samara is dead. It is the first time those words would pass over my lips since it happened. Jerus took her life by the fire's of the Harigga for the crime of break law 101.. striking a Free Man. So many emotions course through my veins right now.. anger.. fear... annoyance. I am angry that such would or could have happened... yet I fear for what Jerus will do. I worry He will consume Himself in hunting the Man down responsible for witnessing the act and take an eye for an eye.. or in this case.. a head for a head. At the fires, which turned into a bloodthirsty gathering... it was a split desision.. some wanted to see the girl die.. other's hoped it wouldnt happen. I tried to stop it.. I pleaded with Jerus.. but in the end it was in vane... He had to do what the law's stated. I could have thought of at least 4 other slave girl's more worthy of death than our sammie. Two that sat and laughed as if it was a game. One.. if she only knew.. that I have been given the right to end her life if I feel it. The other.. sad to say.. if she only knew how people laughed behind her back at what a hopeless pathetic little person she was. I see now why Jerus says what He does and why He avoids them. I refussed to leave the wagon till the pool of blood on the ground was cleaned. I wont look at it.. I will avoid that area.
On a good note... I got's me a kajiru... his name is larl. he is a worker slave.. not one of those brainless silkies of the city. he is a pit fighter.. sparred Ramza the other night and beat Him. Not a bad deal on him too... his prior owner.. I was informed as a few of us hung out at the lake.. had died... and the boy was being taken away to be sold at auction. I enquired as to his price.. that which I never was going to pay anyways.. but wanted to be humored. 10 Copper the guard said... I of course said... 3. The guard wanted 8... I said 1 and you leave with your life....and there you have it. Jerus looked larl over and actually thinks I way under paid. The slave is strong and very well mannered... he will do well among us. It will be nice to have larl around.. now I dont have to deal with those stuffy guards Jerus assigned all the time. Least I know larl's attention should be... on me.. rather than oogling the slavegirls like Jax and Enu. he has no use of the camp slave's yet... once he builds up trust of the Men.. he may pursue the girl's at their owners allowance. As for me.. knowing the ultimate torture for a kajira is to have a kajiru touch them... I cant wait. I will bide my time and then.. it will be my turn to laugh. For now.. larl will have doria to tend his needs and that other girl from the Paga wagons... kalie, I think her name is.
Jerus knows I am upset with Him... but also I am mad as He.
Shi and Tarra were right.. there was a storm coming... now that it has passed... what does the future hold?.....
In 2 weeks... the birth of our next child.
I love how He tell's me how beautiful I am when Im pregnant.
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