It hit me like a caravan of wagons and bosk. From where it came I do not know. I was simply walking the wagon rows as I had done for many days now. I was tired.. over tired. I was watching my boots hit the ground.. one after the other. I then realized there was no sound. I could hear myself breathing... but nothing else. When I looked up... I saw people walking by.. they were talking.. but I heard nothing. I saw children running by.. laughing.. no sound. A Warrior scolding a young Woman.. no sound. I started to spin around and around.. focusing on many things.. looking at faces.. at things that should hold noise.. but there was nothing. I closed my eyes and still felt the pull of the spin my body had been subjected too. When I opened them.. Jax was there. He grabbed both my shoulders.. I could see Him speaking.. I was stairing at His lips.. but again.. no sound. I blinked several times.. and that's when I felt it. A tear.. a single beautiful tear was sent to cascade down my cheek. I hadnt cried in so long.. I refussed to cry for so long that I could no longer do it. I had forbid myself to feel... and now that I wanted too.. I could not. I wanted that release.. I wanted to purge the dwelling beast from within me. But I could not make the tears come. I reached up to touch the small droplet and smear it over my cheek. I almost smiled. Then a sudden rush of sound.. a ringing in my ears that started in the distance. It grew louder and louder... I looked to Jax.. why didnt He hear it?? My ears hurt.. I cringed.. flesh vibrated and palms came up to slap pver my ears. Jax gave me a small shake and my legs then gave in.. and my eyes rolled back into my head. Jax caught me and suddenly.. there was silence again. It did not last long though.. something began to swell in the distance.. at first...far away... like a tunnel. I was being lifted up... carried... my head laying back. I felt my hair swaying against the ground... the thud of boots on steps... a paniced cry of a girl... ahhhhhh the softness of my furs.. I could smell them... smell me. Soft fingers to my face... the cry of echoed words.. yes.. tanya... my girl. Calloused fingers closed on my hand and brushed softly against my flesh.. Jax.. my most trusted of friends. He called to me to follow His voice... and though I knew He was only horts away on my right.. and tanya .. the same to my left... I felt thousands of passangs away from them. I tried to go to Him... but I did not really want to leave this blissful state. I heard their voices paniced and pained.. and even with all my knowledge... I had no idea what was happening to me. I did not care either. I wanted to stay.. wrapped in this darkness... it was like a lovers embrace.. comforting.. soft.. gentle. The darkness was nice... and my body was enveloped with little tingles of electric impulses. The pain was gone.. the anger.. the maddness... worry and fear. Their voices took another step away... and I started to spin downward into my furs.. faster and faster.. I felt my fingers grab the furs.. my eyelids clentched tighter together... I thought for sure I was going to spin right off the edge. I gave into the vortex and let go.. my body eased into a calm state.. and the spinning suddenly stopped. My frame jolted to the side with the sudden cease of movement. I was light as a feather.. but heavy as a wagon. I could not move.. I could not cry out.. my mouth.. lips and tongue would not respond. Deeper away the voices faded until I heard nothing else...
It was quiet. It was calm. It was dark.
It was death.
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