Where was all this going now? I had to wonder.. I was scaired shitless... I couldnt breath. I forced myself to sit and relax. Rehearsing what I would say to Seth. Simple: "Tal Seth.. condraulations" Excited: " Seth !! Ohhh Congradulations ! " Reserved: "Well done Seth " Comical: " Bout time ya Goon " Surprised: " You? made tribe? " even down to the unspeakable.. " Now that your Tribe would you just ravish me till the bosks bellow in the morning? " Ok so that one made me laugh... and I did relax. Dinner was ready and I waited. I was dishevled and drawn. It was sometime later that He did show up... a tired Wily in tow. The children scattered to their wagons and Seth greeted me in a voice I had never heard from Him before. Husky.. deep... no reservations. I took to rubbing my tired.. dark circled eyes then stood and figeted with my braid... several strands had escaped the woven design and I did my best to capture them and restrain them behind my ears. He told me to stop... and speaking over Him... I blurted out.. Seth.. Tal.. Congradulations. He came closer and stood an arms lenght from me. He said soon He would see me at my best.. and my worst... get use to it. No matter what I did.. I was beautiful. I sat back down. Letting those words roll on my tongue in the silence of my own thoughts. For so long I had been bigger than life... standing tall.. standing big. I had to be big.. my shoulders needed to carry much. But I was tired of being big and wanted to give up that right for someone else to carry. No longer a target for judgemental looks and comments. I want to be small again... be carried around in that security of someone else's space. He told me to listen.. and I did. It was all too surreal and I let each word filter in for catagorizing later. He made it clear.. what He wanted. He made it crystal clear His intentions. He backed everything He said up.. I had no arguement. I could not refute a thing. Rebuttle?? No.. I concur. Seth told me things that I had not seen... or did not know that any other person alive had saw within me. I had forgotten the Man that had followed me from the day Jerus brought me home. I had built blinders up so I didnt feel the constant gaze of His watch on me. It was to the point that I thought I was alone... but now.. He reminded me that I never was. I looked to His hands.. and I wanted to be there.. so help me Skies.. I wanted to be there. I gave a glance to Flip n Flop who never did interfear.. they stayed at a distance but remained watchful. Seth stole a kiss at one point and I felt myself shrinking before Him. The weight lifted and I was light. He smiled.. His eyes twinkled... and He moved me towards my wagon. We sat on the platform. I leaned against Him and He pulled a fur around me. He talked quietly to me for some time more... I responded with murmers and nods. My eyes were heavy... it was so peacefull. He somehow held me in His hands without even touching me. I had closed my eyes.. outside !! I had relaxed.. outside!! I felt vunerable and naked but there was no fear... no hesitation to sleep. It was beautiful....
I was small again.
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