A busy night. After the initial shock wore off... I went through what I am told is the typical spectrum of emotions. I cried.. sulked.. cursed... dove into myself... then I got angry. Not just typical Silken angry... but a cold.. calm... rage. I felt it burning behind my eyes. I watched as the 5 children... all under the age of 7 ... looked on confused at the parade of visitors. Dakota has been Tuchuk through and through and Shanay helped with the children. I was fortunate to be with Tarra.. Shi.. Cana.. Dashie ... Bo and velvetta last night. I spoke briefly with Fonce... who seemed concerned with who will be responsible for me now. Like I care. I will hold off on that aspect of things as much as I can.... Im in the mood to kill. With Jerus gone.. and no one to take my reins... I will do as I please. I will hunt the plains for His killers... for I have nothing to lose.... except my children. But I know that... when I die.. they will still be raised in the love and care of the People... learn the values and hopefully understand that... this is the plains... death is a part of our lives.... and revenge is a mug of blackwine best served cold.
I have asked Shi to ready the Pyre quickly. Jerus is and was honor... and to keep Him from riding the Skies for my own selfish reasons was something I could not do. When the visits died down last night... I left quietly to be with Him... ready Him. He still looked handsome... and I gathered Him into my arms and spoke my peace.. swearing I would not rest till His killers were found. And I wont... I wont.
When I returned Ahn's later... and gathered the children... I told them what they must ready for their Father's journey. It will be held in two nights. Right now... my concern is aiding in giving Jerus the send off He deserves.. everything else is on the back burner. Soon.. He will be free... no more pain... no more worry. Soon... I will hunt....
... and nothing else matter's.
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