I was sitting at the main fire, after a night of sleepless thought. Speaking with Bo helped me greatly. We glanced over to see Dashie ride in, Skies... How beautiful She looked this day. She was absolutely glowing. We chuckled as She was removed...errr helped down from Her kaiila being Her center of gravity had shifted... yet as She made Her way towards us.. I could see something amiss. Dash paused and nearly dropped to Her knees, holding that oversized belly of Her's. I was able to get to Her and hold Her up till Bo scooped Her in His arms and brought Her to the fire. My instincts as a healer took over.. thought I havent actually practiced in a long time. Dash was in labor.. and this child was ready and coming full force. Im so glad paki was there to help, running to get things I needed.. and Bo... heh, what a charature. The big guy.. for all He is worth.. I could tell was nervous. Anyway.. the birth went off normally, Mother and child fine.. and the First Son of Bosephus entered into the world. 9 pounds.. 10 ounces.. 21 inches long. All Fingers... toes.. and yes a stem on the larma. Dashie has nicknamed the baby Tug for His voracious appetite in feeding. Im gonna have to give Her some cream for those nips of Her's... She is gonna be sore. I sent them baskets from Jerus, myself and the kids.. should help them out these first few weeks. Im thrilled.....
Im still upset over the past few night's events. First Tarra and I being attacked by a rogue larl that left us shredded and full of claw holes. Thankfully, Shi and Kam were in camp and killed the beast easily. Then.. it seems Jerus, after some thought was put into His head that mahalah was still so sad, wanted to bind her to Bo as His slave... so she would never feel the pain and hurt she has in the past. I applaud His efforts, but perhaps it should have been discussed first. This didnt go over well with mahalah... nor I since I knew alittle more into things than Jerus. I tried to stop it.. I tried to explain.. but when Jerus gets an idea.. there is no stopping Him. mahalah naturally freaked out. Yes... she overstepped her rights as a... slave.. which, until this night, I still refussed to think of her as. she is... was.. my family.. a connection to my life in the past... I will always love her.. but I am torn. mahalah hurt me badly. she could have thrust a dagger into my heart and it would not have touched an ounce of the pain I fell. From within the confussion of pain and fear, mahalah uttered a threat of cursing Jerus. I stood stunned.. unable to voice what I wanted to scream.. I could only say.. "Never". I wanted to grab her and shake her.. remind her of the pain of losing someone you love.. and for her to so carelessly cast words that would have destroyed me and all I live for... well... I still feel the ache in my heart. Jerus simply ingorned her.. stabbing her with the reminders that she is a slave.. she has nothing.. not even family anymore. His words cut through me as Im sure they did mahalah. I understand her anger towards Him.. but I am not sure I will ever forgive her for this. she tried to appologize to me at the fires.. I could do nothing but turn my back on her. I hold a grudge for a long long time.. but after my talk with Bo and what He offered me in retrobution... I could not speak nor look at mahalah.. for fear the evil one within me would lash out and drain her of blood in one simple swipe of my blade.
For now, I rejoice in the birth of Bo-Dashous.. as I have named Him... and hopefully.. maybe... I might start healing again.
"Tuchuk shall not kill Tuchuk..." I still hear Bloodhawk saying this over the winds..... is it worth the healing of my heart???
Time only.. will tell.
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