Friday, October 3, 2008

Page 253 (12/28/2007) The beauty of it all

Last night I did something I never thought I could.. would.. or should do. I gave tanya away. Even though I hate the girl.. I somehow cared alot about her. Seth owns her now. Why Him? Actually... He was the first to ask. I would have given her to anyone actually... as it is... she didnt care.. as long as it was male. Seth offered to buy her.. I told Him I could not accept a payment for something that wasnt rightfully mine in the first place. Plus with all the work He has done for me without compensation... I considered it a trade. Not only has He worked His ass off for the tribe with metal supplies and repairs.. but He has found time to tend the workings of all my wagons, including the Paga stops. He has worked long into the night and early mornings to make sure that the Warriors and Commanders have a place to go and relax and drink. The barrels needed new bands, the wagons new braces... new pegs for the bota's... the list is endless and was growing staggering. But He did it.
So... I bid tanya goodbye... even though she wasnt going far... I was losing my right hand. The only slave allowed near my children... the only one allowed to touch or hold them. she will continue to work the paga wagons and brewing the paga with me... but she is no longer mine. I hope I did the right thing... I think I did. It was time to think of someone else beside myself. Seth and I shook hands on it... and I left Him with a few conditions reguarding the girl that if He defaults on.. she will become mine again.
Kam has assigned me two of His Men to ensure my... integrity. yeeeaaaaaah. ok. Ive named them Flip and Flop. While there is nothing to guard.. I do appriciate the extra sets of hands and eyes. Kam has put Seth in charge of guarding the children and Jax with His usual duties of being my bitch. ::snickers:: Im learning to let them do things for me rather than thinking I have to do everything alone.
With the quiet of night that came... and I didnt have tanya to pick on at my fires... I had myself a few drinks. Needed to test the new batch.. ya know? It was rather... bone warming. I found myself laying back and looking to the moons. Everything and nothing was going through my thoughts. I wanted to walk the plains... be alone with my myself.. but Flip n Flop would not allow it. They even threatened to tie my ass to the wagon if I did. Heh. I let them win... this night. No desire to piss off Kam... and I know they will report my every move to Him. They did stop me from drinking bota number three and suggested it was time I go to bed. No arguement there. So within my wagon.. I undressed and brushed out my hair. Through the opening in the top... I could once again see the moons... my fingers played with that red feather Tarra had "sent" me. What was the connection? What was the meaning? I felt a bit of uneasiness stir within... it felt like something bad... something dark. I just knew I had to rest and prepare....
I just didnt know.... for what.

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