for days to me. That is.. until yesterday when I went to the fires. Tarra came home. I felt alive for the first time in hands. She always makes things better and I gave Her a warm reception with licks.. kisses and hugs. I asked Her what She brought me back from Her trip.. to which She replied that Falon and I had some new medical supplies. I guess She could tell by the look on my face that although I did appricate them... I was hoping for something more personal. She did inform me that there just may be something hidden about my wagon that I might like. Woo hoo ! Treasure hunt. After visiting with Her for a spell... I headed anxiously to my wagon and began to search high and low. I had jokingly announced that I hoped it was a Man that She brought me. But.. I did not find such a big package within the wagon. I was half way through tearing the wagon apart when I stopped and sat down... thinking that... no gift.. no little bauble could replace the real gift I had been given eariler. She.. was.. home. Nothing was more important. While sitting there thinking on this... and enjoying the bliss the feelings gave me.... I endulged in a bowl of wine. I felt like I could finally rest my head and my body would follow to relax. So... I did. Laying to the furs with a contented sigh... arms bent back behind my head and drifting away. It wasnt long before all those loose ends came back.. wrapping me in that somber.. depressed state. I sat up.. down in the mouth and meloncoly again. I closed my eyes and tried hard to remember how it felt just Ahn's before... I grunted and strained... I think I even silently pleaded for it to return. But what ever wall was back.. wasnt budging. Fuckin lovely. So now what do I do. Nothing. Nothing at all. I am lost in my own world. Even my heart doesnt know me anymore... perhaps thats a good thing. Anything dealing with the heart only hurts. Love... living... damn bloody muscle should come with a warning...
No Trespassing.
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