Im a healer... and I know when someone needs healing. There is a certain someone that has embedded a stick.... no.. a HUGE pole so far up their ass... they have splinters in their tongue. What was once clear and rational thinking has turned into a web of riddles and twisted words. I cant get a straight answer.... and when I ask for clairification... get snapped at like a sleen with it's bloody prey. Im aggravated... beyond aggravation. It's been said that certain people walk around here with their noses in the air... playing a game... working other's to gain face with another... acting a certain way towards someone, only when a specific person is around. I've seen this... I know it happens... but I never expected it from someone so close to me.
Do I feel sorry for myself? No... not at all. Am I upset with myself... yes... very much. Big Difference. So Ive been told to talk about it.. and many have offered to listen. Yet.. when I talk about it... Im suddenly accused of having a Pity Me party... with me as the only guest??? Boskcrap. When I wasnt talking... I was wrong.. when I am talking.. I am wrong. So what the flying fluck??? Which way do I go now??? If I just sit and smile... Im denying my true feelings... If I look down... sad... fustrated.. Im self loathing. Just be you... how many times Ive heard that... yet "me" isnt good enough and never will be. I thought I could be something that would satisfy everyone... blending alittle of this and alittle of that... but the mixture is still lumpy and unformed. I give up... I dont know which way to turn without running into a wall. Ask me a question in plain simple Gorean.... not some high and snootie twisted riddle and an... Im better than you way... and I would answer honestly. But treating me and other's like a child is only growing irratating and foolish.
Time for other's to see that... the peg's they stand on.. are no better or higher than the same's one's I fell from. Im climbing back up... either keep pushing me down till I eventually take you with me or let me continue.
You made me..... deal with it.
:::She slammed the book shut and threw it across the wagon... the fire... was returning::::::
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