An interesting night I must say. Im tired. Not because I could not sleep... but because I wasnt left alone hardly at all. The children and I set up a rather cozy fire pit outside all the wagons... tanya set up the small kitchen area.. Dakota digging trenches... the little one's setting up mugs.. bowls.. plates. In no time we had our little world within a world within a world all done like it had been there for ages. Shanay kept fussing over me.. wanting me to rest.. asking if I wanted to talk... but what was there to talk about? Things will work out... I just know it. When the hubba-baloo of dinner was over and the youngins were sent to bathe and then to their wagons... my oldest twins stayed behind and we talked about things... nothing of importance.. just.. "things". I could still see them trying to protect me and I read the worry on their faces... but I assured them I was fine and to go get some sleep. tanya cleaned up the fire area and even lit the small one in the wagon. I gave her some new warmer clothes that I found in a trunk I had forgotten about since the move. she was thankful as ever and bid me good night.. hurrying off to the slaves wagon. I turned in and wandered about my wagon. Still adjusting a few things around it... when I came across a few paintings that Shi had done for me. I was tempted to let my anger get the best of me and burn them on the spot... but instead.. I hung them up. It would remind me of a time when He thought I was beautiful.. when He paid me attention and when I mattered. I wish I could have figured out just what went wrong... and why. My own mind set has it that it is all my fault. It is easier to blame yourself than someone else. For now.... I will do just that. I wished that those walls we both built could have been scaled or broken through... but something just kept us each at bay. No matter... it's out of my hands now.
I had a few scrolls to go over and brough the oil lamp to my furs... propping myself up and started to read. Jax poked His head in and asked if I needed anything.. I said no.. and continued on with my work. About 30 Ehn later... Seth poked His head in and asked if I needed anything... to which I said no... and tried to settle back into responding to the scrolls. Another 30 Ehn later.. Jax again... was I ok?? Yes Jax Im fine.. I said.. and shook my head.. trying to re-engross myself in the scroll. Yup... 30 Ehn later.. Seth... Doing ok Silken? Yes Seth.. Im fine.... go.. guard something, I said. He smiled and said.. I am. I smirked and took out some parchment to pen a letter to my Papa.. last I heard He was in Koroba.. either way.. I know how to get Him. Jax returned... and Seth again.. both at regular intervales and I had to give up on reading for the night. I fell asleep.. but was woken shortly after with Jax whispering... Silken? You asleep? I answered groggy... No.. Im sleeping, Jax. Well if your sleeping.. why are you answering me? He said. I growled and pulled the furs around my shoulders. Now this continued into the early Ahn's.. and just a few Ahn's before dawn.. I finally lost it. I told them both if they didnt leave me alone... I was going to cut off their balls and roast them for breakfast. I slept fine after that.
Seth was sitting on my steps when I finally got up. tanya had made fresh blackwine and He sat drinking a bowl full. Jax had turned in for some sleep before regular duties. The camp had just barely begun to wake and move about. I gave my hair a twist and tie.. which put it into a long bosktail and wrapped several furs around me... heading out onto the platform. Lowering to sit next to Seth and watch the central fire begin to paint the Sky with it's colors. He shared His blackwine with me and threw an arm around my shoulders giving me a tug and squeeze. Dont worry Silken... everything will be fine, He said. Im not worried Seth, I whispered. I looked up at Seth and asked... Would you like some breakfast? He shook His head and responded... No Silken, I need to go get some sleep before my regular duties begin. I nodded and He took another sip of the blackwine then handed me the rest. He bid me well and headed off to His wagon. I called out to Him and He paused.. turning to look back at me... and I said.. Ya know... Ya dont need to watch over me all night. He just smiled and then chuckled... turned around and muttered something... I swear I heard Him say..
But I like to.
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