Reyhan and His son Ty came to visit to give Jerus and I more information on the death of the lil Cata. We said our farewells with water and fire. Rey's son gave me a lock of the young girl's hair... which I carried with me the rest of the night and into the early morning Ahn's. Before the dawn I slipped from the wagon and headed out to my spot on that small hill in the midst of the herds. It had rained over night and as the rays of LarTorvis brightened the sky.. I saw the most beautiful rainbow. I had brought with me a satchel of supplies that ranged from strands of silver, beads, fasteners and small glass bottles that were usually used to carry poisons. I watched the rainbow for awhile while making a holder for the piece of hair that would soon grace my neck.. a reminder of how fragile life is.
I thought much over the mood of late... mine included. I had not told a soul besides Jerus of the death of Kyra, my larl. Having gone to visit the cubs.. and knowing that Elder Kyra was about at Her time to take the long walk as the other's have done. I arrived at the cave to find the twin cubs... now rather grown prancing and chasing a few field urts. The male pounced more than the female... and I stood silent.. watching for many Ehn. It occured to me that Kyra hadnt come up to me and nudged me as She always did.. so I stepped towards the cave. The cubs tackled me with licks and claws... which drenched me in larl slobber. I wrestled them aside and moved into the cave. I found Kyra within... panting heavily and imobile on Her side. As I crouched beside Her.. I felt the great pain this beast was in. She was more so a friend than an animal to me.. yet all the prior Clan Larl's had taken the walk.. the outcome known... yet I never witnessed the demise. Kyra's eyes were half lidded in pain... yet She tried to purr... for me. I patted the great head and leaned to wrap my arms around Her neck. I felt Her tremendous paw slap to my arm and the warm licks of sandpaper tongue to my flesh. I nuzzled my face into Her fur as She labored harder with each breath. Sitting back up, I brought Her head to my lap and pet Her with soothing words... thanking Her for protecting the twins and I before bringing us to Jerus. I told Her we would be safe now and Her job was over and soon She would be with Her Mother.. Grandmother and the generations before on the winds. Carefully removing the leather collar with the Clan markings which I set aside... I took my dagger from my boot and held it to Her neck. I felt Her body relax as if accepting that Her pain would now end and another lick came to my arm... as if thanking me for ending Her torment. I whispered to Her that I would see Her children brought up in the clan and that her daughter would soon be hunting with me and wearing the collar of the generations. Tears had burned my eyes.. stinging them so my vision was clouded and as I look one last look to my faithfull pal... I drew the blade across Her neck.. severing the main supply of blood that now began to flow over my legs. Kyra took Her final breath that early morning as Her cubs played peacefully outside. I felt a small piece of me leave as Her soul did.... She would take part of me with Her as the other's had. My chest and throat ached with sobs that were released as I held my larl for the last time. It was a private pyre just me... and once She was committed to the earth, I took a small pouch of ash that would join with the lock of hair... remembering my two brave girl's that touched my heart more than anyone would ever know. The collar was locked away till the cub was ready and trained... and now brought to the clan grounds where they will be trained.
Now.. as I sit here watching the colors in the sky... I think of my Sister Tarra. How I wish there was some way to talk of the pain I harbor inside... yet wouldnt bother Her with my silliness. Im am certain that She and Shi try for a son... She does not need me blubbering about with my problems. Besides the distance that has be driven between us... seems by the usual silly rumors that fly.... I think we both just avoid each other to make them go away. We are the same.. yet so different... and I love Her like my blood kin. How some can say that Shi runs after me more than Her... well.. Yes.. Shi and I do have a relationship that spans many years... but nothing like what Tarra and He have. Shi has always meant alot to me... and His vow to protect me came upon my freedom that late EnVar many moons ago. It is true He sometimes carries it to the extreme and I turn to yelling at Him for being "Over-protective" He has told me many times... He will not allow anything to happen to the last of the Hawks. Almost a destiny in keeping me alive. It's annoying.. and I can see how it can be misjudged... but I have always been the advocate in saying... Speak not of it lest it be your business. So let the rumors fly.. let speculation dwell... in the end it is just silly gossip. I love Tarra.. I love Shi... but in the end.. my heart.. and everything else that goes with it... belongs to Jerus. Nothing... can ever change that.
Run fast and strong my sweet KyraGirl... ohhhh and nip Trajen in the arse when you see Him... will ya... hmmmm?
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