I couldnt sleep. Surprise. I got two gifts last night both totally different in idea and both beautiful. First Aiyana gave me a patch of fabric that She said was as vibrant as the mood I bring to the fires. I chuckled.. ohhh I brought something to the fires.. I didnt think vibrant was the word. None the less I was awed by the colors and pattern. It was a brillient deep red's with gold in it. My favorite color of course. Next Seth arrived and had a package for me. Inside was a small metal sculpture of a kaiila and rider. He whispered it was me. Ive never gotten anything like it before and was amazed that metal could be worked into such detail. He is truly gifted.
The joking and the teasing has returned to the fires. It was good.. it was refreshing. I could breath again. The Sahli fellow showed back up. There is something strange about that Man... I cant place it yet. I knew something was wrong... He avoided my question.. or just didnt hear me.. again. I dont think He likes me but... ask me if I care. Ive also noticed the beginning of the next love triangle. I can see Arigh.. Jaella and Sahli with the ropes around them. Call it intuition.. it doesnt take a Spex to see this going on. Sahli seems to tolorate Jaella much more than Arigh. Arigh is way too over bearing on Men. She smothers them instead of stepping back. My first inkling of this was hearing Sahli scream at Her when He was upchuckin by the kaiila pens. By the repeated attempts She made.. and His continued yells to leave Him alone... I get my conclusion. I watched Sahli tonight. He smiled to Jaella and even touched Her shoulder. The chemistry is there.. again.. time will tell. Sometimes.. you just cant look for love. Sometimes.. you have to ignore it and it will come and bite you in the ass. It did to me. But.. I never chased. I would never chase a Man for love. It must be given freely.
So my wagon is now decorated a bit more colorful and artsy. I hung the fabric Aiyana gave me on the wall and placed the statue Seth gave me on a barrel next to my furs. It reminds me of Him. It's kinda like He is watching over me... and part of Him is allowed in my wagon to do so. I like the color the fabric brings to the wagon... I should of thought of that before. Maybe I'll ask Aiyana for a quilt or something to hang up. Maybe if the mood changed in my wagon.. I would be able to sleep better. Maybe... Maybe.. Maybe... where's Kam...
I need answers.
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